Teen Pregnancy Forum - Questions: Being a Supportive Boyfriend


Questions: Being a Supportive Boyfriend

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invalid

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Questions: Being a Supportive Boyfriend Posted: 12-19-07 02:25am


I guess I'll start out by thanking everyone in advance for taking the time to view or respond to this thread; I appreciate your assistance. I've been perusing through the Teen Pregnancy forum recently, as my girlfriend and I now have a situation of our own. I'll leave personal details out just for the sake of anonymity online... My girlfriend and I have been dating for well over a year and have been sexually active for a few months now. We had sex for the first time unprotected a few weeks ago. I'll begin to say that we are responsible the majority of times we have sex, although at the time and place this happened, a condom was not available and she wasn't on any form of BC. We went at it for about an hour, and I pulled out. I am aware that this is not a good 'method.' Her last period began on November 18, we had the unprotected sex on the 24th, and she usually follows a regular schedule with a cycle window of 26-30 days. However, since we began having sex (I am her first), she has mentioned that her periods come later on. Is this common? Now, it is December 19, and she has not had her period yet. I am concerned. As far as pregnancy tests, how long should she wait before the test will be accurate? She has been under a great deal of stress and has also been physically active with running recently. Could this impact her period? I've also done some statistical math as far as when she ovulates and there is a very slight chance that she was fertile during the 24th of November, although, things happen and I want to plan ahead and understand our options. Assuming she is pregnant, we both agree that we cannot raise a child in our current situation. We were both against abortion completely, although it's funny how our stance changed when we became the subject of the topic. As a loving, caring boyfriend of a beautiful girl, I want the best for her. I am concerned about her health should she go through with the pregnancy, as is she. I have researched options for abortion and believe that a the medication form is the most appropriate for her situation -- she is 16, I am 18. We live in New Jersey and want to keep this quiet from both our parents. Is this possible with some clinics? I ask that anyone please offer their insight, input, or comments... For any guy out there reading this, respect your girl. That's all I ask from you.

Jules

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Posted: 12-19-07 06:15am


First thing your girlfriend needs to do is take a pregnancy test. That way you will know whether you have to start thinking of abortion/adoption/keeping the baby scenarios. It could be that her cycle is just messed up. Whatever the result, learn from this experience and ALWAYS use birth control unless you want a baby.

young Girl

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Posted: 12-19-07 06:57am


she can take a test as soon as she misses her period no sex does not make your period come "later on" second THANK GOD you are such a responsible person. you dont see many boys expecially this age that want to learn about this kindof stuff and that care so geniuenly about a girl. this shows alot of maturity from you and shes very lucky to have you in her life! now- if she IS pregnant there are options. if you both do not wish to continue with the pregnancy then abortion may be one of your options. as well as adoption. or like jules said she could just be haveing an irregular period. it happens and its common remember shes young. her body may not alwys be "on time" with this kindof stuff and if you dont want kids ten dont have unprotected sex. plain and simple if theres no condom at the time then simply WAIT isnt that much easier than haveing to go through all of this? good luck!

krystineM

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Posted: 12-19-07 09:57am


she can also take a pregnancy test 4 days before her missed period you could put the baby up for adoption if your both against abortion, or there is always abortion..im against it but everyone has their own views. its nice to kno that she has such a supportive guy with her though, like girlfriend said not many guys this age would do what your doing, i dont think many of them would care. if you do want to keep it you should talk to your families maybe they can help with the decision you make too and maybe support you both..

Verizon-y

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Re: Questions: Being a Supportive Boyfriend
Posted: 12-19-07 11:59am

invalid wrote:

I guess I'll start out by thanking everyone in advance for taking the time to view or respond to this thread; I appreciate your assistance.

I've been perusing through the Teen Pregnancy forum recently, as my girlfriend and I now have a situation of our own. I'll leave personal details out just for the sake of anonymity online...

My girlfriend and I have been dating for well over a year and have been sexually active for a few months now. We had sex for the first time unprotected a few weeks ago.

I'll begin to say that we are responsible the majority of times we have sex, although at the time and place this happened, a condom was not available and she wasn't on any form of BC. We went at it for about an hour, and I pulled out. I am aware that this is not a good 'method.'

Her last period began on November 18, we had the unprotected sex on the 24th, and she usually follows a regular schedule with a cycle window of 26-30 days. However, since we began having sex (I am her first), she has mentioned that her periods come later on. Is this common?

Now, it is December 19, and she has not had her period yet. I am concerned. As far as pregnancy tests, how long should she wait before the test will be accurate?

She has been under a great deal of stress and has also been physically active with running recently. Could this impact her period?

I've also done some statistical math as far as when she ovulates and there is a very slight chance that she was fertile during the 24th of November, although, things happen and I want to plan ahead and understand our options.

Assuming she is pregnant, we both agree that we cannot raise a child in our current situation. We were both against abortion completely, although it's funny how our stance changed when we became the subject of the topic.

As a loving, caring boyfriend of a beautiful girl, I want the best for her. I am concerned about her health should she go through with the pregnancy, as is she. I have researched options for abortion and believe that a the medication form is the most appropriate for her situation -- she is 16, I am 18.

We live in New Jersey and want to keep this quiet from both our parents. Is this possible with some clinics?

I ask that anyone please offer their insight, input, or comments...

For any guy out there reading this, respect your girl. That's all I ask from you.

Planned Parenthood Association of the Mercer Area

East State Street

437 East State Street
Trenton, NJ 08608
(609) 599-4881

Hamilton Square
Golden Crest Corporate Center
2279 Route 33 - Suite 510
Hamilton Square, NJ 08690
(609) 689-4964

TCNJ
Eickhoff Hall, Room 140
The College of New Jersey
(609) 771-2110

Do you offer the abortion pill?

Yes.

How far into a pregnancy do you offer abortion?

We perform surgical abortions for women who are 5 weeks to 13.6 weeks into their pregnancy and medication abortions (abortion by pill) for women 4 to 8 weeks into their pregnancy. We also provide referral services to centers that perform surgical abortions after 14 weeks.

How much does an abortion cost?

Both surgical and medical abortions cost $410. This cost includes ultrasound, lab work, surgery, all medications, and a follow-up visit. We accept cash and credit cards, but no personal checks. We also accept most major types of insurance.

Additional costs could include:

If you have Rh negative blood, you may need a special shot (which costs $55-$110 extra) to protect future pregnancies.

Birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancies in the future. Contraception costs range between $17-$22, depending on the contraception you choose.

If I am under 18, do I need parental consent or parental notification for an abortion?

No, in New Jersey, minors do not need to notify their parent(s) or get their parent(s) consent.

Is abortion safe?

Yes, first trimester abortions are about twice as safe as having your tonsils removed and 11 times safer than childbirth.

Verizon-y

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Re: Questions: Being a Supportive Boyfriend
Posted: 12-19-07 12:11pm

invalid wrote:

Assuming she is pregnant, we both agree that we cannot raise a child in our current situation. We were both against abortion completely, although it's funny how our stance changed when we became the subject of the topic.

That happens to many people. It can be one of those situations where, unless you are facing it, it's hard to understand.

invalid wrote:

As a loving, caring boyfriend of a beautiful girl, I want the best for her. I am concerned about her health should she go through with the pregnancy, as is she. I have researched options for abortion and believe that a the medication form is the most appropriate for her situation -- she is 16, I am 18.

Agreed.

invalid wrote:

We live in New Jersey and want to keep this quiet from both our parents. Is this possible with some clinics?

Yes. See the info in my previous post in this thread. If the clinics are not close enough to you, call them anyway and ask them if they know of a closer place.

invalid wrote:

I ask that anyone please offer their insight, input, or comments...

For any guy out there reading this, respect your girl. That's all I ask from you.

I commend your rational thinking about this. You are handling this situation exactly as I did when I was in a similar situation when I was younger, and also how I wish my own child would if she were ever faced with this situation.

Best wishes.

invalid

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Posted: 12-20-07 10:19am


Thanks for the replies; I will update you as soon as she takes a test...

16 father

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Posted: 12-20-07 21:29pm


It seems your so concerned that your parents don't find out... If her parents are opposed to abortion then you will cause her plenty of damage later when they find out. Assuming she is pregnant, we both agree that we cannot raise a child in our current situation--- Forgetting adoption?

16 father

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Posted: 12-20-07 21:31pm


As many people know taking responsibility isn't always the easiest path...but so much more rewarding. You hide from both sets of parents.... something about hiding doesn't seem responsible.

invalid

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Posted: 12-20-07 22:28pm


Her health may be an issue if she gives birth, and adoption would not be an option if this is the case. We would speak to our parents when the time is more appropriate. It's hard for you to say it's irresponsible when you don't know the situation. UPDATE, she began menstruating this morning. My appreciation goes out to everyone. Maybe this can be used as lesson to those taking risks... Best wishes; safe and happy holidays to all.

Verizon-y

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Posted: 12-20-07 23:06pm


Thanks for updating us. I'm very happy for you both!

young Girl

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Posted: 12-20-07 23:15pm


yay!!!!!! have you both been tetsted for stds?

invalid

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Posted: 12-20-07 23:17pm


We're both STD clean

young Girl

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Posted: 12-20-07 23:21pm


good!!!!!! im happy for you both!!!!!! let this be a huge lesson learned eh?

invalid

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Posted: 12-20-07 23:25pm


Yeah, playing it safe seems to be less of a heartache right now. I don't want to go through something like this again, and I'm sure my girlfriend feels the same. Seeing the look on her face when she told me that she got her period was such a relief. Lesson learned. Any advice on BC for the future?

young Girl

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Posted: 12-20-07 23:29pm

invalid wrote:

Yeah, playing it safe seems to be less of a heartache right now. I don't want to go through something like this again, and I'm sure my girlfriend feels the same.

Seeing the look on her face when she told me that she got her period was such a relief.

Lesson learned.

Any advice on BC for the future?

oh theres soo many kinds of birth control
may i make a suggestion?(because im a 16 yr old mother...its HARD) use TWO forms of BC

like the pill (nuvaring,patch,shot,etc) AND condoms
that would be even better Smile

and she can get birth control without her parenst knowing at planned parenthood Smile

or she could get it at a OBGYN Very
Happy

Verizon-y

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Posted: 12-20-07 23:37pm

invalid wrote:

Honestly, given the way you two reacted in this situation, (and there is nothing wrong with the way you reacted) there is no birth control out there that will be worry-free. There is a slight chance of pregnancy no matter what you use. I'd just hold off on the sexual intercourse part until your lives won't end if she gets pregnant.

There are many ways to be close and sexual with each other without risking pregnancy, wink wink. Smile

anniek

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Posted: 12-21-07 09:12am


Very well said future! But yes as girlfriend said you would be better off using two forms. I would say the patch, the ring, or the shot would be great because you have a lesser chance of forgetting. Glad to know everything has turned out well. Happy Holidays to you as well.

jessamyn

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Posted: 12-31-07 16:55pm


Great infor future shock! Has she tested yet? Aside from condoms... a woman should be responsible and care about her own body... she should be taking BC whether she is sexually active or not. If you are not ready to have children the precautions should be taken. You can get BC for free now a days or pay or a prescription. Good luck to the both of you!