Ok, so i don't know what to do. I feel
ashamed really, and I know that most
people on this forum would tell me that I
shouldn't be, but because of my strong
religious background, I am. The moment I
tried to walk to my kindergarten classroom
in my mother’s high-heeled shoes, I knew
something was wrong. I wasn’t an
ordinary boy, and it was in my elementary
school’s third-grade production of the
“Billy Goat’s Gruff” that my
suspensions were confirmed; I was born in
the wrong body--my request to change my
costume from “Billy” to “Betty”
did seem a little peculiar to my teacher.
I mean I love to wear women's clothing and
participate in most other female oriented
activities, but most of the time, I feel
like I have a misconstrued identity, and I
feel ashamed. Masturbation, gay
pornography, the things that I have
criticized play a role in my own life, and
that is something I'm not proud of, but I
can't help it, and I'm afraid that I won't
be able to do this anymore. I don't want
to hide who I am, but at the same time, I
struggle with accepting it. My parents,
who have confided me, supported me, raised
me, and are proud of me, will only reject
me if they ever found out that I was
homosexual. I really need some advice.
Thanks
|
marvel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 1099 Location: Toronto, Ontario (but only a private message away)
Thanks: 50
Thanked:8
Posted: 12-27-07 00:41am
Hi, foresakenhope. I'm Zak. I'm gay as
well.
I was raised Catholic, and though my
family was totally and unconditionally
supportive of me when I came out of the
closet, the community around me had some
pretty bad reactions.
Never, ever, ever sacrifice who you are
for anyone... including your family. A
family is supposed to unconditionally love
you and support you when it comes to your
deepest desires, secrets, aspirations and
goals.
Homosexuality is not wrong. It is not a
disease. It is not something that
automatically da mns you to an awful
place. It is not sick, twisted, backwards,
an infliction or a product of bad
parenting. It is NOT, above all, something
to be ashamed of. I think you are well
aware of this.
Be true to yourself.
If you ever, ever need to talk, don't
hesitate to private message me. I will
respond as soon as I possibly can.
Be Well!
-Zak
|
JYoungBear
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2007 Posts: 148 Location: , MA
Thanks: 35
Thanked:15
Posted: 12-29-07 11:25am
Zak has it right!
However, I am kinda in the same shoes as
you are. I am 30, been dating guys for
about 6 months now. I am accepting of the
fact that I am gay, however, I still have
that challenge where I need to come out to
my close friends and family. This in
itself is a hurdle that I will need to
jump when the time is right, and do it for
myself.
Part of me moving away from friends/family
for the time being is due to this - I need
to be in a place where I know I have the
support of those around me when that time
arises to finally bring myself out of the
closet.
As Zak said, family are to unconditionally
love and support you for who you are. If
they choose to reject you, they are not
looking into the person you are, if
anything, they have a more skewed sense of
who you should be. I am appreciative of
the fact my parents can accept the changes
I make to my life, and that is something I
will bring to the table when the time
comes for me to come out about my
sexuality.
Also, another point - homosexuality is NOT
wrong. That is what makes you, well...
YOU. You have your attractions, and you
should not be afraid to explore those
attractions. If I had not chose to date
my first man back in July, I don't know
where I would be at this point in time.
|
homerx
Moderator
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 3258 Location: , USA
Thanks: 377
Thanked:1135
Posted: 01-29-08 18:25pm
Be who you are..be real....your OK just
the way God made you.
|
Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 512 Location: U.K,
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-29-08 19:04pm
Isn't it sad that in the 21st century we
are still in a situation whereby grown-up
men and women are afraid to tell their
parents that they are gay? There are so
many, many wrongs in the world fuelled by
hatred, ignorace and bigotry. If people
can love each other - regardless of
gender, race or religion - then surely
that is a cause for celebration and not
for censure, is it not?
|
homerx
Moderator
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 3258 Location: , USA
Thanks: 377
Thanked:1135
Posted: 01-29-08 19:18pm
Yes,shonster, there are much bigger issues
in this world than who is loving
who...some straight people don't want gay
people to be free for some reason. I don't
know if its fear or what but they are
gonna have to deal with us cuz we are not
going back into the closet!!
|
JYoungBear
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2007 Posts: 148 Location: , MA
Thanks: 35
Thanked:15
Posted: 01-29-08 19:48pm
homerx
wrote:
Yes,shonster, there are much
bigger issues in this world than who is
loving who...some straight people don't
want gay people to be free for some
reason. I don't know if its fear or what
but they are gonna have to deal with us
cuz we are not going back into the
closet!!
Exactly!!
Even though I am not out, those that I am
around now in my new home (just moved a
couple weeks ago) know of me being gay,
and it helps me to be myself more. This
also helps me to build up the courage to
finally tell my parents and close friends
about what I am all about, and to accept
their reactions. The way I see it is, I
can come into this being civil, real, and
not caring about what others think of me.
Can these people do the same, especially
the two people who brought me into and
raised me in this world?
I am still very good friends with my
ex-boyfriend, who has been a great
inspiration to me (still is after our
breakup) to accept myself for who I am, to
make my life as successful as I can make
it, to find someone to love the same way I
loved him, and to ultimately, be myself.
Fearing who you are is the worst feeling
in the world. Knowing who you are gives
you a great sense of pride, that noone can
take away from you.
|
Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 512 Location: U.K,
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-29-08 19:56pm
'Fearing who you are is the worst feeling
in the world. Knowing who you are gives
you a great sense of pride, that noone can
take away from you.'
I like those words. Very insightful.
You'll be okay!
|
homerx
Moderator
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 3258 Location: , USA
Thanks: 377
Thanked:1135
Posted: 02-11-08 12:26pm
shonster
wrote:
'Fearing who you are is the
worst feeling in the world. Knowing who
you are gives you a great sense of pride,
that noone can take away from you.'
I like those words. Very insightful.
You'll be
okay!
That's just from a quick google search.
There are a ton of resources out there; if
you need more help finding a specific
forum or site for your particular
religion, let me know!!
|
homerx
Moderator
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 3258 Location: , USA
Thanks: 377
Thanked:1135
Posted: 02-12-08 13:50pm
LOVE the gay Buddhist site
|
JYoungBear
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2007 Posts: 148 Location: , MA
Thanks: 35
Thanked:15
Posted: 02-16-08 09:50am
homerx
wrote:
shonster
wrote:
'Fearing who you are is the
worst feeling in the world. Knowing who
you are gives you a great sense of pride,
that noone can take away from you.'
I like those words. Very insightful.
You'll be
okay!
