Teen Pregnancy Forum - Is Desire For a Baby While Still a Child a Mental Illness?


Is Desire For a Baby While Still a Child a Mental Illness?

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Verizon-y

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Is Desire For a Baby While Still a Child a Mental Illness? Posted: 10-31-07 06:38am


I have been very surprised lately to see how many children have expressed a desire to have children. It must be some sort of disordered thinking, because it is irrational. Does anyone have any information about this? If I am wrong, I would appreciate being educated on the subject. Thanks.

AyaMiyaki

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Posted: 10-31-07 14:15pm


I think it's a normal feeling. I remember wanting a baby when I was a teenager, daydreaming about it and everything. I never acted on my desires, but they were real. I think it's connected to hormones, really. I wouldn't go so far as to call it a mental illness.

Becky

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Posted: 10-31-07 15:54pm


I agree with everything Laura said

kaiteo

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Posted: 10-31-07 17:28pm


I don't think of it as a mental illness at all.

Verizon-y

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Posted: 10-31-07 21:10pm


Thank-you for all of your answers so far. What about the children who act on it?

AyaMiyaki

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Posted: 10-31-07 21:24pm


In my opinion, a lapse of judgment. Many of the girls who post here claiming that they want a baby comment that they've babysat since they were fillintheblank years old so they know they'll be a good mother, or that they can do school too! A good portion of them don't understand the amount of work and care a child truly needs, how they don't just need diapers and clothes (or how much those things actually cost) or how it's not as easy as just skipping off to school with a smiling newborn at home being cared for by... who exactly? Many of them don't pay for all of their bills, support themselves fully (paying your cell bill is not supporting yourself) or are even out of school. Many of them still live under a guardian's roof and think their boyfriend of seven weeks is their soulmate. I think it's common for many teenagers to step on the gas when it comes to big decisions. A lot of them later recognize that they should have waited. I again don't think it's a mental illness... it's simply a teenager who wants what she wants and doesn't want to hear anything negative about it. It's unfortunate and we try to talk them out of it whenever we can, but... shrug

Verizon-y

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Posted: 10-31-07 21:30pm


Thanks, AyaMiyaki.

prettygirlygirl

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Posted: 11-06-07 03:09am

AyaMiyaki wrote:

In my opinion, a lapse of judgment. Many of the girls who post here claiming that they want a baby comment that they've babysat since they were fillintheblank years old so they know they'll be a good mother, or that they can do school too! A good portion of them don't understand the amount of work and care a child truly needs, how they don't just need diapers and clothes (or how much those things actually cost) or how it's not as easy as just skipping off to school with a smiling newborn at home being cared for by... who exactly? Many of them don't pay for all of their bills, support themselves fully (paying your cell bill is not supporting yourself) or are even out of school. Many of them still live under a guardian's roof and think their boyfriend of seven weeks is their soulmate.

I think it's common for many teenagers to step on the gas when it comes to big decisions. A lot of them later recognize that they should have waited. I again don't think it's a mental illness... it's simply a teenager who wants what she wants and doesn't want to hear anything negative about it. It's unfortunate and we try to talk them out of it whenever we can, but... *shrug*

Great post AyaMiyaki, it was a really interesting read. I have all of the same thoughts and wanted to add just one more.

I remember reading that the part of the brain used in logical decision making is not fully developed in teenages, we are not as physiologically capable of decision making until later years.

Here's a link with an interesting read, written by someone that understands a hell of a lot more about psychology (and aparently physiology)than I ever will.

http://www.brainconnection.com/topics /?main=news-in-rev/teen-frontal

jessamyn

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Posted: 11-06-07 11:12am


I dont think it is a mental illness more of a massive lack of... a lack of good judgement, the way they were raised, love, etc...

rosejackson

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Posted: 11-06-07 12:57pm


i don't think it's a mental illness at all. i reckon it's probably those nasty hormones as most people i know have had a desire to have a baby when they were a teenager. also, it could be because they have never had anyone to love or to love them back and having a baby could change this

Verizon-y

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Posted: 11-06-07 14:58pm

prettygirlygirl wrote:

Here's a link with an interesting read, written by someone that understands a hell of a lot more about psychology (and aparently physiology)than I ever will.

http://www.brainconnection.com/topics /?main=news-in-rev/teen-frontal

That was an excellent article, and I think it explained this problem of teen wishes to become parents without thinking it through perfectly. It also explains why the teens usually either answer inadequately or stop posting in a thread after the normal questions get asked about how they will pay and care for their child, etc.

Here is the summary:

The results from these studies do not mean that a teenager will always make irrational decisions. They do, however, suggest that teenagers need guidance as their brains develop, especially in the realm of controlling emotional impulses in order to make rational decisions. It is becoming clear that the adolescent brain is a work in progress, and that parents and educators can help this progress along through open communication and clear boundaries.

Lilly Ivy

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Posted: 11-07-07 16:43pm


I know when I found my 'soulmate' (who later cheated on my, left me and married her all within 2weeks) when I was 14, we both wanted a baby SO badly. I'm so glad I was smart enough to get on birth control. I'm 18 now, pregnant to a WONDERFUL man, living with him, he's supporting me with his even more wonderful job. While my 'souldmate' went to school for a year and is now working at McD's for minimum wage and living with his grandma and his 'wife', who is sicker than an AIDS patient. So PLEASE, if you WANT to have a baby, get on birth control and try that way... aka, it won't work. You never know where your life is gonna go and I think my story is the perfect story for it. I know I'm still a teenager myself, but I am a lot more mature than I was 4 almost 5 years ago. So PLEASE use birth control of some sort (even condoms) if you're mind is telling you that you want a baby and you are still a child yourself.

Verizon-y

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Posted: 11-07-07 19:17pm


DITTO!!!!