Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 303 Location: Sunderland, UK
Thanks: 2
Thanked:5
Not Happy Posted: 12-06-07 08:04am
I have to put all this down somewhere. My
head's all over the place. In a way it's
easier for me to tell all this to people
I've never met.
There are so many things I'm unhappy about
at the minute. I just have a general
feeling that life is a bit crap. I feel
sad a lot of the time, and everything is
bugging me. I feel like I stop myself from
being happy.
I'll take it slow or I'll forget myself.
First of all, I'm constantly bored. People
around me are all having fun and laughing
and you know when they post on their
myspace pages 'I love life!!!' and things
like that and they have loads of friends
and I feel really jealous because they're
so sociable and likeable. I'm not someone
who sits in a dark corner or anything but
I prefer to just have a few close friends.
Thing is with that, it's like they don't
want to know anymore. There's only a
couple I see regularly whereas before we
all used to get together at least once a
week with all of us there and just have a
laugh, and everything was cool. But now
two of them are going out together and
although they're happy together it's like
they're not interested in anyone else and
they hardly ever come places with us, and
when they do they leave early or when they
talk they're only interested in the
conversation if it's about them. One of
them is usually silent throughout anyway.
Uni's bad. I think it's a waste of time,
and I don't even know what I want to do in
the future so in part I feel I'm wasting
my time because I might never use what I'm
learning. I'm pessimistic about the
future. There's nothing that interests me
for a full time job, and I don't want to
spend 40 years of my life doing something
I don't like.
Christmas is coming, and although I am
looking forward to it I'm also not. I live
with my mam and there's just us two in the
house, and I usually go to my dads in the
afternoon and leave her by herself, which
makes me feel guilty for her being alone
but at the same time I need to do what I
want, so I feel a bit restricted in that
sense.
These things hit me at random times,
usually when I'm at work, which is also a
waste of time. That's just it though, I
feel like I'm wasting my life by not being
happy and not having all this fun. This is
supposed to be the best time of my life.
Is this as good as life is ever gonna
get?
As for relationships, well, I have a bf
and have had for the last 4 years, but
lately I've been finding myself less and
less attracted to him, and now I'm not
really at all. He doesn't turn me on or
anything. It's problematic for the fact
that we're doing this sex therapy together
which needs me to be aroused and it's just
not happening.
On top of all this, I'm having real issues
with my appearance. I really hate the way
I look, and it annoys me.
Sorry for the length. And well done, if
you got this far. Just had to pour it all
out.
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nameless720
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2007 Posts: 8 Location: ,
Posted: 12-09-07 16:12pm
hey, I know where you are coming from.
I've been going though similar problems.
Like you, I just have a few close friends.
I used to hang out with them all the time,
like two times a week or more. I started
to feel jealous of them because I thought
they were happier than I was. They all had
girl friends or boy friends. Some of them
even started dating each other. That
divides the group even more.
I started focusing on other things besides
my friends for a while. I started playing
guitar more and concentrating on college
and other issues in the world. I started
reading more too. What I found beneficial
to getting over boredom and laziness was
to set a schedule and try my best to
follow it. Another suggestion (take it or
leave it, I'm not telling you do do this
or advertising doing this, it is
completely you're decision, I'm only
saying what helps me), but when I get
really bored, I smoke weed. But there are
many things to consider before trying
this. I'm able to smoke and at the same
time be successful in everything I listed
above. It all comes down to if you can do
it responsibly. again, that is just a
suggestion,what works for me may not work
for everyone.
Even if you will never use what you will
learn in school, it will benefit you in
life. For example, taking a hard math
class may not benefit you in getting a
better understanding of math, but it will
put you on a different thought process,
and it will make you more intelligent(hard
to explain, but you will know what I mean
if you try this). It will also help you
with motivation and if anything, doing
homework will give you something to do.
Personally, I hate math. Try taking a
history class or an English class,
psychology is a good one too at you're
college or high school.
hope that helps..
Up until about 5 days ago, I was having
some problems with my appearance. But I
realized that I was over analyzing my
image too much. No one is perfect, even if
they look prefect. What does you're
boyfriend think of you're appearance?
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Lion79
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 303 Location: Sunderland, UK
Thanks: 2
Thanked:5
Posted: 12-09-07 19:16pm
Thanks for your reply.
I don't think I'll do the weed thing. I've
never done it before, wouldn't know what
to do, how to get it, etc. Will try the
other things though.
It just seems like all I do is pointless.
Like there's no meaning to it, at all. My
bf thinks I'm pretty, but in a way he's
required to say that. Sometimes I'll agree
but more often now I'm comparing myself so
much more to other people. It's hard at
uni because it's like a fashion show where
you're competing against everyone, and I
see girls and think wow, why can't I look
like that? And they just look perfect.
It's not anything to do with how
celebrities look or anything, because I
know how unrealistic their beauty is, but
when it's right there in front of you on a
real person it's so much harder to ignore.
And just little things, like I'll catch my
reflection in a mirror halfway through the
day and my hair and makeup will be a mess
even though I thought it was fine before
and some girl will walk past with perfect,
flawless appearance. I know it's silly.
What you said about being jealous of your
friends because they were happy, that's
what I get too. It's happened tonight, I
was at a party with friends and two of
them kept telling each other how much they
loved each other and I just rolled my eyes
but truth is I was jealous of them,
because I feel like we're not as close
anymore and part of the reason is because
they are together. And another of my
friends got chatted up and kissed this
guy, she always gets attention from boys.
Nobody would ever come do anything liek
that to me.
Sorry, not happy at the minute. I hardly
even know why.
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Hart74
Supporter
Joined: 06 Apr 2007 Posts: 530 Location: Woodlands (not like there are woods anywhere near) Garden City ,
Thanks: 9
Thanked:7
Lion79 - Not Happy Posted: 12-10-07 02:52am
I do feel the same way sometime but then I
try to kick the 'habit' by making myself
happy and occupy myself with things that
doesn't bore me, things which I like. I'll
make sure that I am always 'busy' so that
I don't have time to think about being
'not happy'. Happiness doesn't come to you
but then you'll have to find it. Even
though I am ugly (fat and short) I think
positively and tell myself I am not and
I'll feel better, think good looks good,
the key word is only I can make myself
feel the way I want to be only I have the
power to do so.
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CarolDiane
Moderator
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2390 Location: ,
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
the World Outside Your Front Door Posted: 12-11-07 00:58am
Is not what it use to be. People smiling
and saying hellow. Gosh. my own neigbors
don't even say a word. I remember when
everyone was so friendly and happy. Boy,
times have changed and it is called "
Depression".
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Lion79
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 303 Location: Sunderland, UK
Thanks: 2
Thanked:5
Posted: 12-12-07 10:14am
Thanks for the advice. The funny thing is
that I feel worst when I'm busy, like when
I'm at uni or at work. I felt so sad by
the end of my shift last night, and I
didn't really know why. I felt like
crying. When I'm at home, I'm usually ok.
There's not much I can do at work or uni
to make myself happy, unless there's some
sort of game I can play in my head!
I wish I was someone else sometimes.
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twilight_mist
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 38 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 12-13-07 19:38pm
i can relate to much of what you've
written here, especially the last thing
you said there.. I also tend to feel worse
when I'm occupied, unless it is something
I really like doing. - perhaps your
depression is linked with stress of some
kind? (just a thought, i really don't know
much about that).
Perhaps you could find some spare-time
activity that keeps you occupied in some
other way than school and work? like
something creative, so that you have to
use your head, but still use your
imagination a bit?
feel free to PM me if you wanna talk.
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jellybiehn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Dec 2007 Posts: 2
Unhappy Posted: 12-13-07 21:41pm
hello, first time here, posting a msg
about darn allergies when i decided to
read this link about unhappy. I have been
unhappy for as long as I can remember. I
had always just delt with it by myself
though, making sure nobody caught on, as a
matter of fact I was probably the happiest
looking person in my HS, voted perma-grin
a few times, but it was a lie. I have
never been happy.
I am 25 years old now. I went to uni for
something i really had no intrest in doing
and am now in my career of it. I feel so
stuck at this point in my life. To top it
off, i dropped everything, my new career ,
my new friends , my family, and moved 6
hrs away when my BF of 6 yrs decided to go
back to school. dont get me wrong, I love
him and he is the one thing in my life
that makes me the least bit happy, but now
on top of the depression i now feel
resentment towards him for bringing the
depression back. I had had a handle on it,
was on medication on and off for a year
and a half and was finally confident to go
off it....then I moved here and every bad
feeling just came back.
I have never liked a single thing about
my appearence, so to top it off i have
gained 18 lbs and feel worse than ever, as
celebs get thinner and thinner ,not to
mention the porn stars that my ol BF has
constant access to, how is a girl supposed
to feel about herself? Anyway, i want to
go back on the medication, and when i can
afford it i will, but until then i would
appreciate a little support from those who
feel the way i do everyday. I give the
same back to you fighting the same fight i
do each and every minute of every day!
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Lion79
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 303 Location: Sunderland, UK
Thanks: 2
Thanked:5
Posted: 12-14-07 06:44am
Again, thanks for all replies, it really
means something.
It probably is linked to stress, as
there's a lot going on at the minute. Or
maybe I'm just ebsessing over things that
were always there, I dunno. I have a whole
bunch of instruments in my house that I
should really pick up and play, because
now I only play them when I'm at practice
or concerts and rarely practice at home. I
seem to have no motivation, or time for
it. I have little motivation for anything,
and I've been skipping a few classes
lately, just because they're pointless.
And yes, celebs and porn stars give us
girls a really bad image. I keep heaing
people say that men prefer curvier girls,
but where's the evidence? All celebs are
stick thin, and porn stars are just as
bad, and although I don't want to look
skeletal I'd like to lose a couple dress
sizes. It's also not so much my size but
my shape as well. I'd love to have long
legs, be taller, which would make me look
thinner anyway, but as I am now I'm short
and dumpy.
I can relate to what you're saying
jellybiehn. Nobody knows how I really
feel, and when I'm with other people I try
not to show it. And don't worry, we're all
here for you while you're feeling bad.
Maybe you'll feel better after you've
adjusted to life in a new place, I know
that moving somewhere new and having to
make new friends would scare the life
outta me Hope you get
yourself sorted soon, and we're here if
you wanna talk!
You know what, I feel happier now, telling
you all this. Like I say, the worst for me
is when I'm at work and I'm surrounded by
strangers. BUT I have a whole 4 days off,
I have a christmas party tonight and I'm
going away for the weekend to see a band I
really love. I'd love to do more stuff
like this, but time will not permit.
Hope you get
yourself sorted soon, and we're here if
you wanna talk!
