I am usually on the Asthma boards of this
forum, but I'm so depressed and alone
right now.
I am 43 years old and have severe asthma.
I have been sick for weeks, with wheezing,
shortness of breath, chest tightness,
coughing, etc. I am on many medications
for my condition. I also have been
diagnosed as being bipolar II and
depressed and have hypothyroidism and type
II diabetes.
I have over $250,000 in student loan debt
hanging over my head. My monthly payments
on student loans alone totals almost
$2000, and that's on a graduated payment
system. I went to law school and have a
law degree, but I didn't pass the Bar exam
in my state and so can't work as an
attorney. The bipolar diagnosis doesn't
help much in the work department either.
I also went to graduate school to become a
counselor (how ironic!) but I did not
finish. I have been trying to go back to
school for health information technology,
so I can work as a medical biller and
coder, but I don't really have any
interest in the career. It would just be
a way to pay my loans. (It would only pay
about $22,000 a year, which doesn't help
much with my debt load.) Now I don't know
if I'll even be able to go back to school,
much less work.
I don't know what to do. I've dug myself
a hole and now I have to lie in it. I've
got all this student loan debt, and now
I'm sick, and I don't know how I'll ever
pay it back. I am married, but my husband
is of no help or comfort at all. He just
says that he doesn't exactly feel healthy
either, and that he doesn't want to go to
work, but that's the way life is and I'd
better just suck it up.
I feel so alone-no one else could possibly
have been stupid enough to rack up so much
student loan debt. I feel hopeless, like
there is no way out of this mess. I don't
know where to turn. I am sorry if I sound
like I'm wallowing in self-pity. I just
feel as if I'm at the bottom of a pit, and
there's no way out.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 12-25-07 21:38pm
your husband first off needs to be helping
you
hun its so easy to get depressed and feel
down expecially this time of year.
why did you go to school to become a
counselor? obviously youre a very smart
thoughtful person that cares so much for
others. and you must have a good head on
your shoulders to be able to help people
like that.
sometimes i get sad too and i ju8st have
to stop and think about it all. its alot
to take in what your going through. life
can be extremely extremely rough.
you are a very very intelligent strong
willed person. dont let thigs get you
downa nd make you sad. hang in there ok?
life gets better
merry christmas
ill be on all night if you still need to
talk
-suzy
|
kellysmum
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Dec 2007 Posts: 9 Location: ,
Suzy-thanks For the Words of Encouragement Posted: 12-26-07 19:27pm
Yes, my husband needs to be helping, but
he's not a very compassionate person.
I am feeling a little bit better today.
It's nice to know there are people out
there like you who will listen and offer
encouragement.
I think I've realized that what I need to
do is to re-register to take the Bar exam
next summer, and to make up my mind to
pass it-if I'm physically able by then to
take it, that is. If I pass the Bar exam,
I can practice law, and then I'll be able
to make enough money to pay back all those
student loans.
Thing is, I went to school to become a
counselor because I disliked law so much.
I wanted to help people, and believe me,
as a lawyer, you don't do a lot of
helping. Part of me has always been
interested in counseling as a profession.
I'm also kind of wondering if I shouldn't
look in to going back to school online and
finishing my graduate degree in
counseling. I wouldn't make as much
money, but at least it would be a
rewarding field.
Anyway, I am trying to hang in there. I
just get so depressed and panciky
sometimes, and I don't know where to turn.
Thank God for the Internet. Thanks
again, and I hope I don't sound too needy
if I offer my email: It's [edit for
personal information] if you ever want to
communicate directly. I promise I'm
normal and not an axe-murderer or
anything.
