Joined: 14 Nov 2007 Posts: 14 Location: Connecticut, US
I Guess...this Place Couldn't Hurt? Posted: 11-14-07 21:16pm
Hi...so lets just say for discussions sake
my name is paul atreides
I'm 18, male, and I live in connecticut
I don't "have no friends" but since I've
made the transition from high school to
college, I don't really have any close
friends. Like no one I could really talk
to about anything, and I don't feel
comfortable talking about stuff like this
around my parents...
I somewhat recently got out of a long
relationship, lets just say it didn't end
well, and I've been looking to get back in
a relationship. I've been single about 3
months now...but I have to say...whenever
I don't give my mind something to focus
on, it is constantly, and I mean
CONSTANTLY focusing on getting in a
relationship with someone
I'm constantly feeling miserable, and
down, like there's no point in living
I also recently just met a girl who
basically flipped my world upside down,
and when I talk to her, I seem to forget
every trouble I have, I want to date her,
but long story short, she just won't be in
a relationship right now
Ever since I've heard that from her, I've
been even worse then usual...I've felt so
empty, so...worthless
I guess if I'm asking anything...it's how
can I get over this?
I don't even know if anyone will read
this, I probably wouldn't, but if anyone
has any advice at all (besides the whole
you're young and have the rest of your
life ahead of you stuff) please...I would
do anything to get myself out of this
horrible horrible funk...
I guess...idk
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CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2396
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
Dear Foolsparadise Posted: 11-15-07 00:42am
Sometimes it just is not the right person.
And it may take awhile for you to realize
that. You did not say who broke up with
who, but by your post I reading it was
you. Is this right?
If I were you, I would just ponder your
feelings for awhile. You sound like you
are ready for a serious relationship and
future lasting. You have to start getting
out and meeting people and do things to
get your mind on other things. Who know's
you may even meet Ms. Right. Broken
relationships will always be depressing no
matter who you are. Us woman even take it
worse. For some, being alone is the worse
thing in the world to them. Others choose
just to stay free.
Let me tell you a little something about
me. And this will tell you alot. I knew my
third husband for 12 years before I
married him. He was married at the time
and realized he wanted to be with me. We
spent every moment we could together for
the 7 years we were intimate. We married
on March 1st 1997. We seperated 8 times
along the way. We were married for just
over a year. It just did not work out and
he was not the same man I knew before I
married him.
So you see, nothing is what it seems to be
sometimes. Don't get depressed. There is
someone out there that you can spend the
rest of you life with I am sure. I even
still could be this same lady.
Give this girl her space and let her come
to you. Sounds like your going to have to
gradually work you way into her life.
Carrie
Thoughts Anyone?
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marvel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 1104 Location: Toronto, Ontario (but only a private message away)
Thanks: 50
Thanked:8
Posted: 11-15-07 01:02am
I agree, MsSky!
It's a somewhat unfortunate reality that
you can't force things to happen when they
simply won't budge. You have to adapt to
who you encounter and what happens in your
life. Since you can't make this girl want
to be in a relationship, you have to
preserve yourself and learn when to back
off or even let go for a little while at
least. You also can't invest your sense of
worth in one person. That almost always
ends tragically. And, yes, definitely get
out there and meet more people... don't be
afraid to hang out with people who you get
a long with... get personal with them....
this is how good, long lasting friendships
last. They'll also give you support when
you need it... and it seems like that's
what you need right now.
Never be afraid to Private Message me (or
MsSky either, I'm sure!).
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FoolsParadise
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2007 Posts: 14 Location: Connecticut, US
Posted: 11-15-07 17:05pm
I appreciate the responses...I really just
kinda wanna get over this girl, but I have
no idea how to go about doing that...aside
from just completely cutting her out of my
life, and though I really think that would
be the best way for me, I don't wanna be a
!@#$head and do that to someone, I have no
idea how to go about doin any of this
and yeah the last relationship I ended
after she cheated on me =/
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lonestarguy
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 592 Location: , Hoosierland, USA
Thanks: 10
Thanked:1
Posted: 11-15-07 17:43pm
Okay Dune Boy.....I agree with the others
that life makes it difficult for all
relationships to start or even proceed the
way you want....It's tragic since you felt
this might the "One".....But it may not be
in the cards, so it is important that you
get out there and meet new
people....Sometimes before you can get a
lasting relationship, you need to become
friends first....Be patient, you're still
young and you have time to meet many new
friends....Don't force things too much
because then you may alienate her
forever...I can't add anything to what
MsSky and Marvel said....I have been
married for almost 32 years and we are
still best friends....Good luck to you.
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CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2396
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
Posted: 11-15-07 17:48pm
The best way I can explain it is, it feels
like someone is ripping part of you heart
right out of you chest. It hurt like heck.
There have been two men in my life that I
can actually say I have yet to get over. I
have put it behind me, but not gotton
over. Only time heals wounds, even if just
partially.
Carrie
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FoolsParadise
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2007 Posts: 14 Location: Connecticut, US
Posted: 11-15-07 18:06pm
oooh how wonderful, someone caught the
dune reference, that made me smile :p
aaaaaaaaaayeeee yeah...time heals all
things hahahah that is a DUMB rule,
>.> there should just be something
you can do instead of waiting
well thanks for the advice everyone, I'll
take it to heart
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CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2396
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
Posted: 11-15-07 18:09pm
Well maybe not all wounds.
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haleymarie423
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2007 Posts: 7 Location: ,
Posted: 11-15-07 18:13pm
maybe you should see a doctor. a
girlfriend or boyfriend should never have
that much weight on how you feel about
yourself or lyour life. You sound super
depressed. Maybe medication would help
you? Good luck.
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FoolsParadise
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2007 Posts: 14 Location: Connecticut, US
Posted: 11-16-07 15:14pm
haleymarie, I think I might agree with ya
I actually met with the girl today who has
been so much on my mind, and we talked for
a while, nothin is ever gonna happen
between us, I can see that clear as day,
but it's kinda cool I'm like, in some kind
of zen mood or something cause I'm
actually feelin okay about it
as I was waitin for my ride to come get
me, I got a peppermint mocha from
starbucks, which was worth every penny,
and idk I was just thinkin and I was
actually okay with it, which is so weird
for me...thinkin about her still gives me
like a pang of sadness, but not anything
like what it was only a day ago
now I got some nice music playin, and I'm
goin out later with a friend, and most
importantly of all I'm gettin some
buffallo wings tonight lol
MsSky I saw what you said in that other
thread about me and the other person
gettin back here and talkin and maybe it
sounds lame or whatever it made me smile,
I think I'll stick around this place
I was thinkin about maybe making a thread
or something for like people to post any
screenames they have or whatever for like
maybe AIM, facebook, myspace, etc, might
be an interesting way to meet new people
if anyones interested, on AIM, my
screename is IXI Atreides IXI I think
I'd like to start expanding my friend
base, and if there was anythin I could
help people with I wouldn't mind like
talkin and stuff....especailly if there
are any cute girls near me in
connecticut...lmao
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CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2396
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
Foolsparadise Posted: 11-16-07 15:21pm
You are too funny. Nice idea trading IM's.
I personally stopped using mine. I may
just download AIM again. Me gonna think
about it. Did you know that it takes less
muscles to smile then it does to frown?
Just a piece of trivia for ya.
Hugs,
Carrie
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FoolsParadise
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2007 Posts: 14 Location: Connecticut, US
Posted: 11-16-07 15:45pm
well if you do, feel free to pester me =]
lol
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lonestarguy
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 592 Location: , Hoosierland, USA
Thanks: 10
Thanked:1
Posted: 11-16-07 15:47pm
That one made me smile, Carrie.
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meblonde01
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 2131 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:2
Posted: 11-16-07 15:47pm
FoolsParadise
wrote:
well if you do, feel free to
pester me =]
lol
I sent you a Private message..
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CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2396
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
Posted: 11-16-07 15:52pm
meblonde01
wrote:
FoolsParadise
wrote:
well if you do, feel free to
pester me =]
lol
I sent you a Private
message..
Hi lonestarguy: How goes it? Doing well I
hope. Ya better be if ya know whats good
fer ya.
meblonde01: On my way to PM now.
Fruitcake Carrie
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lonestarguy
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 592 Location: , Hoosierland, USA
Thanks: 10
Thanked:1
Posted: 11-16-07 16:03pm
Carrie MsSky: As you can see in my
picture, just listening to music and
watching "After The Thin Man." Doing very
well.
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Mike East Texas
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2007 Posts: 118 Location: Conroe, TX Montgomery
a Real Guy Tip Posted: 11-24-07 01:07am
When I was in college, there were girls
who liked me. But, they didn't find me
interesting. Until they saw me with other
girls. They started to wonder, what have I
missed? Did I over look something about
this guy? Why is she interested in him?
They get curious. From curious, comes
interest.
Then your value on the market gets
completely reevaluated.
Talk to as many girls as possible. They
may not be interested in you either. But,
others girls don't know that.
You may intice the girl you want. If not,
you may find somebody that will make you
forget her.
