With reference to your original question
Future, i also don't understand why anyone
would put the pressure of children on
their relationship within the first 12-18
months.
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Syrenity
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Dec 2007 Posts: 24
Posted: 12-16-07 06:01am
I worked with a woman once who was a
single parent to a 3 year old girl. Her
daughter was her life. She had been
married for about 10 years but her husband
was abusive. She finally left him, but she
still wanted a child. I think she felt
like she was to old to wait & see if
she could meet another guy, get married,
& be sure that it didn't turn out like
her first marriage before having a baby,
so she got artificially inseminated.
This was a woman I worked with & when
I met her she was working two different
jobs to make ends meet, plus sharing an
apartment with a friend & her kid, so
I wouldn't say that she was financially
ready either. I think in her case she just
knew she was ready to be a mom & was
tired of waiting for it to happen for her
naturally. She was one of the happiest
women I have ever known, & her baby
was very happy & well taken care of as
well.
I guess convention just doesn't work for
everyone.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
Thanks: 2
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-17-08 19:48pm
Syrenity, I realize it's a little late to
be responding to your post, but here
goes.
In the situation described in your post, I
totally understand why she had a child.
She waited a long, long time to have one.
I am mainly talking about young teens who
get pregnant on purpose before they even
have a steady boyfriend, education, job,
etc., etc.
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prettygirlygirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 Posts: 213
Posted: 02-28-08 23:23pm
Breizzy
wrote:
Marriage is just a piece of
paper.... it doesnt mean anything....
.
Not, it's not just a piece of paper. It's
legal protection.
Breizzy
wrote:
Children are the true blessing....
.
So why would you comit to a lifelong
responsibility and involvement in raising,
shaping and guiding an entire human being
if you can't commit to a "piece of paper
that means nothing".
Breizzy
wrote:
SOme women want children .. .and are not
in a committed relationship...
They shouldnt not bring stop wanting or
going to have a child if they want one..
and know they have all the love and
ability to be a good
parent..
Love is one thing, but it is absolutely
recklessly irresponsible to have a child
without being able to provide proper
financing, housing, life experience and
personal stability in addition to love.
Love isn't going to feed or raise your
kid.
If a woman is able to do all that, then
all the power to her and I'm sure she'll
do just fine on her own.
Breizzy
wrote:
I was a single parent (even when i was
married to my first hubby) Love the baby,
b e the best parent(s) you can be... and
that's all children need
..
That's just not true and as a parent you
know it. There is a reason that adoption
agencies make wannabe parents (single and
otherwise) jump through hoops to prove
they're capable of raising a child. A kid
needs so much more than for their parent
to want it and love it.
I'm a single parent. I had my kid long
before I had even considered getting
married and concieved that kid with
someone whom I wouldn't allow to babysit
my cat let alone raise my child. Accidents
happen. I had no business having and
raising a baby when I did. Fortunately, we
do fine, I have tonnes of support from my
parents and my daughter does have a good
life, but I couldn't have given her that.
I do feel sorry for my daughter. She'll
never have the life she deserves because I
made a stupid mistake and had her way too
young and single.
I completely understand an uplanned
pregnancy when the circumstances just
aren't right, but to actively go out and
try to become pregnant when you can't take
care of a child in EVERYSINGLE way shape
and form (and seriously, love isn't
enough) is not showing love to your
potentail child, it's just being selfish.
With the grammer expressed by some of
these posters, I shudder to think of the
possibilities of them in the work force to
support their children. See, I can be not
so nice. One thing, though, I am honest.
Just hold on and give yourselves time to
grow up. Stay in school. Get an
education. Meet somebody worthy of you.
You don't have to settle for a roll in the
hay, get knocked up and sit back and watch
your favorite show on t.v. Life is going
to keep on rolling by for the rest of your
life. Know that only you can embrace it.
It is your life. Yours alone. Have a
chance to get to be you.
I know it can seem like you are waiting
forever for the rest of your life to
reveal itself to you. But, it will.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
Thanks: 2
Thanked:0
Re: Same Thoughts Eiri Posted: 02-29-08 14:11pm
Roberta777
wrote:
With the grammer expressed
by some of these posters, I shudder to
think of the possibilities of them in the
work force to support their children.
That's the understatement of the year.
Quote:
See, I can be not
so nice. One thing, though, I am honest.
There was nothing "not so
nice" about that comment at all. If no
one tells people anything, how will they
ever know?
