Please Help!

Excuse the double posting, but I have put this on the women's sexual health section. I'd appreciate a male point of view though and so thought I should post here too x


Hi there

I really need some advice. It is a long story but I will try and summarise it briefly. I am 30 and have not had full sexual intercourse before. This is partly because of my mixed cultural background and I wasn't sure how I wanted to live my life. My parents have not imposed any views on me, but I felt very confused. I also wanted to feel that I was in love when I had sex for the first time. I feel that I know what I want now . I did have a relationship with someone for about 9m that ended this Feb when he returned to Australia and I was completely heartbroken. It had been v turbulent partly because he was suffering from bi-polar and I have been a mess for most of this year. Over the course of the relationship we tried to have penetrative sex but couldn't. I think I wasn't relaxed because I didnt trust him due to his mood swings. I have now met a lovely man but I am really scared about anything physical happening. He is Latin and very comfortable with being physical. He kisses and cuddles me all the time which I enjoy. But I am really scared to have sex with him in case there are problems. He seems to really like me and tells me it took him months to get the courage to ask me out and now that we are together I am worried I will be a disappointment since I feel like I don't know what to do in sex. He is always trying to french kiss me in public and although I kiss him I push him away, I do want to kiss him but dont feel sure how to do it properly. He thinks that I am just 'shy' but I think he is getting frustrated and feels that I am rejecting him. I havent told him any of this because it might sound weird that I am 30 and so inexperienced. Also he is a friend of a friend and I dont want everyone to know. Do you have any advice? Should I tell him? When I told my ex-boyfriend I think it scared him that he would be my first lover and that I'd expect him to marry me or something. I just want to be able to trust him and I dont want to be completely rubbish at it. My confidence has really gone since my ex was so off and on with me all the time. I dont want to get hurt. I hate that I am feeling so stuck. I dont want to lose this man but I dont want to rush just to try and prove that I do like him. Please, I'd be so grateful for any advice. I feel that if I tell this guy, it will make everything really heavy. While I think he likes me a lot, I'm sure he just wants to enjoy things and have fun. I really wish I could since I do fancy him a lot and enjoy being with him.
Any advice would be appreciated.
xxxx