Hi,
I've been happily married to my husband or
1.5 years. We share a fantastic
relationship and I feel very fortunate to
have him in my life.
My problem is that I live with my in laws
and they are making my life very
difficult. These are some of the issues I
have with my mil:
1. She accuses me of having done/said
things that are untrue
2. She speaks to me rudely/ignores
me/makes me feel excluded from the family
3. Picks on my appearance/dress sense
4. Says rude/hurtful things about my
family
5. Acts pretentiously nice with me in
public/in front of my parents/other
members of the family
I spent a whole year and 2 months trying
to maintain a dignified silence/ ignoring
her ill behaviour and comments/ hoping
that with time things would get better.
However, things have gone from bad to
worse.
My husband is very supportive and
highlights the issues to her - but she
quickly falls back in to bad habits.
I came from a loving/supportive family. I
used to be
confident/chirpy/optimistic/happy go
lucky. Although I know I shouldn't (and I
don't) judge myself by my mils comments -
I have found my married life chapter to be
soul destroying bcoz of my mil. I have
lost interest in things/ am exhausted of
the daily drama/ find it hard to sleep and
feel that I'm likely to become depressed
(which isn't good esp. bcoz I think I may
be pregnant again).
I don't let her get to me consciously, but
shes like an annoying song that you can
hear in the back ground all the time (not
meaning to sound rude but just giving an
example) that you just can't switch off.
My husband doesn't realise how bad I feel
- and I fear I'll jeopordise our
relationship by complaining all the
time/becoming a boring depressive.
No amount of reasoning with my mil makes
her see sense and we're not in a position
to move out.
Plz advise.
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CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2401
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
Posted: 11-30-07 23:29pm
This is a very hard problem to solve. I
hear this so many time it is'nt funny.
From my experience it is usually because
of one of two things.
No one good enough for her son.
Feels like you took her son away from
her.
I wish there was something I could offer
you for advice. Only thing I can say is to
try and keep your distance. As long as you
husband is that supportive of you, maybe
he can sit her down and talk to him. This
also happens to men that marry late in
life. Or a mommies boy. All in all I would
try and stay away. Sounds like you've
tried to warm up to her more then I would
and she backs away. I say let it be and
see what happens. Don't be deppressed. You
first priority should be your husband and
not his mother. And possibily your unborn
child.
|
Goddess Mom
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2007 Posts: 4
Get Out of Her House Posted: 12-01-07 01:58am
I can relate cuz i went through the same
thing. BUT, I made sure to move out of
the house. Try to save some money and
find a place of your own. If you can't
afford it, try to find a part-time job or
something to help. Your MIL will not get
better; she is harassing you cuz you stole
her little boy. My MIL got better when we
moved out, although she always blames me
for the move. But, I don't care; my
marriage is much more important that some
miserable old hag. Also, don't let her
win; if she she's you're depressed, then
she'll think she's accomplished her goal.
Ignore her and be happy.
