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Tonight

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kaiteo

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Joined: 03 Oct 2007
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Location: Cold, Maine

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Tonight Posted: 11-01-07 00:43am


My boyfriend Nick (who I am almost twelve weeks pregnant with) and I have been having some difficulties lately. One minute he is a nice, funny, charismatic person whom I love, the next he is throwing and breaking things, and it's starting to scare me. This has been going on for a good two weeks, and I've been good at hiding my emotions up until now. Tonight, he started acting passive agressive towards me and attacking me emotionally. He made me feel completely worthless and then something just triggered me. I turned the shower on, locked the bathroom door and just cut. That was that. I haven't cut in at least six months. I tried to call my dad, but he turns the ringer off of the house phone before he goes to bed. I've been crying for about an hour now, and it's hard to stop. I just really need somebody to talk to. Anybody. Nick is watching a movie our room, completely oblivious as to what's going on. I'm hurting so much. My heart feels completely broken, and I don't know how to fix it, or where to start.

CarolDiane

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Oh Boy Posted: 11-01-07 05:31am


I think your boyfriend is just coming out of denial and just now facing the fact he is going to be a father. To be honest with you, it does not sound like he is to happy about it. If there is one thing as an advisor on this board, I will alway say the truth about how I see things. And this is not good. I know it's hard to control, but you have to stop and think before you cut. You are acting out your frustration on yourself and you child. If I were you my friend, think about doing without him. Sounds like he is getting ready to exit stage left to me. I think it is hitting him now that he is going to have a big responsiblity on his hands. Did he ever mention marrige to you? Most important thing to realize is that is you child inside of you. And it needs it's mother. Questions: How old are you and how old is you boyfriend? Do you live together? How often do you see him? Does he go out alot and not tell you where he is going and stay out late? Do you have any friends to turn to? All these questions are important parts of an answer I am looking for. Please let it all out so we can help you. Any thoughts from anyone else what might be happening here? Carrie

Becky

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Posted: 11-01-07 07:09am


I agree completely with what MsSky said although it is strange as you guys actually planned the baby. I think when he planned this baby with you he didn;t realise the actual reality of it. If you think that you need some professional help then you can always go and see your GP as s/he will be able to offer you help and advice Self harming is a hard thing to get through but it can be done. don't beat yourself up if you do relapse just try and think about how long you haven't self harmed for and try and be positive and start over. Heres some things you could try to do that I used to help me stop self harming. Some sound silly but give them a couple of goes to see if they can help you. Talking about how you feel either friend, family or help line Draw or write about how you feel Scribble in red on a bit of paper Cut into a apple or something similar Put an elastic band or hair tie around your wrist and pull it when you feel the need to self harm Go for a walk to clear your head or another sort of exercise Scream into a pillow or punch and kick it Now for your boyfriend: Anyone who enjoys hurting someone - especially someone he allegedly loves - is obviously an insecure, rage-filled lost soul. Why else would he need to say and do such awful things to you? Does he know how bad his callous remarks make you feel? If, for some reason, he's unaware that his words carry such weight, then you need to tell him. You should say something like, ‘Your comments really hurt my feelings. So, if you care about me then stop it.’ If he does know the effect of his diatribes, yet continues the ill treatment, there's only one thing to do. Dump him. Don't delay. Do it the way you rip off a plaster: in one quick, albeit painful, motion. You DO NOT need someone abusive in you and you babies life. Emotional abuse can often turn to physical and his abuse is leading you to abuse yourself Please act on this now before it gets worse

young Girl

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Joined: 21 Jun 2007
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Location: everythings better in, texas USA

Posted: 11-01-07 11:18am


okay katie girl here it goes there are 2 things you can wish and hope that he gets his sh** together or you can leave this happened with me and travis in the beginning it was like one day hes perfect the next he was angry and nick took it out on YOU because YOU are the only person he feels he can take it out on. he knows you love him and he knows the situation you guys are in. so he knows he can probably get away with it. boys dont think before they talk they just say things travis used to say anything he could possibly say to piss me off and make me cry. it was like he WANTED to see me frusterated and sad at the time. and you know what else, even if i tried to walk away and go cry he would follow me and keep yelling or calling me names and saying things to make it worse. and then 2 hrs later he felt like crap and was all about sorry and i love you and i was "just mad" just mad- not a good thing. because if nick was "just mad" then he acted the wrong way and took it out on YOu wich isnt fair. i guess travis felt i was helpless when he treated me that way. well nick may feel that way about you too. that youre helpless and so he CAN GET AWAY WITH IT but babies and children are helpless. he could target your child next. dont let that happen and dont wait til its too late. the best advice i can give you is to get out for a while. can you stay with youir mom or something? im not telling you to leave him. dont do that you need to teach him a lesson and let him know that you will leave if thats what you have to do. i did that. he never treated me that way again once they see that you are strong enough to walk away for a while its going to freak them out.because your walking away with EVERYTHING they have. thier love, thier child and their life. hon honestly its alot to type all at once i have so much i could tell you if you need me pm me i hope youre ok and dont cry. because you CANT stress out with this baby rememeber you ARE this babies only support right now. when youre upset so is she/he stay calm for the baby

Mommy35

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Joined: 23 Sep 2006
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Location: Vacationland, USA,

Posted: 11-01-07 15:08pm


I think the above posters have given you some really good advice. Let me tell you from experience, you will get used to the emotional and verbal abuse. One day you will realize that it no longer hurts your feelings when Nick says those hateful things to you. When he realizes you are not going to cry and get upset over the words he may up the ante and start being physical. He will stop breaking stuff and he will start being aggressive to you. Please get out of that situation! NOW!!! It's not going to get better. It's going to get worse...much worse. You don't deserve it and neither does your baby. In the state that you live in if you are involved in a domestic situation with a child in the home the DHS has the right to come in and take your child, and they will. Call Spruce Run today! HUGZ

young Girl

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Joined: 21 Jun 2007
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Location: everythings better in, texas USA

Posted: 11-01-07 15:11pm

Mommy35 wrote:

I think the above posters have given you some really good advice.

Let me tell you from experience, you will get used to the emotional and verbal abuse. One day you will realize that it no longer hurts your feelings when Nick says those hateful things to you. When he realizes you are not going to cry and get upset over the words he may up the ante and start being physical. He will stop breaking stuff and he will start being aggressive to you. Please get out of that situation! NOW!!! It's not going to get better. It's going to get worse...much worse.

You don't deserve it and neither does your baby.

In the state that you live in if you are involved in a domestic situation with a child in the home the DHS has the right to come in and take your child, and they will.

Call Spruce Run today!

*HUGZ*

sadly yes

one day the words wont hurt anymore
and he will need to use something else to hurt you

thats *if* he doesnt change

DigiNews

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 01 Nov 2007
Posts: 19

Posted: 11-01-07 21:49pm


Ok I will try and give my view as a man on this subject. First passive agressive normally leads to worse cases of aggresion, so be warned about this, if he ever hits you just leave and never look back, it will be hard but you would need to for the sake of you and if I read right, your child. You need to sit down with him and talk, let him know how he made you feel and tell him you won't stand for it. Hiding your emotions may seem like the best idea but he may not know just how much it hurts you. I won't lie, I made my girl freind feel like rubbish without ever knowing it, untill she told me. We've been getting along much better recently so, just sit down offer him a beer and tell him you want to talk about how he is feeling about the baby etc.

Tonight