My brother has paranoid schizophrenia.
He's 56 years old. I'm 48- I'm not able to
take care of him like our mother could.
She died in 2005. She paid all his bills.
My brother inherited the house he lives in
, but doesn't think it's important to pay
his home taxes or utility bills. When I
tell him it's important, he says --when
he's ready. When his utitities get cut
off, he says people are f***ing with him.
He thinks the whole town is out to get
him. Last year he went without heat and
water during the winter and said the
utility companies were messing with him.
I'm tired of trying . I've had him put in
the hospital twice and they always release
him - and I'm always there to pick him up.
No more. The hospitals keep him 5 - 7 days
then release him (it's the law). He's
threatened to kill me before, I'm afraid
of him and I'm tired of having to pick
him up. I want them to keep him 'til he's
really capable of tending to himself. He
always tells the doctors that he'll "do
the right thing"- go to River Edge
Hospital and take his medicine and clean
his house. His house isn't fit to live in
- it hasn't been cleaned in at least 10
years. He lies, but the doctors believe
him or pretend too. I've tried for years
to make things better for him.
He won't and can't help himself (won't
more than can't - I believe he chooses
what he wants). He'll never take his
medicine - that would admit that he's ill.
Instead, he wants to think that since
1965, people have been poisoning him and
screwing up his life.
I'm done - I can't try anymore.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5542 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 89
Thanked:31
Posted: 02-08-08 10:31am
If you're in the US, you should be able to
get a social worker (or perhaps he already
has one) to oversee his case. They can
evaluate him and decide if he isn't able
to pay bills or maintain the house, the
social worker might be able to arrange
bills to be paid for him (like social
security) and someone to come in and care
for him, or perhaps come in once a week to
make sure he has food and the house is
somewhat clean, etc.
Please, try not to blame him. He doesn't
want to think that people have been
poisoning him for 50 years, why would
anyone choose that? Schizophrenia makes
people paranoid, suspicious, and in denial
about their condition. He doesn't have a
grasp on reality and he didn't ask for
this illness.
But anyway, where do you live? The US? If
you let me know, I can help direct you to
a starting place to finding resources for
him.
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antigone
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 918 Location: IL
Thanks: 45
Thanked:16
Posted: 02-09-08 04:02am
Georgia59 is right. Your brother lives in
another reality, quite literally, than you
do. He has no ability to control the
paranoia and delusional material that
accompanies this illness. His existence is
clouded with what the illness does to him.
He is not selectively ignoring his
responsibility. He is unable to handle it.
He needs medication and needs to be
compliant with the medication.
Irresponsible behavior is part of this
illness, unfortunately.
You need some support. This is a huge
burden to carry alone. Mental illness is
devastating to the entire family. Violent
outbursts can put you in jeopardy. Look
for a support group. You need somewhere to
vent and get some ideas on how to handle
the situation. Many people who have been
in your shoes offer you direction and help
you to know how to deal most effectively
with your brother. You should not have to
be alone in this.
NAMI - National Alliance on Mental Illness
has a website. They offer support and can
assist you with finding support in your
area. Try them. Georgia59 has offered some
great advice and assistance. Reach out
your hand. There is support out there for
you and you deserve to unload some of the
burden!
I hope this helped. We are hear to listen.
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Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 512 Location: U.K,
Thanks: 5
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-09-08 18:59pm
Here in the UK a person like your brother
would have a carer, paid for by the NHS.
He needs someone to come in every day and
oversee his general wellbeing, as well as
an advocate who can take care of his money
and bills.
It is appalling that he has been left to
deal with this alone - and that you are
expected to look after him.
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freedom fighters
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2008 Posts: 2
Posted: 02-09-08 21:28pm
There are 4 things you have to do to help
people get well.
1. You have to give them shelter. You
never get the homeless well. You cannot
treat the homeless and half the homeless
are schizophrenic. They’ve been very
shabbly treated. There are no shelter.
2. Secondly, you have to have good food.
You have to have really good food, as we
all agree with that.
3. They have to be treated with civility;
they have to be treated with respect. They
have to be treated as humans. Today,
unfortunately, in psychiatry, too
often the patients are not treated that
way at all. They’re badly treated,
mistreated. They’re forced to take
injections against their will, even though
that’s against the law in Canada.
4. The fourth aspect of treatment is what
I call orthomolecular. They have to be
given the right combination of nutrition,
vitamins, minerals, and medication if
necessary. But the medication has to be
used carefully and all to make sure the
medication is not damaged in that
process.
