I'd stopped a year ago because of a few
words spoken to me by a friend who I think
I could describe as my favourite person in
the world right now. Then, as some sort
of depression seemed to take its hold on
me I started cutting again, badly, to the
point where there was a 2 and a half inch
section of my wrist where there was more
scarring and scabbing than skin between
it.. and I've gone 5 days now without but
its like this constant thing on my mind.
I dunno, when I thought about stopping I
would think that it would be easy and I
could do it whenever I wanted.. but I
can't. It's just living day to day now..
and fighting that urge every moment. I
hate that's its ruining my life; taking
over. I've made my friends cry, worried
to the point of begging.. and just wanted
to talk about it to people who can
understand what I'm going through a little
better.
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nineinchnails277
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2006 Posts: 58 Location: texas
Posted: 11-03-07 01:38am
azurete, yeah, its a recurring thing. you
might go for a year or so with out
cutting, but somethin'll happen,
and....well...it wont be pretty. and
you're right, practicly only yourself or
someone that has been through it, or is
going though it, can help. i would like to
help.
-james
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CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2221 Location: Finally a picture to a name,
Thanks: 87
Thanked:125
Posted: 11-03-07 14:29pm
Let's find out what is deppressing you.
Then maybe we can get a hold of this and
help you change it.
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2221 Location: Finally a picture to a name,
Thanks: 87
Thanked:125
Posted: 11-26-07 21:26pm
You think the holidays have anything to do
with it?
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rosejackson
Supporter
Joined: 23 Dec 2005 Posts: 4327 Location: hertfordshire, england
Thanks: 3
Thanked:7
Posted: 01-09-08 07:48am
MsCarrie
wrote:
You think the holidays have
anything to do with
it?
i agree totally. this time of year seems
to bring out all the bad thoughts.
everyone seems to be depressed this time
of year
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Selenity
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 8 Location: Far Away From You,
Posted: 01-09-08 15:19pm
The holidays have such expectations of
happiness and appreciation placed on us we
can't help but feel overwhelmed, not by
all the happiness. But for many of the
people on this forum like me, who instead
of the happiness you are supposed to feel,
just have emptiness inside you. And it
depresses me, not feeling like they do,
not being able to be happy and celebrate
just because it is December. I can't feel
those things. So i cut myself to let
myself feel them. I tend to substitute
alcohol for cutting over the festive
period in the hope that i drink myself
into a position that i can't cut. Tho
sometimes all this ends up creating is a
situation where i cut myself whilst drunk
which only makes things worse.
I realise i actually have not said
anything to encourage or help you. I will
say this, if you have had the willpower to
stop once you can do it again, it is
something that will never ever really be
out of your system that you need to
accept. Your friend helped you stop once,
perhaps he/she can help again. If you ever
wanna chat just drop me a PM.
|
aquachickola
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 15 Location: , FL USA
Posted: 03-08-08 22:43pm
i deal with that urge everyday az, i
totally understand. Please know that
slipping a little bit doesn't completely
undo all the progress youv'e made. Cutting
is an addiciton like anything else,
sometimes we fall of the wagon. It's ok.
You recognizing that youv'e slipped and
wanting to get back on track are sooo
important. You seem to have a strong
support system- use them.
Also, soemthing that iv'e found to be
helpful in my "cutting sobriety" is to do
things for myself, little tokens. You know
how AA has those coins? 1 day sober, 30
days sober, etc? something like that.
Something i can look at and say, look what
i did. sometimes it helps put my anxiety
into prospective.
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This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
