I had debilitating almost daily migraines during both of my pregnancies. My doctors prescribed T3s at first and then switched me to hydrocodone to keep my BP from skyrocketing from the migraine, which is way worse for the baby. I was also given demerol, percocet (oxycodone), morphine, phenergan and dolgic plus at various stages.
If you have access to scholarly journal articles, you can read up on actual studies, which put my mind at ease. The association between cleft palate and codeine is weak at best. Results are inconsistent across studies and as my doctors noted, there is strong evidence that the women who give birth to these babies (with defects) have other problems related to their NEED for Tylenol (chicken before egg kind of thing)...e.g., a woman on T3 also has a script for Zoloft and depression, or poor eating habits because she's feeling poorly, or both, etc.
I was scared at first but I read the science and trusted my docs. My baby boy is now 1 year old and in perfect health...born the day he was supposed to be induced...8 lbs 13 oz.; now he says more than 30 words at 1 week past a year and is way ahead of the game on development.
Your miscarriages, though heartbreaking, were a coincidence. 1 of 3 pregnancies miscarry, ladies, it sucks. I lost my first pregnancy 4 months in and really wanted someone or something to blame, but we lost our daughter because a run-of-the-mill urinary tract infection polluted her amniotic sac and caused preterm labor. Autopsy showed that she was perfectly healthy and actually above average. Ironically, pharmaceuticals could have saved her if we had only known early enough.
Trust your docs. You don't have to be a martyr while pregnant and suffer for your baby. Decades of results have shown the safety and efficacy of these meds during pregnancy.