Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1206 Location: New York, NY United States
Thanks: 28
Thanked:8
When He's Away Posted: 11-23-07 18:13pm
Mike and I went to visit our families for
Thanksgiving, so we were about 250 miles
away for the past two days, and won't be
home together again until tomorrow.
Last night, I had this TERRIBLE nightmare.
I'd even be willing to call it a night
terror (long story, but it consisted of a
stranger, rape, and homicide). I only
woke up because I was screaming in real
life and it snapped me out of my dream to
wake me.
I was thinking about it, and I noticed
that since we've been living together,
there has been 3 times we have left each
other and slept apart. Literally every
one of these three times, I have had an
intense nightmare like this. It's never
necessarily about the same thing, but its
always a really bad one.
I miss him a whole lot, but it's not like
I'm overly clingy or freak out when we are
apart for a few days since I know we'll
always be back together again.
Do you think it is coincidence that I am
having my nightmares when we are apart, or
do you think there is a reason for it?
Has this ever happened to anyone else?
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 11-23-07 18:17pm
YES
me and travis have been together for a
year almost (in 7 days!!!)
and lived together for 11 months.
we have spent only ONE night apart (he
decided to leave and drive to houston 4
hrs away to go to a party at his friends
house at 10 pm he left and i didnt want to
go OR want him to go...but he did )
anyways that night i stayed up until 4am
crying and mad and sad that he would
leave
it scared me
it was our first night apart
that night i fell asleep around 4 and woke
up at 5 30 sweating and shakeing. i went
downstairs to get some water
i dont remember the entire dream but i do
remember bits and pieces from it, that he
called and he wasnt comming back.
|
PenguinsRus
Supporter
Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1206 Location: New York, NY United States
Thanks: 28
Thanked:8
Posted: 11-23-07 18:22pm
I'm glad I'm not the only one this happens
to!
I'm thinking maybe its a subconscious
thing that my mind knows he is gone when
he never is so its looking for support and
care somewhere and giving me nightmares so
I can find that support?
Stupid mind. Why can't it be the other
way around and I have the nightmares when
he is here to comfort me? haha.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 11-23-07 18:31pm
yeah i think thats what it may be too
when your sad or stressed dreams are a way
for your body to react to that. the mind
is a very powerful thing.
i think the nightmares are because you
DONT WANT to be alone. and you miss him so
much. it triggers the nightmares because
hes not there with you.
i know how it feels to have to be alone in
a bed at night stareing at the space where
the person you love more than ever is
supposed to be laying.
when does he come home?
|
PenguinsRus
Supporter
Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1206 Location: New York, NY United States
Thanks: 28
Thanked:8
Posted: 11-23-07 18:37pm
We both go home tomorrow night (right now
I'm in PA visiting my parents, and he's in
CT visiting his. We live together in NY).
We get in at about 10 pm. We planned it
so our buses get in at the same time.
I can't wait to be back in his arms. It's
hard being away when you are so used to
spending every night with someone.
It's important and good to visit family
and it's good we don't forget about them
and the importance of it and all, but damn
do I miss him.
We usually try to visit our families
together (go to his parents house a
weekend out of one month, and mine a
weekend out of the next, etc), but this
time we couldn't do it since our families
really wanted us there for their own
Thanksgivings.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 11-23-07 18:41pm
as much as it hurts its probably good to
be apart as well.
sometimes you need that
i know it would hurt me a whole bunch to
go to my moms and leave travis for a
weekend but someday it might have to
happen just so we can get away. ya know?
its not good to be togtether ALL the time
lol
|
PenguinsRus
Supporter
Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1206 Location: New York, NY United States
Thanks: 28
Thanked:8
Posted: 11-23-07 18:47pm
Yeah, exactly. That's why I know its good
and all. You need to be away sometimes to
be able to appreciate being together.
I mean, we aren't together 24/7. I go to
college and I work. He is gone 10 hours a
day (8 hours for work and 1 hour commute
on each end). We sometimes go and hang
out with friends and have girls night
out/boys night out and little things like
that.
I think I'm just not used to 3 days at a
time. It's hard. I shouldn't be
complaining though since I know that so
many people have it MUCH worse, like those
with husbands in the military. It must be
so hard on them.
but ugh I miss him. haha. I think having
it be on our anniversary too was another
thing that made it hurt a bit more. Who
spends their anniversary apart when they
live together?
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 11-23-07 18:53pm
yeah 3 days is a loooong time lol
|
browngirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 188 Location: Oklahoma City, Ok USA
Posted: 11-23-07 21:40pm
I know how you feel honey. I had lived
with my husband for a year and never spent
a night without him. In July I went back
home (17,000 miles away) and I was there
for 5 days. I missed him more than
anything and to make all matters worse I
got something like five or six total hours
of sleep the whole time I was there. It
was so great to be home. Then to make all
matters come back to life I went back home
about a month ago to go be in my sister's
wedding and see the family I hadn't seen
in over a year and a half. It was really
hard to be away from him even more then
because we had just gotten married 20 days
before I left to go. When I was at the
wedding I was very happy for them but the
whole time I couldn't think of anything
except how bad I wished he was there with
me. I have grown to appreciate him more
and more every time I go back home without
him. As hard as it is it really does make
our relationship stronger. As it will
yours too.
I hope that everyone has the happiness
that we do. We actually spend almost all
of our time together, because we work
together and live together. So the only
time we are apart is when I go back home
without him. But it hasn't cause any
problems with us or anything. Its really
great and has worked out well for us. At
only 19 I am happier in my life than I
ever thought that I would be.
|
love_pinkish
Supporter
Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 711 Location: Hot, LA USA
Thanks: 5
Thanked:14
Posted: 11-23-07 21:45pm
the_girlfriend
wrote:
YES
we have spent only ONE night apart (he
decided to leave and drive to houston 4
hrs away to go to a party at his friends
house at 10 pm he left and i didnt want to
go OR want him to go...but he did )
What part of texas are you from? My
fiance is from Orange, TX.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 11-23-07 21:46pm
im in austin texas
|
love_pinkish
Supporter
Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 711 Location: Hot, LA USA
Thanks: 5
Thanked:14
Posted: 11-23-07 21:47pm
cool!! just curious.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 11-23-07 21:59pm
yeayuhhhh
texas is the $*it lol
|
haille
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2007 Posts: 81
Re: When He's Away Posted: 11-25-07 09:44am
PenguinsRus
wrote:
Mike and I went to visit our
families for Thanksgiving, so we were
about 250 miles away for the past two
days, and won't be home together again
until tomorrow.
Last night, I had this TERRIBLE nightmare.
I'd even be willing to call it a night
terror (long story, but it consisted of a
stranger, rape, and homicide). I only
woke up because I was screaming in real
life and it snapped me out of my dream to
wake me.
I was thinking about it, and I noticed
that since we've been living together,
there has been 3 times we have left each
other and slept apart. Literally every
one of these three times, I have had an
intense nightmare like this. It's never
necessarily about the same thing, but its
always a really bad one.
I miss him a whole lot, but it's not like
I'm overly clingy or freak out when we are
apart for a few days since I know we'll
always be back together again.
Do you think it is coincidence that I am
having my nightmares when we are apart, or
do you think there is a reason for it?
Has this ever happened to anyone
else?
I'm no psychologist. However, is it
possible that your subconscience is
reflecting your insecurities about being
alone through these horrible nightmares?
Some people believe that dreams have no
validity. I agree, to some extend.
However, I do believe that dreams,
although not all, are messages from our
subconscious selves. The usually help us
to face fears or acknowledge fears we
would otherwise deny on a conscious
level.
Hence, perhaps you should ask yourself if
you are afraid to be alone. Did you have
a traumatic experience in the past when
you were left alone.
It is possible that you did and
consciously buried it, while your
subconscience brings it back up every time
you are left alone.
Just a theory....
|
PenguinsRus
Supporter
Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1206 Location: New York, NY United States
Thanks: 28
Thanked:8
Posted: 11-25-07 11:52am
It is an interesting theory. As far as I
can remember though, I was never afraid of
being alone. In fact, growing up I was
always independent. My dad was an
alcoholic/drug addict, and my mom didn't
know how to handle it and she fell apart
all the time, so I had to take care of her
constantly and at the same time try to
figure out ways to handle him. I was
pretty much all grown up by the age of 8.
Maybe that backfires and now that I have
something stable it makes me scared
subconsciously to be away from it? I'm
not sure.
We are back together now. Falling asleep
next to him again last night felt better
than Christmas.
|
haille
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2007 Posts: 81
I'm Glad Posted: 11-25-07 14:28pm
PenguinsRus
wrote:
It is an interesting theory.
As far as I can remember though, I was
never afraid of being alone. In fact,
growing up I was always independent. My
dad was an alcoholic/drug addict, and my
mom didn't know how to handle it and she
fell apart all the time, so I had to take
care of her constantly and at the same
time try to figure out ways to handle him.
I was pretty much all grown up by the age
of 8.
Maybe that backfires and now that I have
something stable it makes me scared
subconsciously to be away from it? I'm
not sure.
We are back together now. Falling asleep
next to him again last night felt better
than Christmas.
I am indeed happy for you that he has
return next to you.
In the future, remember, all of us have
those really disturbing dreams. Just take
deep breaths and rely on your independence
to get you through it.
You'll calm down in time, which you
probably know by now.
)
