I Dont Want to Be Here Anymore Posted: 12-21-07 15:21pm
i dont want to sound all ''woe me'' but
gosh do i want to go to sleep and never
wake up. I feel my life is out of hand and
everyone is against me and i'm not sayin
this because it sounds exaggerated, it
just is.
I was in love jus over half a year ago but
broke it off because i found evidence that
he hadn't been faithful. This was a
complete brake of trust and i'm still
heart broken. I say i've moved on, and i'm
with a new person now, but its only
arguemnts and tears. I believe i love him,
yet i wonder was it only because he was
there wen i was heart broken? he says he
loves me and he does so much for me yet i
cant let myself lose him or get connected
to him.
My dad left my mum before i can remember.
I never see him now.
My mum hates my bf. I can not come hm from
a night out without her screaming at him,
insultin me, insulting him...she snaped my
fone one time, chucked me out the house,
lashed out...I dont want to go hm, there
is no love there.
I'm not doin well from school. I used to
be really studious n get the grades but
naw i'm dragin me along n bareli scrapin
the grades i need to pass. i'm gettin my
uni offers but what do they mean?
I cry most days, the slightest things can
set me off.
I cut my self wen i'm upset. Everythin
makes me so so numb i hav a need to feel
and the pain can stop the cryin and make
me focus on the pain. My arm is scared.
I am spendin money i dont have. I just
spent £200 on mybf for xmas, too much,
but he says hes spent more n i feel so
kicked down.
I feel like a loner. I dont feel i hav
anyone to speak to. Its either my bf or no
one and i cant turn to him every time.
I dont have any one and i feel like a
mistake to everyone else. I jus dont want
to be here anymore
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marvel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 1104 Location: Toronto, Ontario (but only a private message away)
Thanks: 50
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Posted: 12-21-07 22:17pm
Hi, NaTalii. Thanks for sharing your
story.
I know what it feels like to go to sleep
and not want to wake up.
I use to self-injure as well. The
adrenaline rush I got from it made me
forget everything. It was a very unhealthy
and vicious cycle... I know it's hard.
do you have anyone you can talk to at
school or with your doctor? This is
something that you have to work hard at.
You're going to have to make some big
changes in your life, too. Positive, big
changes. There are always people to
support you... especially on here!
If you ever need to talk to any of us
privately, you can private message us any
time!
