JerichoSarge
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 46
Location: Perry, Florida United States
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Swallowing My Pride
Posted: 10-29-07 21:40pm
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I haven't done anything like this before
so I'll sum up myself in a single
sentence. I'm an eighteen year old mute
who wants to propose to his girlfriend but
is too afraid and having problems with
sex.
I moved to the United States about five
months ago to be with my girlfriend. I
wasn't a virgin before then and she was my
only one. I never had problems with sex
until a few weeks ago. Lately as soon as I
put on a condom I'll lose my erection.
I've been trying not to let my girlfriend
notice, I've been with her for four years
now so it's not like I've been looking at
other women. I just don't know why I keep
going soft as soon as I cover myself.
It took me a long time to muster up enough
courage to post this, I'm a very shy
person. Help would be great and I'll
answer any questions that might get me
that help. Thanks for reading and any
suggestions/advice.
Scott
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005
Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
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Posted: 10-29-07 21:56pm
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Hey, there's no shame in this, a LOT of
guys have this problem.
A solution that might work is putting on a
condom and then masturbating. You may
simply need to accoustim your penis to the
feel of a condom and "teach" your body
that condoms can be erotic too!
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JerichoSarge
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 46
Location: Perry, Florida United States
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Posted: 10-29-07 22:05pm
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But I was fine with all this up until
about three weeks ago. Maybe it's just
stress? I've had a lot on my mind like
talking and marriage. I'm thinking it has
to do with speaking again... I'll try that
though, thanks. Any other suggestions?
From anyone?
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005
Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
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Posted: 10-29-07 22:14pm
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It could definitely be stress; that stuff
does really annoying things to people.
Your story sounds interesting and
inspiring (aside from this little
side-quest!) so I wish you a TON of luck
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JerichoSarge
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 46
Location: Perry, Florida United States
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Posted: 10-29-07 22:21pm
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Thanks a ton. It took me a lot to post
post this, originally I posted in the
Mental Health forum and got a good number
of responses for learning to speak again.
That's a long story and I think what is
causing all this in the first place. I'll
try what you suggested tonight most likely
and keep you updated. Thanks again for all
the help, it's much appreciated.
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marvel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 1085
Location: Toronto, Ontario (but only a private message away)
Thanks: 47
Thanked:6
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Posted: 10-30-07 01:15am
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Way to go for taking the courage to talk
about this!
It's much more common than you think.
Not only does stress cause inconvenient
bodily reactions to everyday things, but
it compounds itself and causes more
problems. Instead of trying to hide it
from your girlfriend, talk to her about
it. Proper communication might ease some
of the anxiety and stress you're having...
it might actually help!
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JerichoSarge
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 46
Location: Perry, Florida United States
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Posted: 10-30-07 05:20am
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Thanks though we haven't had proper
communication for four years but I know
what you mean. Anyway, we tried what Eiri
suggested and got nowhere. She has tonight
off from her second job and I've been
looking for another one too so I should
just get on with it. Something more to try
would be great though...
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Whaturmuva
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2007
Posts: 104
Location: http://www.gamerout.com/, http://www.gamerout.com/ http://www.gamerout.com/
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Posted: 10-30-07 08:31am
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Have her pleasure you some right before
you place the condom on so that you have a
"maximum" erection (haha sounds like a
superhero). Make sure to have everything
out and ready first though so you can toss
it on, then get going.
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JerichoSarge
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 46
Location: Perry, Florida United States
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Posted: 10-30-07 14:56pm
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That does sound like a superhero. Thanks
for the suggestion but we've already tried
it and it has little effect. I did end up
telling her though and she seems more than
happy to throw herself at me. Wow, that
sounded wrong...
Well so far nothing's working. Should I be
so worried about this?
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Whaturmuva
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2007
Posts: 104
Location: http://www.gamerout.com/, http://www.gamerout.com/ http://www.gamerout.com/
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Posted: 10-31-07 08:30am
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Well the anxiety to perform doesn't sound
like it is helping you. Try to give it
some more time. Go a week or so without
trying to have sex, or having any other
sexual encounters. Then the day you want
to give it a shot...have a lot of foreplay
to arouse yourself, then stop, then do it
again, and stop, then when you think your
ready go all the way and hopefully your
body will be so full of anticipation that
the condom doesn't turn you off (yes it
does for me too). And hopefully you will
be able to perform.
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JerichoSarge
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 46
Location: Perry, Florida United States
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Posted: 10-31-07 21:20pm
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Good idea. After signing with her she
seems a little testy so I'll give her some
space. Maybe I'll sleep on the couch...
Hopefully no more masked maniacs will ring
the doorbell, I don't like Halloween. My
first time celebrating it and I don't like
it.
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sjdude
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Oct 2007
Posts: 13
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Posted: 11-01-07 00:13am
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could definately be the stress....
try a bigger sized condom too... it might
be to tight and cut off the circulation..
I had this problem.
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JerichoSarge
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 46
Location: Perry, Florida United States
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Posted: 11-01-07 05:40am
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Thanks, I already tried the bigger condoms
though. Didn't help. We talked/signed and
decided not to 'do anything of the sexual
nature' for about a week going along the
lines of Whaturmuva. I have to pick up a
pregnancy test today too, that should be
fun.
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Keeba88
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Sep 2007
Posts: 223
Location: ,
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Posted: 11-01-07 16:45pm
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Reading this remind me of my relationship
with my boyfriend! He was fine with it
forever (the condoms) and then one night
things changed. He got all upset and kinda
took it out on me cause he was so mad.
Then of coarse i felt like it was my
fault! Like he wasn't attracted to me
anymore or i was doing something wrong. So
i ended up getting just as stressed as he
did about it. I told him that it wasn't a
big deal to me and that i'm not going to
get mad and what not. Then for awhile he
just never wanted to have intercourse
because he was afraid it would happen
again. He didn't understand that it wasn't
a big deal to me...he told me that if he
can't 'give it to me' that i'll get it
somewhere else....and boy was that a long
convo!!! But we tried the froeplay right
before...we tried the off and on and off
and on crap. And then we waited for about
4 days (we couldn't make it to a week!)
but needless to say
we didn't 'fix' the dilema....i just went
on BC and now he doesn't have to wry about
it. Untill....he gets to drunk! But hes
drunk and forgets about it in the morning
lol. Would your gf consider Birth Control?
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JerichoSarge
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 46
Location: Perry, Florida United States
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Posted: 11-01-07 17:03pm
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Interesting story. Neither of us drink
though. I bought two pregnancy tests this
afternoon, wasn't that an experience.
She's waiting for the result on one right
now. I suggested birth control a few days
ago actually, she said it would be a good
idea. She's got an appointment with her
GYN Saturday. Give me about a half hour
and I'll post if it's + or - , let's hope
negative.
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 1088
Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
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Thanked:4
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Posted: 11-01-07 17:15pm
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You should definately try a different form
of birth control. Condoms have done this
to my hubby and I, they can be a huge buz
kill. I dont like how they feel and the
feeling of them turns my guy off, so yeah
we had some problems. Once we stopped
using them everything was great.
Best Wishes to you and your girl,
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JerichoSarge
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 46
Location: Perry, Florida United States
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Posted: 11-01-07 17:27pm
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Thanks Rosie. We'll wait for getting rid
of the condom, she's going to get the
pill. And the test was negative.
Ringraziare Dio.
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 1088
Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
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Thanked:4
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Posted: 11-01-07 17:40pm
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Congrats....They have contraceptives over
the counter that you can buy at most drug
stores, pharmacys and grocery stores and
its not the pill or a condom. You
actually insert a gel like medication into
your vagina, well your girls vagina,right
before you have sex. It comes in a box
with like 20 pre-filled applicators. The
gel is sort of like vaseline. Its not
smelly or painful. When having sex with
it inside of her it feels like thick
lubrication. Its a little messy, but its
a good way to stay protected until she
gets on the pill and not use condoms. My
hubby said it just felt wetter. The box
says its 99% effective. I havent really
heard anyone talk about it though. So
look for it. Dont be discouraged if you
dont find it right away. I looked at 5
different stores before I found it at
Sears.
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JerichoSarge
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Oct 2007
Posts: 46
Location: Perry, Florida United States
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Posted: 11-01-07 18:33pm
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I'll look for those tomorrow after work.
And thanks for the tip, I'll see what she
thinks of it.
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Whaturmuva
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2007
Posts: 104
Location: http://www.gamerout.com/, http://www.gamerout.com/ http://www.gamerout.com/
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Posted: 11-02-07 09:15am
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| Rosie H
wrote: | | Congrats....They have
contraceptives over the counter that you
can buy at most drug stores, pharmacys and
grocery stores and its not the pill or a
condom. You actually insert a gel like
medication into your vagina, well your
girls vagina,right before you have sex.
It comes in a box with like 20 pre-filled
applicators. The gel is sort of like
vaseline. Its not smelly or painful.
When having sex with it inside of her it
feels like thick lubrication. Its a
little messy, but its a good way to stay
protected until she gets on the pill and
not use condoms. My hubby said it just
felt wetter. The box says its 99%
effective. I havent really heard anyone
talk about it though. So look for it.
Dont be discouraged if you dont find it
right away. I looked at 5 different
stores before I found it at
Sears. |
Are you referring to spermicides? If so I
don't believe the percentage is that
high.
Planned parenthood has the listing of how
effective contraceptives are so this link
might be useful to you Jericho
http://www.plannedparenthood.or
g/birth-control-pregnancy/effectiveness.ht
m
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