How to break pregnancy to my parents - lost and scared Posted: 11-13-07 23:25pm
Im 16 and my 15 year old girlfriend is 3
months pregnant, Doesnt seem that bad but
the thing is she lives 6 hours away from
me i havnt told my parents dont know how
to break it to them, They have been
telling me since i was 14 they do not want
to be grandparents at a young age. I dont
want to let them down but me and my gf
have talked it out and want to keep the
baby.
Another problem is she wants me to move
down there with her and her parents. I
have not gotten the chance to get properly
introuduced to her father. They say they
will help support the baby, but i have to
help i am more than happy to but that
would mean i would have to stop school.
I dont know what to do any more im so
confused, Lost, and Scared to tell my
parents all this they have been in the
dark i feel horrible for not telling them
but i know they are going to have a fit
and Yell and i just dont need that rite
now. I just dont know
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Verizon-y
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Posted: 11-13-07 23:28pm
Do you know why they are going to have a
fit?
Do you have any idea what your obligation
is to this future child?
Are you getting married before it is born?
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Verizon-y
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Posted: 11-13-07 23:30pm
Why did you decide to go along with your
gf on this?
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Katrinadoodle
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Posted: 11-13-07 23:33pm
Another question to add to the list:
Why would you have to stop school?
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bobojo
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Posted: 11-13-07 23:35pm
No thats why im scared to tell them i dont
know if they are going to or not.
Yes, i do Know what it is and i intend on
doing everything for it.
We have talkd about getting married we
both want to, but the thing is have to be
18 or get permisson from both parents and
i dont know if hers or mine would agree on
that...I dont like that fact it should not
be there choice.
I decided to go with her on this because I
love her, Shes honestly everything to me
and i know it can work, Its just going to
be alot of hard work to get through the
start when the baby is born.
I would have no other way of supporting
this child if i stay in school, I am in gr
11 and have thought about taking some
extra classes after school to get my gr 12
befor the baby is born, i just need
aproval from my school which i do not know
if i will get
Last edited by bobojo on 11-13-07 23:38pm; edited 1 time in total
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Tylanas
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Posted: 11-13-07 23:37pm
Again, why on EARTH would you have to stop
school? That is the dumbest decision you
can make. There are highschools all over
the country you know So go down, be with
her, keep attending school (and make sure
SHE does too! ) and work
after school and on the weekends.
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Katrinadoodle
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Posted: 11-13-07 23:39pm
Or do what I did, get enrolled in an
online school, get a full time job during
the day and do school work at night (which
I really think is the best, because you
can graduate early and you get more money)
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bobojo
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Posted: 11-13-07 23:42pm
I am making sure she still gos, Thats why
i was going to try to take these extra
classes, I am not going to let her stop
getting an education. I know i have to
finish school, But i also need to get my
head straight this is all new to me and i
am confused with what to do i know what is
important and i am going to do every thing
i can.
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bobojo
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Posted: 11-13-07 23:46pm
I agree with the online schooling and
thank you for the idea that makes that
alot easier on my mind.
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Verizon-y
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Posted: 11-13-07 23:49pm
I think he is being VERY mature about all
of this. Of course he has to stop going
to school. You cannot support a family on
part time work. He said he knows he has
to finish school.
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bobojo
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Posted: 11-13-07 23:56pm
Thank you, I have put alot of thought into
this and, I agree school is important, But
supporting my child is more important, I
am going to give the online schooling a
shot it sounds like an excellent idea if i
can work full time and do schooling at
nite. I am going to make sure my gf stays
in school, She is the most important thing
to me along with the baby and her future
is as important as ne and she doesnt
realize that she wants to take a year off
school when the baby is born, but i wish i
could get it through to her that there are
other ways than actually attending classes
to get an education
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Verizon-y
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Posted: 11-14-07 00:05am
Does she get along with her parents? If
so, maybe they could help you convince
her.
Many teen girls want to get pregnant and
have a baby to get out of continuing
school. I am very glad you are making
sure she is not one of them.
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bobojo
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Posted: 11-14-07 00:15am
Well, her and her parents have there ups
and downs, but her father trys to make her
go and she has been good so far with
attending but some days she doesnt due to
morning sickness.
I agree that is what alot of girls are
doing there are tons like that in my town,
I thought she was like that aswell when
she told me she was and that she
delibritly wanted to become pregnant, I
was disappointed she didnt talk this out
with me and i kinda felt used, But we have
talked about all this and that isnt the
case..i have made sure she has gotten my
point in how I am ok with that and that
the only thing i ask of her is to keep
attending school at the moment.
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bobojo
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Posted: 11-14-07 00:19am
I would like to thank you, for your help
and i am glad to know I can get help with
my problems here anytime. No one i have
talkd to about this is realli helpful this
is the first time that any one has made
any sense to me about it, usually i get
told how dumb i am for sticking with it.
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Verizon-y
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Posted: 11-14-07 00:28am
Believe me, if you read some of my other
posts around here, you'd know that I would
have been the first one to call you stupid
if you didn't have your act so together.
Considering how your g/f got you into this
position, and you are willing to change
your whole entire life, work full time at
jobs you don't like, plus on top of that
struggle to finish school, the very
least she can do is finish her education.
Best of luck.
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bobojo
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Posted: 11-14-07 00:42am
Thank you, I have another problem as well
that i cannot get off my mind and that is
telling my parents, My father has just
gotten out of the hospital and has a heart
problem and needs to be in a stress free
enviroment until they can find out the
cause of it, I do not want to tell them
and him end up in the hospital again i am
also honestly so afraid of how they are
going to react they are the type of people
that everything has to be perfect and I am
just so scared of what will happen if i
tell them, I do not feel like it is the
rite time, I belive they are going to just
yell at me and i do not need that right
now i am under alot of stress from this
already. I know i have to tell them I feel
terrible from keeping it from them they
have a right to know but i do know they
are not going to approve of my decisons
and i am ok with that, I know it is my
choice and I know the responsiblity I have
to take on and i am prepared to do so.
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Verizon-y
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Posted: 11-14-07 00:56am
Could you tell only your mother? I would
feel exactly as you do about upsetting
your father right now. You shouldn't have
to change your way of life right away,
because the baby is still at least 6
months away from being born.
Look, you didn't do anything wrong, here.
Your g/f did. Even after she got
pregnant, she did not have to keep the
baby. Half of all women will have had at
least one abortion in their lifetime. It
is the most common medical procedure done
in this country. Many teens who got
pregnant on purpose, when asked why they
don't terminate the pregnancy, will say,
"well it's not my baby's fault and it
wouldn't be fair."
That is just an excuse because they don't
want to admit that they WANT to be
pregnant.
If your g/f pressures you to tell your
father before you think he is healthy
enough to hear about the pregnancy, if I
were you, I would tell her that she chose
this particular time to get pregnant, not
you. If it had been up to you, you would
have waited until you finished school and
your father was in better health.
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bobojo
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Posted: 11-14-07 01:11am
I would like that, but i want to tell my
father first he is the more understanding
one and she is my Step mother not
biological and i feel as if he needs to
know befor her. I know my g/f was in the
wrong with doing that to me, I was torn
apart for a while she would actually do
that to me, her reasoning behind it all
was because she was afraid she was losing
me and wanted to keep me at any cost, that
is why i wish she would have talked to me
before but whats done is done, I know she
could have had the choice to get an
abortion, She was willing to if i felt
strongly enough against it, but i strongly
disagree with abortion and also since i
found out i was going to be a father i
have straightend out my life, before i was
addicted to drugs, drinking, and smoking,
i have gotten help with all that and have
been clean for a month now do to the fact
that I do not want my child to have a
father the way i was. She has been very
supportive in the situation i am in with
telling them and has not pressured me at
all and i thank her for that everyday she
has been the most supportive with my
choice to wait to tell them. I do not want
to wait much longer to tell them and i am
hoping soon that he will be in better
health.
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Verizon-y
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Posted: 11-14-07 01:20am
I think if you tell your dad exactly what
you just told me, he would actually be
very proud of you.
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Verizon-y
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Posted: 11-14-07 01:23am
I was raised by my dad and a step mother,
also.. She was a NIGHTMARE. Even if your
step mother is the most wonderful step mom
in the world, I agree with you that your
dad needs to know first.
Maybe at your dad's next doctor's visit
you could tag along, and ask to have a
quick word with the doctor. Tell him that
you have a situation which is highly
stressful, and you need to share it with
your dad. Ask him when he thinks your dad
will be up to hearing about it.
If it will be a long time before his next
doctor's visit, maybe you could find the
doctor's name and address and write him a
short letter about this.
So go down, be with
her, keep attending school (and make sure
SHE does too! 
) and work
after school and on the weekends.