I would like there to be a sticky about
depersonalization/derealization. A lot of
people here describe it and nobody can
really tell them what it is they are
experiencing. I experienced increasing
depersonalization and derealization for 9
months after a drug overdose until I was
effectively treated. It got to the point
where my parents were advised to put me on
permanent disability.
Depersonalization is usually directly
linked to anxiety and panic... sometimes
people experience it only during panic
attacks or high stress, others, like
myself, have it chronically.
Depersonalization is when you feel
"outside" yourself... you forget who you
are... I would look in a mirror and not
recognize myself. I would look at my
family and they would look strange to me.
I felt like my body was a robot I was
controlling, I felt outside of my body.
Food tasted strange, touch felt strange.
If I closed my eyes, I would be unable to
sense the position of my body or where I
was. I would forget also. I would have
nightmares all the time... lose track of
where i was... lose track of
conversations... when I posted online it
was like a long run on sentence. Familiar
places (my house, my street) felt odd,
like i was watching a movie. I felt like I
was in a dream. Things did not flow
together, everything was isolated, it was
like a claustrophobic feeling of time that
would make me panic more.
There are different degrees of
depersonalization, I think mine was a
pretty bad case. I was to be put on
permanent disability, at one point.
Sometimes it can be confused with
schizoaffective and schizophrenic
symptoms....
For me, an SSRI and klonopin were the
"cure". Although, a year after initial
treatment, I still depend on my
medications daily.
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Jules
Supporter
Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 3752 Location: Merrie Englande, UK
Thanks: 75
Thanked:65
Posted: 12-02-07 15:13pm
This is very interesting, thank you for
posting this. I experienced a certain
level of depersonalisation when I was
suffering from depression (am on an SNRI
now and feel great!). Although it was not
as severe as that which you have
described, I can empathise with you. It's
a strange feeling and I found it
frightening at times but, strangely, quite
comforting at others. It was as if I was
not part of the real world and therefore
it could not hurt me.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5542 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 89
Thanked:31
Posted: 12-02-07 15:18pm
I'm on it
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postfetalphase
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Nov 2006 Posts: 58
Posted: 12-02-07 15:20pm
I think we need to raise the awareness of
this condition. It can be a terrifying
condition to have, especially when
physicians, friends etc can pinpoint what
it is.
I will also say that increasing paranoia
was developed before I was treated... I
was afraid if I went to sleep I would not
wake up. I was paranoid I had some kind of
brain damage or tumor, a stroke, parasites
in my brain, etc... had an MRI, and EEG,
nothing wrong. Then I was paranoid of
obtaining brain damage... I wouldn't go
outside after it had rained as I was
afraid of slipping and acquiring brain
damage. I was afraid to plug electrical
cords into outlets. Constant fear and
anxiety and paranoia... odd bodily
sensations.
So if you're experiencing something
similar, discuss it here. We can help
eachother out. There are also useful
forums and such devoted to
depersonalization/derealization.
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knf215
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 5
Posted: 12-04-07 03:37am
oh yeah I can relate to both
depersonalization and derealization.
combined with anxiety and depression it
caused me to not trust anyone anound me.
extreme paranoia. constantly wondering
what was real what had meaning what were
lies. What happened to me is it escalated
to a point where I didn't even trust
myself or my thoughts--rightly so, because
they were completly detached from
reality.
what caused it for me was going off of
antidepressants and marijuana use- for
sure. it was like a constant trance. But
then I would understand my irrationality
and beat myself up for it. Caused me to
have to take a medical leave from
college.
I think that there is not enough
information about these subjects- nor do
people understand the cycle of mental
torture linked to it. having one foot in
reality and one on a distant planet is
hard to cope with
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5542 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 89
Thanked:31
Posted: 12-04-07 21:18pm
That was a good description.
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antiquerose
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jan 2008 Posts: 5
when will it go away?! Posted: 02-05-08 17:28pm
my whole life i have felt normal until
now! for the past 8 months i have
experienced what i think is anxiety...and
now i feel as if im battling depression.
it started with not being able to breath,
forgetting little things, my mind going
blank, getting dizzy when going into
stores, my heart fluttering on occasions,
thinking im losing my mind, and for the
past 2 weeks i feel as if im lost in a
dream...i often question life and who i am
and everyone else around me.. im in
constant pain and sadness and confusion
because my entire life i have felt normal
until now! it really is a struggle and i
feel sleeping is the only way to get away
from it. i constantly think im going to
die and im scared of this...and just wish
to not have this feeling anymore. this
shouldn't be the case, i am only a 19 year
old girl who wants to live her life the
the fullest...does this feeling ever go
away? i want to be myself again i went to the er
the other night because i was trembling
and couldn't take the feeling anymore and
the drs prescribed my zoloft and said im
suffering from depression and anxiety. i
did lose both my parents, my mom in march
of 2007 and my dad in july 2007, when the
symptoms of anxiety first began. it has
come to a point where i don't want to deal
with it anymore and life has gotten
extrememly hard. i haven't taken the
zoloft because i have a physical in 2 days
and im waiting to see what my doctor
says...and make sure everything else is ok
with my body. im thinking of trying
lexapro because my brother was on it and
he said it really helped him with his
anxiety symptoms. i think i have
experienced 2 or 3 panic attacks in the
last 8 months but recently the only thing
bothering me is the feeling of being in a
dream, not knowing myself, and feeling
sad,hopeless,and like theres nothing i can
do about this. i was on ortha evra birth
control for little over a year and right
when my anxiety symptoms started, i
decided to stop it thinking that was the
problem. ever since then i have just kept
getting worse... i really don't know what
to think anymore!!! has anyone else
experienced this and been able to get rid
of the horrible thoughts constantly in
your head that you're living in a dream???
im scared its never going to go
away...maybe it could be a chemical
imbalance??
|
Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 512 Location: U.K,
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-05-08 18:25pm
It sounds like classic anxiety and
depression and after the loss of both your
parents in quick succession, I am not at
all surprised you are experiencing this
reaction.
What worked best of all for me was CBT -
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - and that
was after a very long time of suffering
exactly what you are describing. I was
given tranquilisers, antidepressants,
sleep therapy, psychiatric assessment and
of course, endless trips to ER as I was
sure I was having a heart attack/ stroke
or suffering from impending madness etc -
you know the sort of thing.
You need to talk to someone who can help
you confront your loss and your fears,
your need to express your grief, your loss
of control and perhaps even your anger.
You need to take little baby steps out of
this, but if you can recognise small
achievements every day, your confidence
will come back and you will be able to
accept these feelings of unreality and
depersonalisation as just your
subconscious mind's way of protecting you
from further hurt.
Some good talk therapy can help you build
up your confidence and show you that there
is a way out of this. I wish you all the
best .
|
antiquerose
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jan 2008 Posts: 5
Posted: 02-05-08 20:46pm
did you ever feel better? like back to
your "normal self" cus before i started
feeling like this..thats what i think was
"NORMAL" how a person should live...now im
just really confused about everything should i ask my dr
for a referal for Cognitive Behavioural
Therapy?
and did any medication help you??
|
Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 512 Location: U.K,
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-06-08 11:04am
Yes, I feel much better now - I feel there
is purpose in life and I do not get those
awful panic attacks (unless I m about to
board a plane!)
My employers paid for my CBT counselling
as otherwsie I would have had to wait
several months and they wanted me back to
work quickly!
My GP also gave me Trazodone as a light
sedative for night. It is not narcotic
but a very mild anti-depressant. Many of
my symptoms were excacerbated by lack of
sleep so it helped in the sense that it
relaxed me at night and made me WANT to
sleep, rather than lie awake worrying
about dying in my sleep!
In time, as your mind and body begin to
relax, all these strange sensations you
are having will disappear.
|
dennisthemenyce
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2008 Posts: 2
Wow.... Posted: 06-12-08 00:07am
It's so reassuring to come across people
who are going through the same feelings.
The forums on anxiety/panic attacks saved
me from a emergency visit tonight.
I've been having attacks on and off for
like 4 years and I have different
symptoms. I know an attack is coming
because my lip or pinky finger gets a
tingling feeling which later turns to a
numbness.
But the most scary issues aren't the
breathing or heart racing... Mine are the
facial nerves start to numb and tingle.
This scares me and makes me think I am
having a stroke, and everytime I am always
told, "not at your age". I've had CT
scans, EKG's. Zoloft made me sleepy, Paxil
gave me headaches, Celexia made me lose me
sex drive. Soon I quit everything and said
I would just suffer from them. They went
away for almost a year, and recently
started back. I have been taking Magnesium
+ B-Complex as advised by my last
physician. But when I haven't taken them
regularly the problems come back. For some
reason I still fear the symptoms because
like everyone say, "I might actually be
suffering from some under lying condition
that's being overlooked".
So thank everyone for your posts and
advice, they have helped me tonight.
|
nnb505
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jun 2008 Posts: 1
Dream like feeling....antique rose Posted: 06-27-08 17:31pm
For the past month i felt like my life has
been hell. Antiquerose, i know exactly
what you are talking about with your dream
like feeling. I feel as though everything
feels like i am in a dream. Nothing seems
real to me and i cannot stop thinking
about this terrifying feeling. I cannot
get away from it even in my sleep, i
constantly dream about the feeling of not
being normal or really there. It al
started when i had a panic attack while
driving then instantly i went into a dream
like feeling of everything not really
feeling real. For a month now i have
tried hypnosis,acupuncture,and have been
on Effexor for 3 weeks. I feel as though
nothing will work to stop these terrifying
obsessive thoughts. Some times i get sooo
deep into thoughts that i question myself
am i really alive. I just want my old
life back and want to feel normal. I then
get depressed at times when i look at my
friends and my boyfriend and feel as
though nothing really feels real..i often
feel like i am alone even though my
boyfriend may be right in fron of me? If
any one has any suggestions please
help???? Thanks.
|
CarolDiane
Moderator
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2390 Location: ,
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
Posted: 06-27-08 19:43pm
Great thread gang. I also have this and am
on Depakote and Seraquil. Works wonders
for me. I not half as parnoid as I use to
be. I had Agoraphobia big time. Now I am
outside all the time at stores and working
in the yard. It is a horrible illness to
live with.
|
lexroxjax
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2008 Posts: 4
May be the answer I was seeking... Posted: 07-03-08 11:26am
Hi,
I just posted above about my daughter
telling me that she doesn't feel like
herself. And, although I have General
Anxiety Disorder, as she does, I wasn't
familiar with this symptom.
She has been a bit anxious since the
school year ended, and instead of being
happy w/ the summer vacation, she is
anxious. She "seems" happy, but she keeps
telling me that she feels like people
aren't real, and she is in a dream. I
wasn't really familiar until I read this
post. I wouldn't call her case a severe
case of depersonalization, but I think I'm
on the right track with it. I hope more
people will post about it as well. I
would love to know how to teach her to
cope with it.
|
lexroxjax
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2008 Posts: 4
An old post... Posted: 07-03-08 11:52am
I found this post from two years ago when
searching "depersonalization" in the
archives. This one really explained this
phenomenon to me, and maybe it will help
someone else here...
"When I first began suffering with anxiety
and panic attacks, one of the scariest
sensations I came across was that of
unreality/depersonalization/derealization.
Of course, I had never heard these terms
at that time, and had no idea what the
problem was (actually thought I was going
crazy!). This excerpt is from
mc2method.Com/anxiety - I think some of
you will find it useful if you're
experiencing such sensations: "do you
sometimes feel like you or your
environment are unreal? Or that there is a
disconnect between the two? This dreamlike
sensation can be rather disturbing,
especially if you interpret it to be the
onset of serious mental illness. However,
it is much more likely that what you're
experiencing is the common anxiety
sensation of unreality, often referred to
as depersonalization or derealization. In
most cases, sensations of
depersonalization result from the
introversion that anxiety cultivates.
Anxious people tend to become so
preoccupied with worrisome thoughts, body
sensations, and adverse emotions, that
their awareness becomes increasingly
directed within themselves, rather than on
the outside world. And this inner focus
increases as inner turmoil grows. With
time, you may become so consumed by your
inner mental/emotional world that the
outer world begins to take on an air of
unreality. When this sensation of
unreality is encountered, a typical
anxious response is to become fearful that
you're going crazy or losing your mind.
But that increased anxiety just fuels the
introversion causing the sensation. Yes,
it can be quite frightening, but know that
there is a vast difference between the
simple sensation of unreality, and true
insanity. When you encounter this
sensation, remind yourself that it is a
common anxiety symptom that will disappear
once you've resolved the anxiety itself."
hope that info helps one or some of you
out there - sometimes it comforting just
to know that what we're experiencing is
not abnormal."
i went to the er
the other night because i was trembling
and couldn't take the feeling anymore and
the drs prescribed my zoloft and said im
suffering from depression and anxiety. i
did lose both my parents, my mom in march
of 2007 and my dad in july 2007, when the
symptoms of anxiety first began. it has
come to a point where i don't want to deal
with it anymore and life has gotten
extrememly hard. i haven't taken the
zoloft because i have a physical in 2 days
and im waiting to see what my doctor
says...and make sure everything else is ok
with my body. im thinking of trying
lexapro because my brother was on it and
he said it really helped him with his
anxiety symptoms. i think i have
experienced 2 or 3 panic attacks in the
last 8 months but recently the only thing
bothering me is the feeling of being in a
dream, not knowing myself, and feeling
sad,hopeless,and like theres nothing i can
do about this. i was on ortha evra birth
control for little over a year and right
when my anxiety symptoms started, i
decided to stop it thinking that was the
problem. ever since then i have just kept
getting worse... i really don't know what
to think anymore!!! 
