My Guy Says He.s Getting Tired of Having to Explain Self Posted: 12-03-07 03:08am
Well my boyfriends coworker who's lesbian
took pictures of anothers girls ass on my
guys phone and I saw them. I naturally
assumed he took them. Since I have found
other girls pics on his phone before.
His little brother was over at our house
and I didn't want to discuss it since he
was here. It wouldn't be cool. So when he
took him home he just came back and locked
himself in our room. I got up and asked
him why he wasn't talking to me. He said
"I'm tired that everytime you see
something like that I have to explain
myself to you. Everytime you do that I
have to beg you and pleade not to be angry
or sad" a week ago if some of you read my
"some chik txt my guy and I confronted him
bout it" post you.ll get an idea.
So his thing is that if I see something
like that,that I shouldn't get any ideas
and he should have to explain himself.
What if he saw stuff like that on my
cell?! Of course he has the rite to
confront me about it! He wasn't even
looking at me when I was talking to him so
I just left the room. If he doesn't let me
kno what's up how am I to know what's
going on? Why can't guys understand that?
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blondie_899
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2007 Posts: 62
Posted: 12-04-07 17:12pm
Your boyfriend shouldn't be getting mad at
you.You have a right to ask him questions
about it.Ask your boyfriend nicely if he
can stop letting other people use his
phone to take pictures.Tell him it bothers
you and it's more of a respect thing.He
sounds a little immature if he just locked
himself in the room and wouldn't talk to
you face to face about it.Tell him you
have a right to be curious because of what
he did in the past.
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Maddie34
Supporter
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 1175 Location: ,
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Posted: 12-04-07 17:48pm
Just wondering but how often do you poke
around on his phone?
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 12-04-07 17:49pm
this does not sound like a very healthy
relationship
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ladyT02
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2007 Posts: 198 Location: ,
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Posted: 12-04-07 18:33pm
The very first time I looked at his phone
it was cause he handed it to me so I could
play games on it an look at pics...which I
found nudey pics of his babymama lol he
said he syncd his new phone wit his old
one and everything got transferrd. He said
he didn't kno they were there. The second
time was jus a few weeks back when my
phone went crazy and kept sending random
mesages. He wasn't the only one that got
my random messages about 5 other people
did. So I told him I.d erase them for him
while he was in the bathroom. And I was
erasing them but almost erased some other
ones he had. And that's when I saw one txt
from some girl and she was coming on to
him., and when she had asked him if he had
a girlfriend he said no. So I asked him
calmly about it and he said he was joking
around and that she knows me and him are
together but that she was getting so
annoying he had to call her and ask her to
stop so we resolved that issue.
And This time he handed me his work phone
so I could play wit it and stuff and found
those pics. We.ve been together 14mnths
and this has only happened 3 times. Our
relationship does get bumpy but the
majority of the time its happy and calm.
Its jus when things like this happen that
it gets bumpy. He makes it sound like I do
it all the time and that I have no rite to
question him about it.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 12-04-07 18:36pm
WHy are you still with him? do you clearly
not see this progressing into a disaster?
BIG RED FLAGS!
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ladyT02
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2007 Posts: 198 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 12-04-07 18:46pm
You make it sound like everything should
be perfect in a relationship lol no
relationship is perfect, there's always
gonna be something there that makes us nag
at each other, and argue etc. That's why
were all here to get advice on stuff like
this. I.ve already had a few people come
at me telling me to leave him, he sucks,
he.s not good enuf. No man is ever gonna
be good enuf for us, but we love them
flaws and all.
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Maddie34
Supporter
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 1175 Location: ,
Thanks: 43
Thanked:12
Posted: 12-04-07 20:13pm
Ok, I was just checking because this was
the second time I've commented on a
rummaging through phone thing but I get it
now.
If you think this is no big deal, then
fine. But you NEED to stop looking through
his stuff if you're going to continue with
this relationship. If you can't trust this
guy, then you can't have a good
relationship-- and notice I didn't say
perfect, just good. I know what you mean,
nothing is going to be perfect but there
should be respect, trust and friendship at
the very least.
Do you trust and respect him enough to
stop looking through his pictures and
texts? I've had many opportunities to look
through things on my boyfriend's phone and
email but not once have I ever felt the
need.
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ladyT02
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2007 Posts: 198 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 12-10-07 20:13pm
I do have trust and love for him. I guess
its true what my mother said to me once. A
heart that doesn't see it, a heart that
doesn't feel it. Meaning if he was being
sneaky but I didn't see it, I can't say
nothing, lol I hate that saying. But its
true, like I.ve heard" love a person with
all
your heart and trust they don't break
it". And its true, jus love and trust.
That way if anything does happen in the
future at least you can say you had trust
and were honest in the relationship. I
also feel a little bad that I.ve noticed
its his friends (female) that come onto
him even tho they kno he.s taken. But when
I see something like that I always end up
assuming he.s the instigator when I
clearly kno its the other person. Maybe
cause of my bad relationships I think that
first but I'm learning to stop. Jus cause
one jerk screwed me over shouldn't mean
ima blame my current boyfriend for all
the mistakes menkind have made. *phew*
I needed to get that put thanks guys
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