My boyfriend is twenty and lives at home
with his mom and two younger siblings. I'm
away at college so the only time he and I
talk is over the phone. For two years he
went to another state for a summer job
where he saved a lot of money. Here at
home he has been unemployed for a long
time and I've brought up employment
multiple times. I know he's got money, but
for some reason I can't stand it that he
just doesn't work. Finally I got fed up
and said if he didn't have a steady job by
my winter break, then I'm done. I love him
but I need to know he will work!
And why wouldn't he just get a job if I
say it's important to me?
Anyways, he told me he got a job so aside
from asking how work was every now and
then I dropped the subject-- remember, I'm
hours away, so all I have is his word and
I trust him. The problem is when I came
home for my break, my older sister and mom
sat me done and told me that his mom said
he quit within the first week (our mom's
work at the same school so sometimes their
paths cross). The problem is I don't know
if I can trust his mom-- she's lied
before. My boyfriend doesn't talk to her,
and he could really be working and she
doesn't know.
How do I talk about this with my
boyfriend? He's never lied to me but he
also never talks about work and whenever I
ask how work was he drops the subject fast
enough by saying "work is work". When my
sister and mom talked to me, all I could
say to counter anything was, I trust him.
And the look they both gave me made me
feel like an fool. Is it stupid to just
trust him on this? The job he says he's at
now he doesn't work that many hours, would
I be out of place to ask him to work more?
Am I being stupid for wanting my guy to
show some initiative? How can I feel more
secure in his employment situation without
making him feel like I can't trust him?
Thanks
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ladyT02
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2007 Posts: 237 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:3
Posted: 11-25-07 16:52pm
My boyfriend lived wit his mom, dad, and 3
siblings after he came back from the
military. He was working an ok job but it
wasn't enuf to pay all his bills and help
his family out at the same time. So when
he moved in with me he started looking for
a better job. I supported him cause I knew
he was going thru a new transition and he
couldn't pay rent but I saw he was set on
getting a job so that's why I don't
complain. You should deffinately advice
your gut to find a job, to put more effort
into it. Cause if you don't you.ll start
feeling the stress.
And if you keep it bottled up he.ll jus
start mooching off you.
