Joined: 12 Dec 2007 Posts: 674 Location: Northern California,
I Was a Teenage Mom Posted: 12-21-07 18:26pm
I normally wouldn't share some of this,
but it breaks my heart to see so many
young girl TRYING to have a baby.
When I was just 17 I was in love for the
first time, or atleast I thought I was. He
was that super hot "bad" boy that every
girl falls for and I thought I knew
everything.
I got pregnant on the week of my 18th
birthday. We didn't use birth control, I
guess because I was dumb enough to think
it wasn't going to happen to me. He of
course, was not the least bit happy about
the pregnancy.
Within the first few months of my
pregnancy, he started heavily using and
selling drugs and I became his physical
and emotional punching bag. I went into
preterm labor at just 5 months along. I
spent 2 months in the hospital, then 2
more in a bed at my parents house.
My son (now 10) was born 6 weeks early, to
a mother with no job, no home of her own
and no idea how to support or take care of
anybody much less a new born. He's never
had a real father.
I'm not saying this will happen to all of
you, but it WILL happen to some of you. I
know being pregnant looks like so much
fun. You get tons of attention (most of it
bad), babies are soooo cute (sometimes).
The reality of it is you will lose most of
your friends and you will lose all of your
freedom. Other girls your age will be
dating, going to prom, learning to drive,
going to parties or shopping, planning a
future. And you will be, up all night,
probably covered in stretch marks, trying
to calm a very fussy baby, trying to
figure out how you're going to pay for
diapers and very likely wishing you had
made a different decision.
Its not "cute" to be 14 and pregnant, its
sad. Sad for the mother, and even sadder
for the innocent baby.
What happend to me won't change anyone's
mind I know but, maybe it will make some
of you think. There is pleanty of time
when you're grown to have and truely enjoy
the lives you can create.
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anniek
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Sep 2007 Posts: 425 Location: , Iowa Usa
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Posted: 12-21-07 18:29pm
Well said! I wouldnt trade what I have but
I would have never tried for it either.
I'm sorry you had such a hard time But good for you
for speaking out!
Take care!
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O0o0h_baby
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Dec 2007 Posts: 674 Location: Northern California,
Posted: 12-21-07 18:34pm
I can say, that my life improved VERY
much. I went to college, and I fell in
love for real and got married, but I had
to grow up SO fast. I'm 29 now and my
husband and I are expecting our 4th baby.
PLEASE girls wait until your older, its
such a better experience when you're
really ready for it.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 12-22-07 04:59am
awsome hun thanks fir shareing
this!!!!!!!
i just hope they read it
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
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Posted: 12-23-07 22:24pm
Most will read it and ignore it or go into
denial, "Oh, that won't happen to me."
Why is that? What are these teens
thinking? Are they thinking that they are
going to marry the baby's father someday
soon and live happily ever after?
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O0o0h_baby
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Dec 2007 Posts: 674 Location: Northern California,
Posted: 12-23-07 22:33pm
Everybody always thinks "It won't happen
to me". I stopped saying that entirely
when my house burned down. In any case, I
know personally I never expected to marry
my sons father and I don't think marriage
is why they want to get pregnant at all.
It's because it "looks" fun.
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prettygirlygirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 Posts: 213
Re: I Was a Teenage Mom Posted: 12-24-07 02:39am
O0o0h_baby
wrote:
Within the first few months
of my pregnancy, he started heavily using
and selling drugs and I became his
physical and emotional punching bag. I
went into preterm labor at just 5 months
along. I spent 2 months in the hospital,
then 2 more in a bed at my parents house.
My son (now 10) was born 6 weeks early, to
a mother with no job, no home of her own
and no idea how to support or take care of
anybody much less a new born. He's never
had a real father.
I'm not saying this will happen to all of
you, but it WILL happen to some of
you..
It happened to me. I was many years
younger (13), my kid isn't anywhere near
10 (she's 3) but the story is the same.
It breaks my heart to read about kids
actually trying to have children. Its a
really hard road and I just don't think
that there are many that understand just
how hard it is. Given the option I
wouldn't do it again, not a chance. I
would have waited another 10 years for my
daughter.
I didn't even care about friends, proms,
or whatever. I just wasn't mature enough
for the stress, heartache and sheer
exhaustion of being a parent. I don't
think anyone that makes the choice to
become a teenage mother is.
Quote:
babies are soooo
cute (sometimes).
Oh! Did you get one of those? I think I
did too! I look back at pictures and think
that she was so freaking cute, but I just
don't remember it! I think I was too busy
looking for my next nap, cleaning puke
everything I owned and dealing with the
kind of poop explosions that go from baby
knees to baby neck. That wasn't cute.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
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Posted: 12-24-07 09:53am
THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL! I don't
remember it either. I thought I was the
only one. (And I was not a teen mom, I
was about as prepared as could be).
Thanks for sharing that.
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rosejackson
Supporter
Joined: 23 Dec 2005 Posts: 4351 Location: hertfordshire, england
Thanks: 7
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Posted: 12-24-07 16:52pm
well said
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O0o0h_baby
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Dec 2007 Posts: 674 Location: Northern California,
Re: I Was a Teenage Mom Posted: 12-24-07 17:11pm
Prettygirlygirl,
I'm so sorry hun, as hard as it was at 18,
I can't imagine how much worse it was at
13. If it weren't for my family I can say
honestly, I would never have made it, and
certainly wouldn't be where I am today.
You are now wise beyond your years.
Feel free to PM me if you ever want to
talk =)
~Misty
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Verizon-y
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Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
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Posted: 12-24-07 18:18pm
Prettygirlygirl,
What did your parents do when you got
pregnant at 13? How old was the boy? Is
he around now? How did you handle all of
that physical pain?
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letdown_beautiful
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 4 Location: South windsor, ct usa
Im 17 And Pregnant Posted: 12-28-07 16:46pm
Hey I just thought id leave a post here,
I'm getting alot of negative energy off
this post, and I'd like to say that yes,
its stupid to want a baby at a young age,
but i'm 17 and 5 months pregnant, i had
wanted a baby before but i wasnt trying to
get pregnant particuarly, i could have
easily prevented it if i wanted to though.
But, on the other hand, i guess im lucky
because my boyfriend has agreed to stay
with me and that even if we do break up
for any reason he will always be there for
the child. I work a part-time job and go
to school and will soon be attending a
school for teens with children where they
have a daycare facility at the school. My
boyfriend got a better job, making a
little over $500 a week. And i've changed
my whole life around and i have a entirely
new mindset of life. Of course i would
love to have waited at least until i
graduated high school, i ovbiously never
thought about that.. But for those girls
out there who are young and pregnant the
last thing they need to hear is that they
are stupid and/or selfish for wanting to
give life to the child they created rather
than have an abortion. I'm not one of
those religious freaks, and i do believe
that everyone has a choice to do what they
want, but honestly i think its alot more
responsible to fix your mistakes instead
of 'erasing them' if that makes any sense.
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O0o0h_baby
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Dec 2007 Posts: 674 Location: Northern California,
Posted: 12-28-07 17:06pm
I'm sorry you took my post personally, but
it really has nothing to do with you what
so ever. If you think you're ready that's
fine but there is NO 13 or 14 year old in
the world who is ready. My post wasn't to
the girls who are already pregnant, it was
to the girls who trying to get pregnant.
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jessesgirl
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Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 2877
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Re: Im 17 And Pregnant Posted: 12-28-07 17:16pm
letdown_beautiful
wrote:
Hey I just thought id leave
a post here, I'm getting alot of negative
energy off this post, and I'd like to say
that yes, its stupid to want a baby at a
young age, but i'm 17 and 5 months
pregnant, i had wanted a baby before but i
wasnt trying to get pregnant particuarly,
i could have easily prevented it if i
wanted to though. But, on the other hand,
i guess im lucky because my boyfriend has
agreed to stay with me and that even if we
do break up for any reason he will always
be there for the child. I work a part-time
job and go to school and will soon be
attending a school for teens with children
where they have a daycare facility at the
school. My boyfriend got a better job,
making a little over $500 a week. And i've
changed my whole life around and i have a
entirely new mindset of life. Of course i
would love to have waited at least until i
graduated high school, i ovbiously never
thought about that.. But for those girls
out there who are young and pregnant the
last thing they need to hear is that they
are stupid and/or selfish for wanting to
give life to the child they created rather
than have an abortion. I'm not one of
those religious freaks, and i do believe
that everyone has a choice to do what they
want, but honestly i think its alot more
responsible to fix your mistakes instead
of 'erasing them' if that makes any
sense.
You will understand what you wrote after
you have the baby.
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-elizabeth-
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2007 Posts: 117 Location: Canada
Posted: 12-28-07 17:37pm
Whoa, okay. First I just want to say, to
all the teen moms who posted on this topic
in particular, and especially to Misty; I
can't even begin to appreciate how hard it
must be to be a teen parent, though for
the last little while I've began to start
thinking about it, based on the fact that
I may be pregnant right now. You all are
very strong women.
I don't understand why letdown_beautiful
got so upset. From what I can tell, it IS
a lot of working raising a baby at a young
age, and it is unspeakably difficult
especially if chances are you will be
raising him/her by yourself. You seem to
be lucky...you can still work and go to
school, and you have a boyfriend who is
currently loyal to you, working in order
to provide a solid future for your baby.
Misty's point was that NOT TOO MANY GIRLS
HAVE WHAT YOU HAVE. She wasn't critisizing
your judgement, or your future parenting
skills..if you recall, she was a teen
mother too. AT THE SAME AGE YOU ARE AT
NOW. She didn't 'erase' her 'mistakes', so
why are you using that defense? Not that
you need a defence...because she wasn't
attacking you, or people like you, in the
least. She was sharing her own difficult
experience in the hopes that a young girl
will read it, and perhaps decide that her
desire to get pregnant, and have a 'cute'
baby, will be better placed a few years
down the road, when she is a responsible
adult and has a career and home of her
own.
Thank you again for sharing your
experience, Misty, and I'm so happy to
hear about your baby #4 coming soon.
- Lily
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yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005 Posts: 5554 Location: FL
Re: Im 17 And Pregnant Posted: 12-28-07 18:12pm
letdown_beautiful
wrote:
Hey I just thought id leave
a post here, I'm getting alot of negative
energy off this post, and I'd like to say
that yes, its stupid to want a baby at a
young age, but i'm 17 and 5 months
pregnant, i had wanted a baby before but i
wasnt trying to get pregnant particuarly,
i could have easily prevented it if i
wanted to though. But, on the other hand,
i guess im lucky because my boyfriend has
agreed to stay with me and that even if we
do break up for any reason he will always
be there for the child. I work a part-time
job and go to school and will soon be
attending a school for teens with children
where they have a daycare facility at the
school. My boyfriend got a better job,
making a little over $500 a week. And i've
changed my whole life around and i have a
entirely new mindset of life. Of course i
would love to have waited at least until i
graduated high school, i ovbiously never
thought about that.. But for those girls
out there who are young and pregnant the
last thing they need to hear is that they
are stupid and/or selfish for wanting to
give life to the child they created rather
than have an abortion. I'm not one of
those religious freaks, and i do believe
that everyone has a choice to do what they
want, but honestly i think its alot more
responsible to fix your mistakes instead
of 'erasing them' if that makes any
sense.
woo you obivously misread something,
probably due to pregancy brain but the
original poster never said ANYONE should
abort their baby, and she didnt say you
were dumb for being pregnant. Her point
was to let the girls who come here and say
"im 14 n my bf n i r in love yada yada we
want a baby" they need to rethink and be a
teenager first. I know your new here but
youll eventually start to see what she
means, weekly someone will come on here
with the story of WANTING to be pregnant
at 13 14 15. And youll also see alot of
girls are or were teen moms so we all
understand. In fact there are several
girls who were in your situation a year
ago and life has totally change.
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O0o0h_baby
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Dec 2007 Posts: 674 Location: Northern California,
Posted: 12-28-07 18:22pm
I know that young moms can be great moms,
I just think you get to enjoy your
children growing up soooo much more when
life is a little easier.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
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Posted: 12-28-07 19:14pm
O0o0h_baby
wrote:
I know that young moms can
be great moms, I just think you get to
enjoy your children growing up soooo much
more when life is a little
easier.
Exactly. It is even better if you are in
a committed relationship, preferably
marriage as that is statistically a much
stronger bond,. It will be much more
likely that the child will have a father
around, because in many cases he wanted a
child, too.
It is also better for you and the father
to finish your educations first, because
you are much more likely to get a job that
you enjoy which pays a decent wage than if
you are uneducated. Young teens that get
pregnant before the guy has finished his
education are dooming the guy (and
themselves) to minimum wage, dead end
jobs.
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Altari
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Nov 2007 Posts: 127 Location: Chicago, IL USA
Posted: 12-28-07 19:31pm
futureshock
wrote:
Young teens that get
pregnant before the guy has finished his
education are dooming the guy (and
themselves) to minimum wage, dead end
jobs.
I'm kind of surprised to see you say that
[about 'the guy'].
Another problem, I've seen, with many teen
mothers is that they depend on the
boyfriend/spouse. Now, no one get angry,
I'm not pointing fingers. This is my
personal experience with people that I
know and know of.
On Christmas Eve, I actually had a nice
little sit down with my grandma, who,
though she never really valued education
highly, wanted to make sure that, no
matter what, I finish college. She said,
"You never know when things will stop
going as planned and you'll have to
support your girls."
If my husband were to leave, or die, or
become paralyzed, I would need to support
the family. With my current level of
education (being half an associates
degree) that seems unlikely. I, as a
mother, need to protect my children above
all. That means planning for the
possibility that hubby won't always be
around.
That ends my rant on why girls must get
degrees. Thank you. =)
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
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Posted: 12-28-07 19:52pm
Excellent rant, Altari. Now why was my
post surprising?
But good for you
for speaking out!
