Abortion Debate Forum - Abortion And Then Children?


Abortion And Then Children?

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Dannzibelle

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Abortion And Then Children? Posted: 11-26-07 15:15pm


This is just something that has always interested me. If you have had an abortion in the past and then went on to have children how did you feel? I just wonder because if it was me then i presume i would feel some kind of guilt even if i knew that i'd aborted for the best. Anyone got a story?

Emma21

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Posted: 11-26-07 15:28pm


I had one long ago and when I had my son I did feel a little guilty but not much more than that because It was the right thing to do at the time. As you get older your feelings start to change and feel more compassion.

Jincks013

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Posted: 11-26-07 23:02pm


I had one and my youngest daughter a year and a half later. I have no regrets: I had no regrets then nor now. I made a logical fact based choice to gestate my youngest daughter knowing it had a high potential to kill me and that was the most miserable pregnancy I have ever endured!! Making that choice was the worst time I've ever had in my life. So I ask you.. how do you look into the face of your five year old daughter and tell her that she might be an orphan? How do you explain to her that her little sister might kill you? Don't play semantics with me. You have no idea what you speak of.

Birch

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Posted: 11-26-07 23:54pm


Uh, Jincks, uh...did you mean that last part of your post? I mean, that "semantics" part. I didn't get the impression Dani was trying to toss up a salad here or something...

Verizon-y

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Re: Abortion And Then Children?
Posted: 11-27-07 00:19am

Dannzibelle wrote:

This is just something that has always interested me. If you have had an abortion in the past and then went on to have children how did you feel? I just wonder because if it was me then i presume i would feel some kind of guilt even if i knew that i'd aborted for the best. Anyone got a story?

I had an abortion in college and now I am married and I have a child. I am GRATEFUL that I was able to abort, because I was able to do the things in life that I wanted to do,
like:
finish college
see the world
have a fun career
make and save money, etc., etc.

I wasn't ready to have a child until after I was married and became emotionally and financially equipped. Now I have the child I always wanted, and I wouldn't change a thing.

To be able to understand my frame of mind, you'd have to understand how I view this whole topic. For example, I don't consider an embryo to be much different from the sperm and egg which became that embryo. Most sperm and eggs die before they become people, and most embryos (90%*) also die before they become people. (This number has NOTHING to do with abortion. It is natural embryo loss including miscarriages and fertilized eggs which do not implant.) The majority of abortions involve embryos, not fetuses, because they take place before 8 weeks of pregnancy.**

I do, however, value later term fetuses, and if I were to lose a pregnancy that far along, it would be devastating. There is a world of difference between an early embryo and a later term fetus, and I place much more value on the latter than the former.

*Chromosome abnormalities are the commonest cause of death in humans. They kill at the very minimum two-thirds of potential humans, more likely 80 to 90 percent and they mostly do so through these lethal aneuploidies.

**60 percent of abortions occur before 8 weeks of gestation, and 88 percent of abortions are performed before the 13th week of gestation. (Interesting embryological note: at 8 weeks a fetus is 0.63 inches long and weighs 0.04 ounces;

Dannzibelle

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Posted: 11-27-07 06:10am

Jincks013 wrote:

I had one and my youngest daughter a year and a half later. I have no regrets: I had no regrets then nor now. I made a logical fact based choice to gestate my youngest daughter knowing it had a high potential to kill me and that was the most miserable pregnancy I have ever endured!!
Making that choice was the worst time I've ever had in my life. So I ask you.. how do you look into the face of your five year old daughter and tell her that she might be an orphan? How do you explain to her that her little sister might kill you?
Don't play semantics with me. You have no idea what you speak of.

I wasn't trying to upset you it's just something i've wondered about just like when someone gives a child up for adoption and then has a child they keep. Some people never see an U/S pic before they abort so i was wondering if at 12weeks when they do have an U/S with the wantede pregnancy if they though about the previous pregnancy and felt any guilt or not

Jincks013

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Posted: 11-27-07 07:32am


I would imagine some do have feelings of guilt; some don't. Personalities and personal experience would figure in. I never regretted my abortion anymore then I regretted having my girls. Some might; but for me the answer is no. I have no residual emotion after abortion then having my youngest daughter.

nightangel73

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Posted: 11-28-07 21:02pm

Jincks013 wrote:

So I ask you.. how do you look into the face of your five year old daughter and tell her that she might be an orphan? How do you explain to her that her little sister might kill you?
Don't play semantics with me. You have no idea what you speak of.

How do you know you will be alive tomorrow? In spite of what you did there is no assurance that she will never be orphan, yet there is no assurance neither that your daughter will be alive tomorrow. Having seeing my brother die at 33 I can tell you that you don't know what you speak of.

nightangel73

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Posted: 11-28-07 21:10pm

Dannzibelle wrote:

Jincks013 wrote:

Anyone who had an abortion will not want to feel guilt for what they have done. So as you read the thought process is dehumanizing the embryo/fetus so they can live with what they have done. Yikes I wouldn't like to live the rest of my life knowing that I killed someone..

Tylanas

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Posted: 11-28-07 21:55pm


You didn't kill someone. You killed a human fetus. It is not a PERSON, it is not an independent being, so you have no reason to feel guilty. When you can prove it is a person and an independent being then your cause might have ground to stand on.

preciouschild

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?? Posted: 11-28-07 21:58pm


Fyi, you do kill a human fetus! It becomes a person at 8 days old, therefore you should be guilty! How can you say that it's not a person? If it is not a person than what are you giving birth to? Tissue?

Tylanas

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Re: ??
Posted: 11-28-07 22:13pm

preciouschild wrote:

Fyi,
you do kill a human fetus! It becomes a person at 8 days old,

Medical proof? At 8 days gestation, the zygote hasn't even implanted in the uterus yet. How on earth is that a living, breathing, independent, thinking, eating PERSON? It's not.

Quote:

therefore you should be guilty! How can you say that it's not a person? If it is not a person than what are you giving birth to? Tissue?

You are confusing gestation and personhood.

Let me tell you my views on gestation, independence and abortion.

In early pregnancy, a zygote/embryo/fetus (zef) is 100% dependent on the woman's body for everything. Not only does her body nourish it and keep it safe, but it literally cannot live if taken from her. Thus, it is not an independent being in any way shape or form.

As the zef develops, it slowly becomes more able to survive outside of the mother's body. It becomes more independent. At around 27 weeks, modern science can save more than 50% of premature babies born, and so I consider this the Point of Viability. At this point the fetus could be an independent being IF born, thus, it now has a right to life as any independent being does. That means no "social abortions" (ones done for non-medical reasons like "i don't have the money).

However, there are cases where the mother is in danger or the fetus is severely deformed; in these cases obviously abortion is used to save the mother's life or to mercifully kill the fetus that would die anyway due to deformities. Because it is HER body, she has the right to "defend" herself. If the fetus would cause her to die it is exactly like a criminal holding a gun to her head: in self defense, she has the right to kill that criminal.

Still, I believe that after Viability, "social abortions" should not be legal: and the laws in America happen to agree with me right now.

nightangel73

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Posted: 11-28-07 22:18pm

Eiri wrote:

You didn't kill someone.

Tylanas

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Posted: 11-28-07 23:14pm

nightangel73 wrote:

Eiri wrote:

You didn't kill someone.

You know I meant that in direct context to the way you worded your post:
YOU- "I couldn't live with myself knowing I killed someone."
ME- "You didn't."

meblonde01

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Posted: 11-29-07 08:23am


I had an abortion and I felt. That I gave up my chance in having a child by killing it.. and I in return never had children.

Verizon-y

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Re: ??
Posted: 11-29-07 10:14am

preciouschild wrote:

Fyi,
you do kill a human fetus! It becomes a person at 8 days old, therefore you should be guilty! How can you say that it's not a person? If it is not a person than what are you giving birth to? Tissue?

rofl! This is a new one! What happens on day 8 that grants personhood?

P.S. Happy Birthday preciouschild, I see by your profile that you just turned 14. Smile

Tylanas

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Posted: 11-29-07 10:45am

meblonde01 wrote:

I had an abortion and I felt. That I gave up my chance in having a child by killing it.. and I in return never had children.

Well that's your choice. Many women - in fact, the majority of women who abort - do not feel that way. My mother was one of them. She has two wonderful children, my brother an I.

meblonde01

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Posted: 11-29-07 12:15pm

Eiri wrote:

meblonde01 wrote:

I had an abortion and I felt. That I gave up my chance in having a child by killing it.. and I in return never had children.

Well that's your choice. Many women - in fact, the majority of women who abort - do not feel that way. My mother was one of them. She has two wonderful children, my brother an I.

I never said it wan't anyones choice.. I simple answered her question! And even if the majority do have children.. Some don't! Everyone is different.

Kypros

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Posted: 11-29-07 12:57pm


Eiri, humanhood is personhood. The sooner pro-choicers read these definition in a dictionary and avoid neologisms the better.

Tylanas

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Posted: 11-29-07 13:04pm

Kypros wrote:

Eiri, humanhood is personhood. The sooner pro-choicers read these definition in a dictionary and avoid neologisms the better.

No it is not. My toenail is human. It is NOT a person. The sooner pro-life understands the difference, the better.