Hello-bipolar Or Communication Difference? Posted: 12-13-07 10:19am
Hello all,
I really need your opinion about
something. My girlfriend lately has felt
extremely depressed after our arguments. I
will say something to her and she doesn't
know what to say. I'm learning this part.
She needs time to think and formulate a
response. It makes me feel she doesn't
care. I keep pushing and pushing and she
feels cornered, attacked, then angry and
then depressed. She feels like she doesn't
meet my needs and this leads to depression
for her. I realize now I need to back off
and give her time to think things out. Do
you think this is something related to my
bipolar condition or is this simply a
communication difference that needs to be
worked out?
THANK YOU,
Atticus
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coal
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Nov 2007 Posts: 22
Posted: 12-13-07 11:35am
You know, I've wondered the exact same
thing with my husband (he's bipolar, not
me). Maybe we just don't know how to
communicate, and that's why he always gets
so mad at me. Maybe I'm saying the wrong
things.
But in my case I know it's the bipolar
that is barring us from communicating. I
guess I was lucky (or unlucky, depending
on how you look at it). I got to know my
husband before he had his first bipolar
episode. He had always been "normal" for
the years I've known him. And this is how
I know that we don't have a communication
problem - we've never had this problem
before his bipolar reared it's ugly d*mn
head. Plain and simple.
Have you, in previous relationships, had
the same problems?
Coal
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todd92371
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Dec 2007 Posts: 2
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Response Posted: 12-13-07 12:13pm
To be honest - I never have. Never have
loved someone so much as this person.
Never have taken the time to really work
and make things better. I do love her so.
I hate to hurt her and it kills me. I need
to learn how to just stop and slow down
and give her time to respond. It's so hard
at times. Never stop fighting for the ones
we love.
atticus
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BoneyardDiva
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Sep 2007 Posts: 72 Location: Nunya, USA
Posted: 12-13-07 21:52pm
It's really hard to tell whether this is
bipolar or not. Does your gf have a
diagnosis? My husband is bipolar, but I'm
usually the one who can't communicate
clearly.
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CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2396
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
Posted: 12-13-07 23:18pm
I know I get my mood swings ups and downs.
But, I've always seemed to be a passive
aggressive person. I let things build up
inside of me and when I blow OMG do I
blow. I does not happen that often but I
know it does go only with my Bipolar. The
other day I was in a down depressed mode
and all I wanted to do was rip all the
Chiristmas lights down off the windows,
the door, even take down the Christmas
tree. Yeah, this last weeks one was a bad
one for me. Over it for the time being now
thank goodness. I personally think we all
act out differently depending what our
normal behaviorlal patterns are. If
something normal for us then I feel
personal with BiPolar it will intensify
even more. Don't get me wrong, I don't go
around braking things. I just pick fights
with people that normally I would let go
an say nothng. Or just go into my room and
stay there for a whole day and sleep. The
symptoms vary so much between all of us.
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karabearva
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 9 Location: New Hampshire, New England-USA
Posted: 12-28-07 13:15pm
Whether it is bipolar or not bipolar, it
is great that you want to work on these
differing styles. I had the same problem
with my husband. We both worked on it and
are the better for it. They say if we are
both alike, then one of us is not
necessary. We grow because of our
differences.
My two cents
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
Posted: 12-29-07 12:30pm
I agree with Karabearva. Also, it seems
pretty normal to me that after two people
fight, (who are in a relationship) one
might be depressed for a while.