Joined: 08 Nov 2007 Posts: 26 Location: East Midlands, UK
So Scared Posted: 11-08-07 04:08am
I'm 19 and have just started University I
have been with my boyfriend for nearly two
years and we have big plans to stay
together, move out, get married and have a
baby.
However.
I think I might be pregnant now. I do not
want a baby now. I cannot have a baby now.
I have already had one termination, I just
don't know whether I could do it again,
I'm on the pill, my boyfriend always uses
a condom. If I'm already pregnant again
(termination - August '06) I just think,
is it a sign? I mean, I've tried so hard
to prevent a pregnancy... I just don't
know what to do.
I daren't take a test incase it's positive
but I've had no pregnancy symptoms at all.
The other day I was a little dizzy when I
stood up but other than that, nothing.
Then the other day my tummy started
feeling funny..I don't know whether it
might be a baby kicking me. I daren't take
a test.
I haven't had a period because I've run
several packets of my birth control
together so I don't know.
I don't know what to do.
Technically I could be 16 weeks pregnant.
Oh god.
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littlemus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2007 Posts: 58 Location: Southern California,
Posted: 11-08-07 04:49am
first take a calm breath. it sounds like
you are majorly freaking out.
i just found out i am not pregnant and i
was in a similar situation as you.
first off i had a achy tummy almost
constantly and had a nausiating feeling in
my gut, not from being pregnant but from
worrying about it so much.
have you told your boyfriend about this
yet? if not you should. mine surprised me
immensely by being so supportive of me,
begin there for me, and just holding me up
when i thought i would fall down...hard.
im assuming since youve been with him for
2 years now that he was with you the last
time you went through this, so im sure he
will be there this time aswell.
i hate to say it and i know how terribly
dreadful it can be but you need to take a
pregnancy test now, to be sure if you are
or not. this is not one of those things
you can leave alone and come back later to
deal with.
also don't run your BCP's together it can
be dangerous to you and your"maybe" unborn
child.
i dont think you are pregnant if you take
your pill everyday and as prescribedand
your boyfriend uses a condom every time.
just relax, tell your boyfriend what you
think is happening, then in the next 3
days take a test. i know its scary...
possibly the longest few mins of my life,
but youll make it through this.
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unicarrie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2007 Posts: 26 Location: East Midlands, UK
Posted: 11-08-07 05:00am
I am freaking out big time.
My boyfriend was with me last time yes,
and keeping the baby was, unfortunately,
just not an option. It wasn't even
discussed. I daren't tell him that I might
be pregnant again, I know he will be there
for me but I just can't face telling
anyone.
Telling him will make it more real, will
make it much more real.
It isn't an achy tummy I have, it feels
like.. oh I dunno how to decribe it. I
don't even know what a baby kicking you
feels like, I just hope I'm imagining
things.
I looked down at my tummy last night,
lying on the sofa and it was moving up and
down on it's own...not just when I was
breathing in and out. It felt like it was
just churning over and over. I hope I'm
imagining things, reading too much into
things.
Every pregnancy is different I know, but I
was so ill last time, I was sick two/three
times a day and I wasn't being so careful
with my birth control. I know I have been
much more careful now, I just don't want
to be wrong. I don't want to be pregnant.
I can't take a pregnancy test, not yet.
I have given my student loan to my mother
and I am currently still waiting for my
pay cheque from work. Even when I have the
money I don't know whether I can face
waiting for the stick to say "not
pregnant". I just. Can't.
It's so ridiculous. I know I need to find
out but I don't want to. I want to ignore
it. I want to pretend it's not happening.
If it is at all.
I just want to believe that I'm getting
worked up over nothing. If that stick
tells me I'm pregnant I don't know what
I'll do.
Is it really dangerous? Mine says I can
run packs together.
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littlemus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2007 Posts: 58 Location: Southern California,
Posted: 11-08-07 05:27am
i know how afraid you are really, but you
have to tell him. like i said before being
pregnant is something you want to be
absolutely positive about.
i tried not telling my boyfriend abotu my
fears for a while and then i just freaked
so bad i told him and he just scooped me
into his arms and kissed my cheek said "it
will be alright, we will get through this"
and i know he meant im not alone hes there
for me, always. he understands me more
than anyone else, and i dont know how he
can be so wonderful to me when im being so
crazy.telling him was the right thing to
do.
when you were laying down you could have
been seeing your heartbeating in your
stomach region. i can do that too. dont
take every little thing and make it huge.
just breathe. i know at night is the worst
time when your trying to fall asleep and
all you can think of is "what do i do?"
but losing sleep over it is not going to
help infact it will show you"another sign
of pregnancy" TIREDNESS. the more you
worry abotu it the more things will happen
that vaildate your fears:
tiredness
more irritable
sick
even a missed period/late
etc...
all of which can be explained rationally.
if given a different look- tired because
you have been stressing out and not
sleeping well... irritable because you
havent been sleeping well yoru stressed
and you have a huge secret thats eating
you away on the inside ... sick because
your so worried and stressed a missed or
late period because you havent been
getting the proper nutrients in your body,
so stressed/ freaked out , your
mistreating your body with out knowing it.
the best thing you can do for yourself
even if it is hard is to buy a test and
USE IT. fast! the sooner you take it the
sooner you'll get your answer. if it is a
no - thank your god or goddess because ten
you just over reacted. if its a yes - you
have many options to choose from.
like i said before it is not likely that
you are pregnant if you take your pills as
you should and your boyfriend uses a
condom correctly each time you have sex.
your being safe and then some. thats good.
just calm down, breathe.
right now you really need someone close to
you to listen to you and help you along
with this. its scary, but youll be
alright.
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unicarrie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2007 Posts: 26 Location: East Midlands, UK
Posted: 11-08-07 05:36am
I'm trying to calm down, I really am, and
I understand what you are saying. Thank
you.
I just want to burst into tears. This is a
complete mess if I am pregnant, and If I'm
not I've been making myself feel so darn
bad for 3 weeks for no reason. I know my
boyfriend will be there for me, and I love
him dearly for that but until I know for
sure, I just don't want to get him
worried. I know that I am working myself
up and I realise that some things I have
experienced can be explained away
perfectly rationally.
As you said, it could just be my heart
beat, I could have just stood up too fast,
making me dizzy, on the days when I've
felt a little icky it could just be me
working myself up into a frenzy (tend to
feel sick when I'm nervous). At the same
time... I could be pregnant, I could be
expecting and it could be the first
flutters of a tiny baby, and if it is my
options are zero. I cannot have another
termination, not if I have felt my baby
move, not if I'm pregnant again.
Thank you for being so understanding of
me. I just need to talk. Need to let out
all my worries. I've been bottling it up
for weeks now trying to ignore it.
Every morning I'm waking up and looking at
my tummy in the mirror, have I gotten any
bigger? Am I pregnant?
It's a horrible feeling and I feel sick.
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littlemus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2007 Posts: 58 Location: Southern California,
Posted: 11-08-07 05:43am
you need to find out if you are pregnant
and then you need to go to a doctor and
talk to them if you plan on having the
baby you need to go to regular check ups
and the wole she-bang the sooner you find
out the better. i understand you need to
talk ^.^ thats why im still here i dont
have to wake up until 9:30 am
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unicarrie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2007 Posts: 26 Location: East Midlands, UK
Posted: 11-08-07 05:49am
It's 10:45 here, got the morning off Uni,
I think it's all just gotten to me today.
I noticed the odd tummy thing last night
and then just got fixated on it, couldn't
sleep until 2am just lying in bed feeling
my tummy, just looking at it. I've worked
myself up into a complete fit and now I
feel dreadful.
I'm just confused. I can't look after a
baby and neither can my boyfriend. He
doesn't earn much and neither do I, not to
mention the fact that we are both busy
almost all day every day. The baby would
be being raised by a stranger. I have no
family who could help, no one who's rich
and fabulous who could swoop down as
baby's faerie godmother. It would be a
struggle and we'd end up in a council
house.
At the same time, if I'm past the first
trimester I simply cannot have a
termination. I don't think it's fair.
I will find out. Just not today.
I'm too poor to afford a pregnancy test.
How sad is that.
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littlemus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2007 Posts: 58 Location: Southern California,
Posted: 11-08-07 05:55am
its not sad at all. there are other ways
to get a pregnancy test like planned
parenthood gives them for free. (at least
mine does) and i know what you mean. ugh
and staying up till 2 am.. well what am i
saying its 3am for me...
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unicarrie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2007 Posts: 26 Location: East Midlands, UK
Posted: 11-08-07 06:00am
We don't have planned parenthood here (I'm
in the UK) at least I don't think we do.
I'v never even heard of it before. If I
wanted to find out for free it means
booking an appointment with my local
doctor, which would still take 2 days as
it isn't an 'emergency' (I just rang to
ask). IT DARN WELL IS AN EMERGENCY TO ME.
Or going into town and into one of the
drug stores..I think they do them free..I
think.
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littlemus
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2007 Posts: 58 Location: Southern California,
Posted: 11-08-07 06:06am
im sure there is some way to get a cheep
or free pregnancy test. im sorry i really
must go to sleep now, try making yourself
buys today to occupy your mind from
thinking too much about it. i know what
you mean by this is an emergency to me...
i tottaly agree...
and once again your probably not prgnant
but you should take a test asap! just to
make sure!
good luck and have a good day!
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unicarrie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2007 Posts: 26 Location: East Midlands, UK
Posted: 11-08-07 06:11am
Thank you for listening, I really
appreciate the support and your words of
wisdom. I will try and take a test today
and I will try and keep myself busy.
Hopefully within a few days I will be
returning with positive news.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
Thanks: 2
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-08-07 07:37am
First of all, most people cannot feel
their fetus moving until 18 to 22 weeks,
so I don't think that is what you are
feeling.
Second of all, if your bc package says you
can run them together, then it is safe.
Thirdly, it's VERY difficult to get
pregnant under the circumstances you've
described. and there are about a million
other things (viruses, colds, infections,
etc., etc. that could be giving you
symptoms like dizziness.
Fourthly, do not hesitate to share your
panic with your boyfriend. Why in the
world is this your problem to bear all
alone? Did he or did he not enjoy sex
with you? Why does he get all of the
pleasure and none of the pain? That is
wrong.
Fifth and finally, tell your boyfriend and
get him to pay for the pregnancy test.
They cost between $8 and $20. I'm sure
between the two of you, you can come up
with around $10, right?
Please update us when you get your
negative test results back. You will be OK. I
know this seems like the end of the world,
but it is not. Your imagination is a
powerful thing, and it's going wild right
now.
Good Luck.
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prettygirlygirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 Posts: 213
Posted: 11-08-07 09:56am
Do you have Dollar Tree or some other
dollar-type store around you? they usually
have tests for $1. Did you check out the
uni pharmacy? I'm sure they have options
for broke students. Do you have a doctor
on campus that you could pop in and see?
Sorry you're freaking, but I too want you
to come back and announce your big fat
negative test when you get it.
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8786 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 161
Thanked:194
Posted: 11-08-07 10:15am
Go to the druggist and get yourself a
pregnancy test. You are freaking yourself
out over potentially nothing. What makes
you think you are pregnant? Your stomach
moving? That feeling in your stomach?
Those things could be digestive related
and have NOTHING to do with pregnancy.
Take a pregnancy test. Until then - stop
worrying about it.
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unicarrie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2007 Posts: 26 Location: East Midlands, UK
Posted: 11-08-07 11:47am
"so I don't think that is what you are
feeling."
Ok, slightly less panicked now.
"Why in the world is this your problem to
bear all alone? Did he or did he not enjoy
sex with you? Why does he get all of the
pleasure and none of the pain? That is
wrong."
It's not my problem alone, I know, and I'm
sure my boyfriend would be incredibly
supportive of me if I did tell him, it's
just that I do not want to worry him over
nothing. I'd prefer to just find out and
then either panic of heave a sigh of
relief.
--
"Do you have Dollar Tree or some other
dollar-type store around you? they usually
have tests for $1. Did you check out the
uni pharmacy? I'm sure they have options
for broke students. Do you have a doctor
on campus that you could pop in and see?"
We only have PoundLand here (being in the
UK) and they don't have pregnancy tests, I
checked. They just do useless things like
lighters and christmas decorations. I
haven't checked out the Uni pharmacy, if
I'm being honest I hadn't even considered
it. There is an onsite doctor and nurse so
I could go and see them, thanks for the
good thinking.
--
"Take a pregnancy test. Until then - stop
worrying about it."
Thank you for calming my nerves. I feel a
little steadier than I did this morning. I
just hope y'all are right!
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
Thanks: 2
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-08-07 12:32pm
Good luck. Get this over with so you can
go back to your normal life. Don't forget
to let us know the good news.
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8786 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 161
Thanked:194
Posted: 11-08-07 12:36pm
A pregnancy test does not cost that
much. I don't know what it costs in the
UK, but in the US it is less than $10.
They are accurate and taking one can
relieve A LOT of stress.
Not knowing is the worst because your mind
runs away with you. Take a pregnancy test
so you have some idea of what you are
dealing with. It really is as simple as
that.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
Thanks: 2
Thanked:0
Posted: 11-08-07 12:41pm
You know, I used to think people should
just keep a dose of Plan B in the house
for emergencies. Now I am going to
recommend that along with that, they keep
a home pregnancy test around for that same
purpose.
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8786 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 161
Thanked:194
Posted: 11-08-07 12:58pm
They would take them casually. It won't
make a difference because they wouldn't
have it when it was necessary.
Pregnancy tests expire, I think.
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unicarrie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2007 Posts: 26 Location: East Midlands, UK
Posted: 11-08-07 13:34pm
The cheapest ones here range from £11-15,
which is about $20?
Thank you all for darn well encouraging me
to go out and get a test. I get my pay
through tomorrow so am off to the local
supermarket in 10 hours.
