Hello,
I am very confused about
my husbands behavior.One minute or day, he
can be nice, polite and kind. On other
days, anything can set him off into a
rage. He screams and yells, calls me
names, so much so, that I started calling
him names back, which I have never done in
any other relationship. He tells me what
to wear, what shoes and bag, and how to
wear my hair, crtisizing almost everything
I choose to wear.He has told me" I am
worthy of being taken to MacDonalds, and
he will not take me out if I do not wear
what he wants me to wear. Now he is doing
this to our 10 year old daughter, but she
gives him a hard time, and he is much less
forgiving with her.But it does worry me.
I was once
invited to a friends birthday party, I
ofcoarse invited him, however he did not
want to go. It just so happened, the
birthday party was around the corner from
his best friends restaurant, which is
where he went.On my way back from the
party, I saw his car. I went into the
restaurant and he was there. I walked in
and said "hello". He looked at me and
said very angrily" what are YOU doing
here"??? I said I saw your car and thought
I would say hello. He then told me that" I
should leave" after I had just ordered a
glass of wine. He also told me" I was
using him for food and drinks".After I
heard that I decided to leave, noticing he
was in a very bad mood( for what reason, I
still do not know) he never talked openly
and honest with me, and when we did talk,
it ended up in a rage, it would be
terrible.I started gathering my things to
leave and he started following me. I told
his that" I was okay, he didn't need to
come with me". He said,"no, that he wanted
to come with me to the car". I then told
him again,"I was fine". I started to leave
and he started following me, I then ran
accross the street to a small deli, and he
started screaming names at me" PUTANA,
YOUR A WORTHLESS PIECE OF caca"!!! In the
middle of the street. I didn't know why he
was doing this!!I became afarid, and ran
into the store. I then saw him in the
store with me. I toild him to'leave me
alone and go away"!! He wouldn't. I then
left the store and started running to my
car. I looked back and he was following
me. I ran to the car and tried to put my
key into the car door, but he covered the
key hole. I ran around to the other side,
got in and locked the door. He then walked
away, cursing and yelling, calling me
names. I drove home, but I was so afraid
to go home, that I went to the police
station to fill out a report. I had a
police escort home, but he was not home
yet. I told the police, it was okay they
could leave. They didn't want to, but did
anyway, upon my insistance.I couldn't go
to bed, nor could I sleep. I was trembling
with fear.I was outside having a cigarette
when he came home, he just looked at me
and went upstairs. I finally went to bed
in the guest bedroom, but that was the day
I decided I could not live like this. I
started sleeping in the guest bedroom, but
he never apologized or mentioned this
incident. He acted as though it never
happened.When I was upset, he could not
understand why, nor could he understand
why I wanted to move out!!!Things like
this would happen and he would tell me' I
am mental, I am bi-polar, and even cut out
articles for me. He said he would see a
story on TV and say" it was just like me"
that I have alot of trouble and that I am
bi-polar, over and over. When I might not
be the happiest person, although I am
optomistic, I know I am not Bi-polar. I
have read the symptoms and I do not see
them in me.I do see a therapist and she
told me that I am not bi-polar.Could it be
that he has some sort of mental problem?
or could he be seeing the bi-polar in
himself? Like projecting what he see's
about himself, yet accusing me of it? I
just do not know, and he makes me so sad.
I really loved this person, even though it
was always rocky. But we had a child
together, and I would have never had a
child with him if I would have known that
there was something seriously wrong with
his behavior.I really loved him and wanted
it to work. Can anyone please give me
advice on why he acts like this towards
me. I am a good hearted and loving person.
He brings out the worst in me though,
because I get so upset when he calls me
those names and puts me down. It is so
hard to ignore them.
My
mother tells me not to let him empower me,
however when you are called such horrible
names, being told" what a bad mother you
are, in front of your child' etc, it is
very difficult. I have tried and tried to
figure out why he is like this????
