Joined: 22 Jan 2008 Posts: 276 Location: , South Africa
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Posted: 02-04-08 04:19am
I must agree with designlady...it is a
nice holiday. I was also booked,
"Volentarily" when I turned violent once
and started beating in the kitchen
cupboards. I would stay there forever if
I could...
Uch...I hate suicidal thaughts...I just
hate the feeling. I hate it, hate it,
hate it. To top it all of, I'm feeling
like that this morning again.
The one thing that keeps running in my
mind, is "Why, if I am so desperate for
realease, have I not done it?". I always
tell my shrink..."The day that I figure
out why I can't get my self so far as to
do it, is the day I would actually do
it..."
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designlady
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 55 Location: , USA
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Re: BEEN THROUGH THIS! PLEASE READ! Posted: 02-04-08 14:38pm
designlady
wrote:
Being hospitalized for mental illness is
anything but a vacation. You lose all your
rights... especially if you are under
suicide watch. When you come in, you lose
your shoelaces, your belt, and all your
toiletries. You have no mirror, no coat
hangers, no racks. You can only shower at
a certain time, which is the only time you
can have your toiletries. If you want to
shave, you must wait until things are
going slow so a tech or nurse can be there
to watch you. You have to conform to their
schedule and one community television.
There's awful, boring activities and group
therapy about 4 times a day, except
weekends when you do nothing except count
ceiling tiles. If you get in trouble, you
may get sent to solitary confinement. If
you get out of control, they can stick you
with a shot that will knock you out for 2
days. Straight jackets are rarely used and
they rarely ever strap someone down unless
it's absolutely necessary. There's no
privacy, total boredom, and the ups and
downs that go with medication changes. You
only get to see your family for an hour in
the evenings and twice per day on the
weekend. It's awful. Thankfully, it's a
place I haven't been to in 2 years. At one
time, I was deemed a "frequent flier," as
they called it. AWFUL... (Oh, and limited
caffeine, snacks, and awful hospital food.
I always lost weight and then they would
try to tell me I was anorexic. What a
nightmare...)
No! I didn't say it was a vacation. You
read this? Were you being sarcastic? It's
horrible! I never want to be back in a
mental ward ever again. I couldn't focus
on getting better because I was
concentrating on wanting to get out and
see my kids. Also, being around others
like me was not good for me either. Almost
like a "toxic" atmosphere.
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Seraph
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2008 Posts: 276 Location: , South Africa
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Posted: 02-05-08 03:43am
Hmmm...brain fog. My appologies
I guess what I was saying is I prefer to
be there cus I can "zone out" and just
ignore life. Just as good as being dead.
