Bipolar Disorder Forum - I Need a Plan, Bp Bf Returning From Out of Town


I Need a Plan, Bp Bf Returning From Out of Town

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Angel1969

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 15

I Need a Plan, Bp Bf Returning From Out of Town Posted: 11-11-07 08:35am


I had shared in a previous post about dealing with feelings of rejection... since my bf is returning from out of town, I need a plan to deal with this without it driving me crazy. Before he left town he dr. increased his meds to 900mg Trileptal daily and 20mg Lexapro Daily,from talking to him on the phone it doesnt seem to be producing positive results. We had quite a few "discussions" before he left about his lack of enthusiasm and passion-and sex. I asked him if he wanted to continue this relationship and if he loved me, he does but gets so frustrated when I complain about it. He comes home Tuesday, I need to somehow prepare myself. Sometimes I feel very resentful that I have to find ways to cope, instead of him just seeing what this does to me and changing. I guess when I see him turn it on for other people and then go into a shell with me sometimes.. I need to do something, or we are going to go through the same cycle come Tuesday...He loves me for a few days....Slowly turns it off...I feel hurt and rejected....

BoneyardDiva

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 26 Sep 2007
Posts: 72
Location: Nunya, USA

Posted: 11-11-07 22:21pm


Have you considered leaving the relationship? If things have become a cycle of love-hurt-love again, perhaps ending things is the best idea. Otherwise, perhaps suggesting joint therapy is a good idea. BYD

Angel1969

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 15

Posted: 11-13-07 07:43am


No, not for a moment...I think he has had too many woman who truly didn't care enough to stick it out, and I love him. When he is not being distant things are wonderful. However we discussed his desire to go off his meds, I asked him to talk to his Dr. I have now learned he did'nt and has indeed been off. I asked him how long he said a week but could not remember. I am very concerned because he was vague about the symptoms he is having and he comes home today. I would rather deal with the lethargic and distant side of him on meds than risk something bad happening off meds. I wanted to discuss but he brushed me off ( working at 9:30pm) and I wont see him until the airport today..

BoneyardDiva

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 26 Sep 2007
Posts: 72
Location: Nunya, USA

Posted: 11-14-07 12:04pm


I really don't know what else to suggest. I wish you luck. Loving someone with bipolar disorder can be challenging, but it can also be very rewarding. BYD

Angel1969

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 17 Oct 2007
Posts: 15

Posted: 11-15-07 10:28am


Well things are going alright ( no Meds ) He has insomnia but an out of this world sex drive. Maybe I am being selfish..But I like this version of him. He is struggling internally but just cant put it into words for me. Is medication really neccessary? He is high successful ( on and Off meds ) But I dont know the person who was off them. He has BP 2 if that helps. I am a supersensitve person and tend to "absorb" the attitude and karma of others which is why I can dip out of site for a while with groups or freinds until I feel safe again. I am now taking ativan for anxiety and to keep me from reacting and causing friction if he goes into a down cycle. I want to stick this out, he is worth it. But I am afraid at times he overestimates my strenghts or need for physical touch and affection. Maybe that has nothing to due with Bipolar...Not sure I am pretty messed up on some fronts as well.

puzzld

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Joined: 19 Nov 2007
Posts: 188
Location: gulf coast =), USA

Posted: 11-25-07 18:14pm


i'm have bipolar 1 and my brother is bipolar 2. my brother refuses to admit he is sick and wont take his meds... even with a court order! he lives with my father and has been inventing most of his life. he can't hold down a job because he always has conflict with authority or coworkers. he rages lots and breaks doors, etc. he doesn't think he should have to work because his "work" at home is so important and vital to the world. he's 40 years old. is he functioning? going to work, eating, bathing/showering, etc. is he focused on one thing or many? it is wonderful that you are trying to figure it out. one of the best things to do is educate yourself on this condition. i have to say, though, from what i have been told, researched and my personal experiences, bipolar is a condition with no cure. and i haven't heard of many who go off meds and have a pleasant experience... however sex drive usually returns fast, at least it does for me. also, bipolar can get worse the older you get. the highs and lows become more intense each time. if he seams in an up mood, talkative, i would approach him when he's in that frame of mind. remember that it is not personal. but what you see is pretty much what you get. it takes a certain kind of person to deal with a bipolar person, even a bipolar 1 like myself. i'm sure he feels less of a man because of the sex thing. my husband knows that i am insecure because we don't have sex as often as we would like. but, if i'm being honest i do make it a point to try to get in the mood sometimes for him. bipolar people tend to not want to take their meds because the "high" is not a part of being medicated. as was the case with myself, and still is to a degree, but my lows are too destructive and dangerous. is he sure he's bipolar?

peacemaker

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 01 Dec 2007
Posts: 8
Location: Hangzhou City, Zhejiang Province, China

Re: I Need a Plan, Bp Bf Returning From Out of Town
Posted: 12-06-07 05:38am

Angel1969 wrote:

I had shared in a previous post about dealing with feelings of rejection... since my bf is returning from out of town, I need a plan to deal with this without it driving me crazy. Before he left town he dr. increased his meds to 900mg Trileptal daily and 20mg Lexapro Daily,from talking to him on the phone it doesnt seem to be producing positive results. We had quite a few "discussions" before he left about his lack of enthusiasm and passion-and sex. I asked him if he wanted to continue this relationship and if he loved me, he does but gets so frustrated when I complain about it.
He comes home Tuesday, I need to somehow prepare myself. Sometimes I feel very resentful that I have to find ways to cope, instead of him just seeing what this does to me and changing. I guess when I see him turn it on for other people and then go into a shell with me sometimes..

I need to do something, or we are going to go through the same cycle come Tuesday...He loves me for a few days....Slowly turns it off...I feel hurt and rejected....

I can understand your situation since I myself a man with bp.

If you choose a bp as your bf, congratulations! You've chosen a life of free of DEEP hurt. Becasue bp person have a soft heart who will never make others crazy or mad (I don't mean free from any tiny hurt inside of cos)

Compared with bp, normal person's heart is stronger. It means that normal person can stand more suffering and pressure than bp. (I am unwilling to admit this, but it is the truth.)

Please don't be afraid of your bf, because it is not needed at all.

If you don't love him anymore, you'd better off him right now. Anyway, in most of cases, he will "reject" you when you two meet pressure of life. You can stand the pressure, but maybe he can't.

I do beleive that your bf loves you if he says so. Because bf's emotion is weak, he / she dares not to play others' feeling!!! And I am really pround of it!!! Smile

Hope the above is helpful to you.