Single and Pregnant Forum - Im Almost 2 Months Pregnant And My Boyfriend Cant Cope


Im Almost 2 Months Pregnant And My Boyfriend Cant Cope

Medical Questions-> Health Forums -> Single and Pregnant -> Im Almost 2 Months Pregnant And My Boyfriend Cant Cope

Medical Questions

Author

Message

aoife_fennell

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 09 Nov 2007
Posts: 3
Location: Ireland,

Im Almost 2 Months Pregnant And My Boyfriend Cant Cope Posted: 11-09-07 10:10am


I am in a relationship for just over 2 years and found out I was pregnant 3 weeks ago.It was completly unplanned I have always been on the pill. It has came as a huge shock to us both.After a couple of days I accepted the fact and have grown very excited and have huge support from my family. As for my boyfriend he just cant accept it.He is convinced I have dont this unpurpose to trap him. He is depressed and is spending all his time in the bed for the last couple of weeks.At first he wanted an abortion but I said its not even an option.He says this is ruining both our lives and its not time for us yet.We are both 28 and have full time jobs I love him very much and just dont no what to do.Before this we spent every night together and were very close and since we have found out I have only seen him about 5 times. He is so different towards me emotionally.Wont tell me he loves me,not being very supportive at all.What should I do?

browngirl

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 06 Oct 2007
Posts: 188
Location: Oklahoma City, Ok USA

Posted: 11-09-07 14:28pm


If he is being supportive of you wanting to keep the baby then I personally would leave. He should respect that it is your body and you would be than who would personally have to go through the abortion. If thats not what you want then he cant make you do it. I know it might be hard on your own but it would be better on your own than with someone who doesnt support your decision.

Ingi

Supporter

Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 8428
Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,

Thanks: 121

Thanked:154

Posted: 11-09-07 14:37pm


Give him some space and time. This is a huge shock, not just for you but for him. This is not just your entire life - but his as well. Everyone takes to these things differently - and he is trying to cope with something he was not planning for at all. Just because you have already come to terms with the pregnancy, doesn't mean he would. It has been 3 weeks. Give him some time to adjust to the idea of being a father. Men take pregnancy and children way differently than women do. People forget that pregnancy is only the eensy weensy tip to the iceberg that is parenthood. The baby isn't even born yet. Then you'll have a whole other set of difficulties. Just take it one day at a time. Good luck!

aoife_fennell

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 09 Nov 2007
Posts: 3
Location: Ireland,

Thanks Posted: 11-10-07 15:23pm


So great to hear other peoples opinions. I went out to see him tonight and it was just awful. He was crying and everything.Says he cant cope with all this...Think he is really suffering depression. I love him so much and just dont no what to do or how to act anymore. I miss my relationship with him..I miss the affection the love everything..

daisydoo

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 10 Nov 2007
Posts: 1

Boy Do I Know How You Feel... Posted: 11-10-07 16:50pm


well...i am 33 single and 7 months pregnant. My fiance and i are were to be married on Nov 18, 07' until we found out we were expecting. I'll be honest he was more excited than me. After a few short weeks..he went on vacation with his dad and when he came home, he left me. I was just about four months at the time. I have been completely alone since. I have seen him once...he had to come get his clothes! I am heartbroken and torn. I want nothing more than for him to be in my life but he doesn't want to see me. He went from a very loving man...to someone i don't even know! I miss him...I wish he were here to feel our son but it will never be. So i sit and i wait for my son to be born...then i will have a man, finally! So i guess you should just move on! You can't force them to stay or even be your friend...good luck!

aoife_fennell

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 09 Nov 2007
Posts: 3
Location: Ireland,

Posted: 11-11-07 04:55am


oh my god your story is def worse than mine..You were almost married when he left? What is it with men of today?A baby surely makes more changes to our loves than it does theres? Men can be just so selfish just caught up in there own world. I have been getting a lot of morning sickness this week and MY boyfriend couldnt care less.One day this week when I tild him I wasnt well he sai "What do you expect" All he is worried about is how he feels, how sad he is and how down he is.He has not once worried about what Im going through..

Middaysun

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 15 Nov 2007
Posts: 1

Posted: 11-15-07 07:53am


The only thing you can do is just wait and try to avoid stress! my boyfriend and me were 2,5 years together, we had a long distance relationship. Baby/family has been always a topic as we are both between 36 and 40. So we never used anything, to tell the truth, we even tried it, but never happend. ...until last june, when I got pregnant. I thought it will be great news for him. But it wasnt. He was in denial, angry, sad, everything at one time..until august, then we spent several weeks together, we decided to keep the baby and he was also very emotional. Couple of weeks later he changed again, then back again and so on. On one hand he is happy an the other he says he wont give his name and that its my child, if the relationship wont work, he wont take care for the child. At the moment he is again in a kind of a denial mood. I am now 22 week pregnant, try give him space and time, but he also should know, that I am the one who needs support and tenderness now. As we almost never see eachother, I am prepaired being a single mom, as it is definitely better then having all the time ups and downs in the relationship.Some men need definitely more time, some wake up only after birth, so just let the time decide everything. They dont feel pregnancy as we feel it. Romantical reactions only exist in hollywood movies, cause al men, even in the healthiest marriage got mixed emotions when they hear, that their wife is pregnant. Sometimes even they dont know what they feel.Of course, I dont want to defend a...holes, but a certain anxiety is normal. good luck

newmommy07

Active User, Really EHEALTHy

Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Posts: 686
Location: Sparks, NV, 89434

Re: Im Almost 2 Months Pregnant And My Boyfriend Cant Cope
Posted: 11-27-07 01:23am

aoife_fennell wrote:

I am in a relationship for just over 2 years and found out I was pregnant 3 weeks ago.It was completly unplanned I have always been on the pill. It has came as a huge shock to us both.After a couple of days I accepted the fact and have grown very excited and have huge support from my family. As for my boyfriend he just cant accept it.He is convinced I have dont this unpurpose to trap him. He is depressed and is spending all his time in the bed for the last couple of weeks.At first he wanted an abortion but I said its not even an option.He says this is ruining both our lives and its not time for us yet.We are both 28 and have full time jobs
I love him very much and just dont no what to do.Before this we spent every night together and were very close and since we have found out I have only seen him about 5 times. He is so different towards me emotionally.Wont tell me he loves me,not being very supportive at all.What should I do?

Dump his ass if hes going to have sex like a big boy then he needs to handle the outcome of what sex can bring. Why should you have to be miserable and worried and stressed over him while you should be enjoying the time of your beautiful pregnancy? If he cant cope then he needs to reach out for help in any way he can and if he cant do that for you then at least for the baby. if he cant do that either then forget him, its his loss. personally i wouldnt waist time stressing on him, you will want to look back later on this and be glad you had an excellant pregnancy even if that means cutting him out during then. from the moment that baby was made it beared a soul..... keep that candle burning!