Any Advice For My Relationship? Boyfriend doesn't want sex Posted: 12-12-07 01:12am
So my bf and I have been dating for 10
months, and he seems to of lost the want
to have a sexual relationship with me. It
seems we only have sex like once a month
lately. Im getting really down from this.
I like him so much, i really thought he
would be the guy i end up marring. I even
pictuared what our wedding would be like.
And besides him have a few flows he is the
best guy i have ever dated, and ive dated
alot of guys. (dont want that to sound
wrong, ive dated alot of guys, not had sex
with alot of guys lol) Ive tryed
everything i could think of, I usualy
dress in a black shirt and jenes. im kinda
punk lookin most of the time. So one
night, when he decided to take me out on a
date, i was really excited because he
haddnt taken me out on a date since we
first met, i got all dolled up, i looked
sooo nice and hot, but not over board, he
said he would be at my house at 2 so i was
ready by 130.. and i sat waiting... by 4 i
was woundering why he hadnt called or
anythign so i started texting him and even
called a few times. He never answered or
wrote back. He finaly called at 7 saying
he was on his way over, i asked why he
haddnt aswered his phone or anything he
said because he was asleep (my bf has a
sleeping problem, he says he cant force
himself to get up, i think ive posted
about it before but im not sure) So i was
really pissed when he got there, and he
didnt understand why so i explained to him
that i had been waiting for him since
130. He didnt comment on how nice i looked
or anything.
We went back to his house and layed on
his couch and i waited for him to start
showing that he was in the mood but i
heard him start snoring ( he went to bed
at 4 am slept till 7pm, it was 10 pm How
could he still be tired) so i started
trying to get him in the mood and he fell
asleep while we were making out, it was
devistating. that was in oct, weve had sex
once since than. and it didnt even feel
like he was into it at all, im pretty sure
he just gave up and stoped trying. Every
time ive tryed to get him in the mood he
turns me down. I talked to him about it
and he said that it was because we dont
get much alone time, so i made it so we
had alone time, yet agian i was turned
down. he wouldnt even let me get close to
him to try. I dont try to force him to do
it or anything, ill usualy just wait to
see if he wants to. so i talked to him
again last night and he said it was
because he just isnt usualy in the
mood,and he doesnt want that to be the
only thing that holds our relationship
togeither. i asked stuff like if i just
dont make him happy that way and he said i
do. I want him to be open with me and tell
me everything. I tould him i was sorry but
i just cant stop worrying about this, he
says he loves alot, and i can see that
really does like me. Idk what to do. Im
really devistated the guy im in head over
hills for is acting so strange!
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Aunt WeeWee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 165 Location: Amherst, VA, 24521
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Posted: 12-12-07 11:09am
Ok, i juz skeemed through ur post, cause I
don't have a lot of time.
1st of all, try tell-n him how u feel.
Then try sumthin new, 2 spiece thins up a
little. If there is aywy U can, go out 1
night, & get a room, & juz have a
night w/ U & him, and have fun. MayB
he's juz got a lot on his mind or sumthin.
I would tell him how U feel, and talk
bout it w/ him.
I hope I was sum help. keep me updated!
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Aunt WeeWee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 165 Location: Amherst, VA, 24521
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Posted: 12-12-07 11:18am
Another thin, sum guys R juz like dat.
I'm N a long distance relationship, but
B-4 my bf moved 4 states away 4rm me, when
I kne we were go-n out, i would always
fix my hair & have sumthin cute on,
and make-up on, but 95% of the time he
wouldn't comment me on anythin. When he
did comment me it was on how pretty my
eyes or hair is. i wouldn't worry 2 much.
Juz talk 2 him
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nightangel73
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Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2732 Location: ,
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Posted: 12-12-07 21:51pm
pixie if I were you I would breakup with
the guy. He is showing that's what he
wants to do anyways. I had a bf once that
began to turn me down like that and in a
few months time he broke up with me. I
should have figured it out when he began
to turn me down. That was the signal. We
didn't fight so I couldn't imagine he
wanted to break up with me for any reason
but the thruth was he lost interest in me
for some reason and wanted to break.
My advice go get a guy that wants to make
you feel like real woman. Forget that oh
but i'm head over hills for this guy
bluff. In the end it doesn't matter if you
are head over heels for him if he is not
head over heels for you. So don't waste
your time. There is plenty of men out
there looking for a relationship.
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PixieKat
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2007 Posts: 205 Location: UT,
Posted: 12-13-07 00:33am
Thank you for your replys, im going to
give him a little while longer, and if
things dont change ill make a desicion
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To0kxy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2007 Posts: 24 Location: ,
Posted: 01-15-08 18:20pm
I have been with my partner for a few
years now, i have found that if i give him
heaps of attention and call all the time,
he shows less interest. Before you make a
decision to break up, try not contacting
him, dont organise anything. Be the same
towards him as you are usually. just act
like you dont care about what he does. He
might not like it or get worried that YOUR
not interested in him anymore. This might
change his actions alot. If he organizes
to do something, tell him you`ll meet him
at his and be an hour late. Try not being
affectionate to him, if he wants a cuddle
he`ll come to you. If he asks you what is
wrong just say something simple like
"Nothing babe, i just got the impression i
was smothering you."
Every guy is different though, just
because i have found this to work with my
relationship, doesn't necessarily mean it
will work for you. Hope it helps though!
Please keep me updated i would love to
knwo what happens.
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PixieKat
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2007 Posts: 205 Location: UT,
Posted: 01-17-08 13:23pm
Thanks for your reply:) I think im going
to try what you sugested, it will be
really hard, but ill do it.
My guy still hasnt changed, and i made
this bet with him, we play halo alot,
thats mainly what we do, so i tould him,
if we play halo, than that night we have
to atleast four play. When we went to bed
that night, i felt bad, i dont want him
giving me attention just because i want
him to ya know. so i didnt do anything, he
started it, and after he was really turned
on and we stoped that was it. we went to
sleep. How can he get really turned on and
just stop? Not that i wasnt happy with the
attention i got, but most guys, would of
called me a teas if i stoped and was just
done.
So i guess ill just try what you sugested.
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Neek
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2008 Posts: 20 Location: ,
Posted: 01-19-08 05:06am
You could find some1 who treats you a
hundred times better than that!
he doesnt deserve some1 as special as you
look how much effort you are putting in,
he doesnt even acknowledge that
i was in a similar situation, it took me a
while to get out... but you have to before
its too late, or you could get hurt more!
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PixieKat
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2007 Posts: 205 Location: UT,
Posted: 01-19-08 15:41pm
Ya, i know i should try to find another
guy, but out off all the guys ive dated,
he is the only one who is close to
everything i want in a guy.. Im just hopin
it will work.. I dont know if i realy
should dump him just because he doesnt
want sex, to me that sounds like a weird
reasion to break up with a guy.
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unnamedny
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Dec 2007 Posts: 102 Location: New York, USA
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Posted: 01-20-08 12:12pm
sex if very important part of the
relationship, we need it for our health.
From reading above it seems to me that
that SEX is not the only issue in your
relationship. if you feel this is the
issue you have to talk to him and find out
what's WRONG, even if it goes into the
conflict (sometimes you have to get into
drama to resolve some issues).
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PixieKat
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2007 Posts: 205 Location: UT,
Posted: 01-20-08 15:28pm
The only other issue we have in our
relationship is him sleeping alot. Other
than that and no sex its a great
relationship. If there is another issue in
our relationship, i dont see it.
I've tryed talking to him many times about
it, and i havnt found out why he doesnt
want to have sex with me. I asked
questions like, if i excite him, what i
can do to please him more. Why he doesnt
like sex stuff like that, and he just says
he doesnt like to have sex to much, that i
excite him and there is nothing i could do
to make it better stuff like that.....
Im just completely lost with this.
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Maddie34
Supporter
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 1844 Location: ,
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Posted: 01-20-08 15:50pm
So does he have some problem with
sleeping? Why on earth is he going to
sleep at 4 am? Is he always like that?
Does he work?
I'm only asking because obviously you
aren't going to be in the mood for sex if
you're exhausted. I used to work 10+ hours
get home at 12 am and stay up until 3 and
then my boyfriend wanted to have sex-- it
just wasn't going to happen for me since
all I could think about was sleep. We had
to work things out so I would take days
off just for him-- like weekends were for
my boyfriend and I while during the week I
got sleep at correct times. And I know
you'd think that going to sleep at 4 am
and waking up at 7 pm sounds like MORE
than enough sleep but it really messes
with your body and its just not how it's
supposed to be.
Sorry, I don't know the details so that
might not even be the problem. I couldn't
find any recent post of yours about your
bf's sleeping problem so let me know!
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unnamedny
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Dec 2007 Posts: 102 Location: New York, USA
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Posted: 01-20-08 17:05pm
Well there are guys who only need to get
laid once every month. Same type of girls
exist. But I've met anyone with a such a
sleeping disorder. Usually when people
sleep overtime they might feel more tired
than after sleeping 8 hours.
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PixieKat
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2007 Posts: 205 Location: UT,
Posted: 01-20-08 18:29pm
Maddie34
wrote:
So does he have some problem
with sleeping? Why on earth is he going to
sleep at 4 am? Is he always like that?
Does he work?
I'm only asking because obviously you
aren't going to be in the mood for sex if
you're exhausted. I used to work 10+ hours
get home at 12 am and stay up until 3 and
then my boyfriend wanted to have sex-- it
just wasn't going to happen for me since
all I could think about was sleep. We had
to work things out so I would take days
off just for him-- like weekends were for
my boyfriend and I while during the week I
got sleep at correct times. And I know
you'd think that going to sleep at 4 am
and waking up at 7 pm sounds like MORE
than enough sleep but it really messes
with your body and its just not how it's
supposed to be.
Sorry, I don't know the details so that
might not even be the problem. I couldn't
find any recent post of yours about your
bf's sleeping problem so let me
know!
Well he works graves from 10 to 5 am he
usualy sleeps from 6 or 7am till 2 or 3 if
i wake him up, if not he will sleep till 5
or later, even sometimes until 9pm when he
has to get ready to go to work again.
Sometimes i dont even get sex once amonth,
last time it was 2 going on three.
Even sometimes after he's slept alot, he
will come over and go to sleep, it seems
like all we do togither is watch tv, play
halo or he sleeps.. We occasinaly go
bowing and stuff. but i dont have much
money so we try not to do alot of things
that cost money.
Sorry i thought i posted about his
sleeping issue on ehealth, but it also
might of been on yahoo before i found this
site.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 01-20-08 18:34pm
ahh you play halo? halo 3? on x box 360?
if
so........................................
..ME TOO!
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PixieKat
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2007 Posts: 205 Location: UT,
Posted: 01-20-08 18:37pm
You do! thats awsome! i havnt met very
many girls that do. Do you play on live
alot?
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 01-20-08 18:38pm
yep x box live i love social
slayer. i just hold the trigger down on my
gun LOL
me and travis play alot.
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PixieKat
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2007 Posts: 205 Location: UT,
Posted: 01-20-08 18:43pm
Lol thats awsome ^_^
if you ever feel like playing against me
you should add me
StripierAnubis
Its Stripier not striper lol, my twin made
my name... and every one keeps asking if
im a striper lol
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 01-20-08 18:44pm
LOL awsome
are you ranked or anything?
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PixieKat
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2007 Posts: 205 Location: UT,
Posted: 01-20-08 18:48pm
Yup, im a lieutenant grade 3, and my
highest skill is 15... Now i sound geeky
lol
i love social
slayer. i just hold the trigger down on my
gun LOL