Worried about mom's drinking Posted: 11-21-07 14:59pm
i am worried about my mum, she is always
drinking alcohol, she will get in from
work at 3:30 ish an will start drinking
then she will often have a bottle of wine
or more a night and it seems when she
starts drinking she cant stop. if we go
shopping she always wants to go to the pub
for dinner and has to have a drink, ive
told her i am worried about her and that i
think she has a problem but she just tells
me to shut up and because she doesnt drink
in a morning she doesnt have a problem,
but its getting too much and i dont know
how much more i can take i want to leave
home but im scared if i do she will drink
more and more because im not here. last
year we went on holiday in april and july
she brought back 5 litres of booze
(vodka,brandy,whisky) and then i went away
in august with my bf and we brought her 3
litres of whisky (supposed to be for xmas)
but by november she had drunk the lot, i
also know she had bought spirits inbetween
and hides the empty bottles under her bed.
please can someone give me some advice.
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CarolDiane
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Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2225 Location: Finally a picture to a name,
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She Is Not Ready to Admit Posted: 11-21-07 15:10pm
You have tried the first step which is
family intervention and she obviously got
into a denial about it. Unfortunatly,
untill the alcholic comes to grips with
the fact that they do have a drinking
problem there really is nothing more you
can do. Just do not give up on her. Keep
lovingly trying to remind her how much you
love her and are conserned about her
drinking. Intervention does not always
work the first few times. Everyone is
different and what it takes them to reach
what we call "rock bottom". All I can
advise you to do is not to argue of fight
with her but, keep letting her know your
concerns and love. Otherwise she will
think that you don't care and we don't
want that to happen. You have a hard deck
to deal here and it ain't going to be
easy. But, keep you streangh and you love
showing. That is what will eventually
bring her to rock bottom. Some have to get
so sick and even hospitalized to realize
how big the problem is. Keep you chin up.
I wish you the best and know we am here
for you,
Carrie
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worried_chick
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2007 Posts: 5
Worried Posted: 11-21-07 15:14pm
thank you i have been living with this for
over a year and it is really getting to me
i am depressed beacuse of it and she
doesnt seem to care bout that she is
making me ill i even thought of goin to
the doc and tellin them but there wont b
owt they can do
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CarolDiane
Moderator
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2225 Location: Finally a picture to a name,
Thanks: 87
Thanked:126
I Have Empathy For You Posted: 11-21-07 15:21pm
My mom is right now 14 years sober. We
tried everything. She went to 30 day
rehab, came out and started drinking
again. In 1993 she had a grand mal seizure
and that was her rock bottom. She has not
touched a drink since. You can imagine how
I felt having worked in the field and not
being able to help my own mother get
sober. It was a hard road and I also was
ill and depressed. But, I look back now
and think of the Serenity Prayer.
God, grant me the serenity to except the
things I can not change,
The courage to change the things that I
can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Keep that prayer in mind. It will help you
through this.
Carrie
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Inferior_Decorator
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2007 Posts: 12
Help Is Out There Posted: 11-22-07 10:08am
Worried_Chick,
I'm sorry for your troubles....been there
done that. MsCarrie's wise words are very
true, this addiciton of your mother's is
her's as will be her recovery which she
hopefully comes to one day.
In the mean time, help is out there for
you. There are various support groups you
can contact online or within your area.
Al-anon is one of the most popular. It's
a group formed by the loved ones and
families of alcoholics....thier program is
modelled after the AA 12 step program.
I'm not sure if I'll get my fingers
slapped for posting a link in here, but
I'll take the chance. Al-anon can be
found at http://www.al-anon.a
lateen.org/english.html Check the
site out, at least to know that you're not
alone in this.
Much luck in your journey, it's going to
be rough, but not impossible to overcome.
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CarolDiane
Moderator
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2225 Location: Finally a picture to a name,
Thanks: 87
Thanked:126
Re: Worried Posted: 11-22-07 14:29pm
worried_chick
wrote:
thank you i have been living
with this for over a year and it is really
getting to me i am depressed beacuse of it
and she doesnt seem to care bout that she
is making me ill i even thought of goin to
the doc and tellin them but there wont b
owt they can do
Believe it or not, she has no clue she is
making you ill. The only thing an alcholic
thinks about is the next drink. Yes, she
loves you. But, you have to understand
that she is not herself. Never think that
she does not care about the way you feel.
She is in total denial right now and there
is nothing anyone can do. She has got to
be the one to come out of this with your
unconditional love and help.
My thoughts are with you more then you
know.
Carrie
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