Parenting Community Forum - Advice to Other Dads...


Advice to Other Dads...

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New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 06 Apr 2004
Posts: 5
Location: Mid Hudson Valley, New York

Advice to Other Dads... Posted: 04-06-04 13:37pm


Since the forum is new, here it goes... Get involved! Mom is not the only one who should deal with poopy diapers. Get interactive! Mom is in college currently, so tuesday's dad rules. Take time off! Your not going to cancun anymore right now, your child needs your interaction. Get with it! Go to dr appts, read books and if your reading this message you've go to a real good start. Get used to it! Your #3 in the family. Bear with the blurps, diapers, sleeplessness with mom. Don't assume she is ok with the crying and restlessness, it will make a better person out of you. Become part of the community...There are plenty of children's things out there other than chuck e cheese, amusement parks, tv. Visit family, friends, fields, farms,the library, the firehall, ...Your child is awaiting knowledge, interaction and your better guidance. Live simply so that others may simply live. lastly, pipe in here. I'm a 40 yr old first time dad. M6 (if your not blurped on by your newborn at least 3 times a week your not involved....)

TX_momy

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 04 Jan 2004
Posts: 120
Location: TX

Hey ... Posted: 05-21-04 10:48am


Do you thing they will do that for real? My husband is funn and he loves the baby spends time with her even if I wish he will do that more but he doesent go to dr app. Or read books about it ... And any way how come there is no move up in here in this room ??? What's wrong with those daddys I guess they don't need any tips and tricks ?

niceguy

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 20 Aug 2003
Posts: 150
Location: New York

Posted: 05-21-04 14:35pm


Sorry to say, but ive been lacking in the daddy department as well. Wife takes to Dr. Appointments and helps with homework. But I provide the job and money. I also provide the kids with love and they know that. Moms and dads have different roles. I provide the discipline. You can't expect a dad to do the mom's job and vice versa. Each parent has his/her roles. Thats why single parent homes are so inadequate... Im there for my kids when they need me...I think im a good dad.. - niceguy

Riversmommy

Active User, Really EHEALTHy

Joined: 31 May 2004
Posts: 711
Location: Springfield,Illinois

Posted: 06-05-04 22:33pm


I really dont think single homes are inadequate at all....Right now me and my boyfriend (father of my son) dont live together b/c we are trying to get a place of our own so right now im the sole care taker of my son and I do a damn good job at both roles when he isnt over visiting w/ us.....Just b/c the daddy isnt around or the mom isnt around doesnt mean they cant play both roles I think they are very capable of doing both.

2ferano

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 23 Dec 2003
Posts: 3717

Posted: 06-05-04 23:59pm


It all depends on the situation. The roles can be old-fashioned, reversed or shared. Or like riversmommy said the single parent can provide both. In this day in age most men and women work in which case cooking, cleaning and taking care of the children also needs to be split evenly.

acapellafella

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 01 Aug 2004
Posts: 7
Location: buffalo

Want to Get Involved Posted: 08-01-04 21:41pm


I want to get involved more with my newborn but me and mommy are not together anymore. It gets awkward sometimes traveling all the way to her house only to get pushed out after a couple of hours. Im in the military and after a long day it would make my day to see my son even if he all he does is cry. How does a nice guy get involved when its obvious that she is angry that the relationship is the reason she is being vindictive? Im not really ready to push legal issues in dealing with this.

pitterpatter

Active User, Really EHEALTHy

Joined: 15 Aug 2004
Posts: 619
Location: United States

Posted: 08-22-04 02:50am


My brother in law is currently going through this right now and the one thing I can say to you is never give up despite how stressfull or uncomfortable it may get. Your child needs you and your ex should understand this. If she doesn't now she will later. My brother in law said that in his parenting class they said that half of all dads that stop communication with their kids are the ones who at one point were very actively involved with them, but because of the stress they saw their kids going through they thought it would be best to stop visiting them. I'm a child of a deadbeat dad that wasn't ever involved really and I really wish I would of had that experience with my father. I really think that it's crucial for you to stick with it when the going gets tough. Your kids might become angry with you later if you give up. As far as the vindictive part because of the relationship the biggest advice I can give you is try your best to handle it like a buisness. The only buisness you and her need to talk about is your child and nothing else. Don't talk about personal issues or anything else. Even if she tries to burst your bubble try to ignore anything that might bother you. Hope this helps!

freemanashley

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 25 Aug 2004
Posts: 70
Location: work

My Husband Was Wonderful Posted: 08-25-04 14:28pm


My husband volunteered to stay home with our daughter kenzington for the first year of her life. He was a great stay at home dad, he changes diapers with out a fight, he absolutly loves the time they spend together. Now that he's back at work and kenzi's in daycare he can't wait to come home and play with her. I am now 9 weeks pregnant again and he just can't wait!

2ferano

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 23 Dec 2003
Posts: 3717

Posted: 08-25-04 17:23pm


Those are the only kind of dad's that there should be! The ones who think "mom's and dad's have different roles" shouldn't be allowed to have children. Sure if one works and one doesn't then one is going to have to give the baby/children more time then the other, but that doesn't mean that the one who does work doesn't have to do anything. I cannot stand men/or women for that matter, who think that only the one parent is in charge of child care. They think that if they are there when it is convenient for them then that is enough. No, it is not nearly enough and they never should have become parents!

2ferano

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 23 Dec 2003
Posts: 3717

Posted: 08-25-04 17:23pm


Those are the only kind of dad's that there should be! The ones who think "mom's and dad's have different roles" shouldn't be allowed to have children. Sure if one works and one doesn't then one is going to have to give the baby/children more time then the other, but that doesn't mean that the one who does work doesn't have to do anything. I cannot stand men/or women for that matter, who think that only the one parent is in charge of child care. They think that if they are there when it is convenient for them then that is enough. No, it is not nearly enough and they never should have become parents!

l2at24

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 06 Nov 2004
Posts: 1509

Re: Advice to Other Dads...
Posted: 11-22-04 15:45pm

m6 wrote:

since the forum is new, here it goes...

Get involved! Mom is not the only one who should deal with poopy diapers.

Get interactive! Mom is in college currently, so tuesday's dad rules.

Take time off! Your not going to cancun anymore right now, your child needs your interaction.

Get with it! Go to dr appts, read books and if your reading this message you've go to a real good start.

Get used to it! Your #3 in the family. Bear with the blurps, diapers, sleeplessness with mom. Don't assume she is ok with the crying and restlessness, it will make a better person out of you.

Become part of the community...There are plenty of children's things out there other than chuck e cheese, amusement parks, tv. Visit family, friends, fields, farms,the library, the firehall, ...Your child is awaiting knowledge, interaction and your better guidance.

Live simply so that others may simply live.

Cool

lastly, pipe in here. I'm a 40 yr old first time dad.

M6 (if your not blurped on by your newborn at least 3 times a week your not involved....)

i think this message is awesome. I'm sorry you got some negative feedback. My husband is a wonderful father. We have a 28 month old and an 8 month old. At night, I get the 28 month old (because she barely ever gets up) and he gets up with the new baby (pretty often). He doesn't complain about a thing and they love him so much. The baby prefers him over me and i'm with her all day. Laughing

l2at24

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 06 Nov 2004
Posts: 1509

Re: Advice to Other Dads...
Posted: 11-22-04 15:45pm

m6 wrote:

lastly, pipe in here. I'm a 40 yr old first time dad.

M6 (if your not blurped on by your newborn at least 3 times a week your not involved....)

l2at24

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 06 Nov 2004
Posts: 1509

Re: Advice to Other Dads...
Posted: 11-22-04 15:45pm

m6 wrote:

lastly, pipe in here. I'm a 40 yr old first time dad.

M6 (if your not blurped on by your newborn at least 3 times a week your not involved....)

l2at24

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 06 Nov 2004
Posts: 1509

Re: Advice to Other Dads...
Posted: 11-22-04 15:47pm

m6 wrote:

lastly, pipe in here. I'm a 40 yr old first time dad.

M6 (if your not blurped on by your newborn at least 3 times a week your not involved....)

l2at24

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 06 Nov 2004
Posts: 1509

Re: Advice to Other Dads...
Posted: 11-22-04 15:49pm

m6 wrote:

lastly, pipe in here. I'm a 40 yr old first time dad.

M6 (if your not blurped on by your newborn at least 3 times a week your not involved....)

l2at24

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 06 Nov 2004
Posts: 1509

Re: Advice to Other Dads...
Posted: 11-22-04 15:49pm

m6 wrote:

lastly, pipe in here. I'm a 40 yr old first time dad.

M6 (if your not blurped on by your newborn at least 3 times a week your not involved....)

truckstophero

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Posts: 84
Location: alabama

Posted: 09-05-05 19:48pm


None of this makes fatherhood too appealing to me...

kismit

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 14 Aug 2005
Posts: 114
Location: tx

Posted: 09-05-05 23:16pm


Sorry you feel that way. Maybe once you hold your child for the first time and see them take their first breathe of fresh air you will change you feelings. Be optomistic about it because its all worth it. Well i'm a first time mom-to-be (should be the same for the dad) and thats how I feel at least... Good luck.

Spanky2005

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 30 Jul 2005
Posts: 76
Location: Philadelphia

Different Roles Somewhat Posted: 09-05-05 23:37pm


While I agree that dads should do whatever they can to help their kids, i.E. Change diapers, feed them and burp them etc., I also feel there are certain things only moms can do and certain things only dads can do. A man can't breast feed obviously. Also, a girl nearing puberty is not going to talk to her dad about it. The mother-daughter relationship and the father-son relationship are two different things. Most of the "roles" are the same for moms and dads but there are some that are unique.

kismit

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 14 Aug 2005
Posts: 114
Location: tx

Posted: 09-06-05 12:24pm


I agree. For the most part the roles can be shared between both. But yes there are some things that I mother can relate to and some others that a dad can relate to. But in the case that you do only have one parent its not impossible for a mom or a dad to handle the duties or roles of the missing adult. It may be akward at times and alittle hard but it is not impossible. Parents need to realize that and make sure their on the same page as one another. Just my opinion.