I am writing today because I need some
advice in how to handle better my best
friend's disease. She has been bulimic
for the past 2.5 years. She is a
beautiful, intelligent, 23 year old girl,
who suffered child sexual abuse for 10
years of her life. She is very aware of
her condition, and she knows a lot about
the reasons why bulimia seems as a good
way out.However, I fear that the
'temporary control' that the disease
provides, will eventually control her.
She has more positive episodes than
negative ones, to tell the truth, but
still, every time she is faced with some
sort of stressful situations in which is
out of her hands, she binges and or
purges.
We live in the same house, we are best
friends and very honest with each other.
She never hides any episode, and I don't
ask anything unless she comes first and
let me know about it. I usually leave it
up to her to decide what to get for the
house as far as groceries are concerned.
Not much, actually. She prefers keeping
the fridge less full even if it's healthy
food. Junks have no place at our house,
but as u know, that doesnt mean much,
because if she feels threaten, she will go
out and get them.
I am very supportive, understanding, and I
am really determined to help her through
this. However, even though I learn a lot
from the whole situation on how to deal
with her, I still don't know how to handle
well when she is feeling down due to
binging. I feel so bad for her, and I
want to confort her, but she is always
very moody in those situations. It's hard
on me because it really affects me. Her
self esteem is so damaged, she sees
herself totally unworth of any support
when she has a negative episode. It's
tough! Even if I try to help her focus on
how she is feeling other than the behavior
itself, sometimes I get discouraged due to
her strong personality. She has this
belief in her mind that she is bad, she
has always being bad. And of course I
understand where this comes from, but I
feel I want to do something to boost her
self esteem. She is a wonderful human
being, but it's very hard for her to see
other than what the outside shows.
I try to respect her decisions, but I want
to be able to cope better, because I want
to be usefull, and more important, I want
to see her out of this cycle! I just feel
I need some help in order to support my
best friend. I love her a lot, and I want
to see her happy. So, please, if you have
any comments or advice at all, it will be
much appreciated.
Take care,
nina
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 04-17-04 13:12pm
Are there any eating disorder support
groups near you (maybe at a health centre
or college or look in the phone book under
eating disorders or ask a dr) that she
could go to & which might have a
family/friends group that you could
attend(even if she doesn't go you
could).
Basically though the best thing you can do
is encourage her to seek help of some
type.
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HLFOLKNER
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Aug 2004 Posts: 29 Location: arkansas
Posted: 08-24-04 20:49pm
You are a great friend to stand by her.
My best friends was always my rock when I
got bad. My therapist always told me
bulemia was not just about loosing weight.
It is about control. Your friend went
thru a very traumatic event with the
sexual abuse. With the bulemia she has
complete control of her body. No one else
can take that control from her. I know
you are there for her but it may help her
to talk to people who have been thru what
she has. Not just the bulemia but the
sexual abuse. Getting to the root of the
problem can help with everything else.
Ther are chat rooms or support groups that
she can join. I know how selfish this
disorder can be and how moody people can
get. Your a dear and true friend to stick
by her thru this. Just be her rock when
she needs it.
