My mother-in-law passed in June and my
father-in-law met another woman. They've
been dating for 2 weeks and he wants her
to move into the house that he has yet to
sleep in b/c it reminds him too much of my
mil. He feels as though he deserved to be
happy and in his mind as much as he loved
my mil their relationship was emotionally
over YEARS ago. Well, his 7 children,
daughter/son-in laws, and grandchildren
are a little upset with all this being
that it's the holidays and our first x-mas
without her. It's also a little
disturbing about the moving in after only
2 weeks of knowing her thing.
This is how I feel. As much as it'll hurt
to see him with someone else we need to
all understand that she will NEVER take
the place of their mother and he does need
to live his life and be happy. I also
feel like this is way too rushed and way
too soon. We've asked to keep her away
until after the holidays. He said okay
that he understood, but keeps asking if we
changed our minds b/c he wants her to meet
us.
Jesse's pretty quiet about this, but what
he does say is that he never wants to meet
her and she's never allowed in our house.
He also said that if she shows up for
x-mas at his brother's house, we're
leaving. I feel the same way about
leaving for x-mas.
We'll be too emotional to begin with and
bringing her there will just be like
pouring salt on a wound.
What do you guys think? Has anyone
experienced this? This is hard!
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yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005 Posts: 5554 Location: FL
Posted: 12-20-07 20:58pm
id say its way to soon. his heart maybe
healed but obviously jesses isnt n he
shouldnt try forcing her on him. if he
asks if your gunna chage your mind again
id say, no and ill let you know if i do so
stop asking!
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 12-20-07 21:00pm
I can see where everyone is coming from.
They are used to seeing him with their
mother and it would be weird to see him
with someone else, like he's being
unfaithful or something. It would have to
hurt to see your dad with someone else so
soon after his wife passed.
I think it is a little rushed, but he
deserves to be happy. He must be so
lonley and sad and if this woman gives him
some peace and happiness more power to
him. Maybe she told him before she passed
on that she wanted him to find love again.
My parents split up when I was 21 and my
dad shacked up with some woman he knew
when he was young. I didn't like the idea
of it at first, but he deserved to be
happy.
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jessesgirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 2877
Thanks: 16
Thanked:3
Posted: 12-20-07 21:01pm
Well, in the family there's 7 kids, all
are married, and there's about 15
grandkids. Everyone's in an uproar about
it. Christmas will be interesting. Right
now he's living with Jesse's oldest
brother, so they're hearing and talking to
him most about it.
His heart is healed and he can't
understand why his kids can't move on.
That's not only their mom, she was our mom
too. It still hurts everyday and I feel
like accepting it right now would be
disrespectful to my mother-in-law.
The wounds are still fresh and he needs to
understand that.
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Katrinadoodle
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2007 Posts: 1231
Posted: 12-20-07 21:18pm
I think what he does in his private life
is up to him, and the family should
respect that. I don't think it's too soon
for him to have a new woman, if he feels
he is ready.
However, I think he needs to respect his
children and grandchildren's feelings, and
keep his new girl away from them until
they've healed a little. I'm sure once
your family has mourned your mil, they'll
be more open to at least meeting this
woman, if not accepting her.. and your fil
needs to be patient.
He also should NOT try to force her on the
family. I think you are completely
justified in choosing to leave if she does
come.... as long as you explain to your
fil that you just don't feel comfortable
sharing Christmas, which is a time for
family, with his new woman while you are
still feeling so much pain from the
passing of your mil.
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jessesgirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 2877
Thanks: 16
Thanked:3
Posted: 12-20-07 21:23pm
Yes, I completely want him to be happy and
not lonely for the rest of his life, but
out of respect for us he needs to keep her
a way for at least a few more months.
We're worried too b/c he's only known her
for 2 weeks and they want to move in
together!
And no my mother-in-law was not a nice
woman to my father-in-law, so I know that
she didn't give him consent. lol But
again, you never know with her.
When it rains, it pours.
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Sandbox Party
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2006 Posts: 7276
Posted: 12-20-07 23:33pm
2 weeks!?
wow..
on one hand, i want to say hes an adult
and its not technically anyones business
what he does with his personal life.. but
on the otherhand, its like, hello, ur
rushing into that way too fast and being
COMPLETELY irresponsible.. hello set the
example!
6 months ago she died, and he's only known
this new woman for 2 weeks? I think he
needs time to himself to mend his broken
heart. Whether or not they were in love,
love still existed, right?
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jessesgirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 2877
Thanks: 16
Thanked:3
Posted: 12-21-07 08:14am
Yes, and I completely agree that he's an
adult in his 60s and he CAN do what he
wants, but have respect for his family and
wait a while before you bring her around.
