Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 6 Location: , Edinburgh
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First Time Here Posted: 12-28-07 10:46am
hi
i dont even know if i should be here but i
would greatly apreciate any advice on
bipolar
im 20 years old, female
for years i have suffered a mood disorder
but it has never been diagnosed. I know
myself that i have a problem but i cant
being myself to go to the dr plus i can go
a few weeks to months feeling fine and i
forget about it thinking i was just being
stupid
last year i took an overdose of
antidepressents and ended up in hospital i
got over this but recently i have felt i
am not i reality. I go out with strangers,
( in th past week i have stayed out all
night)i didnt even wake up in my own bed
on xmas day. i just feel like my life is
out of control. i dont have a drug
dependency but i do have the urge to take
sleeping pills because i feel so numb
i want to cry but at th same time i feel
elevated and an indifference to
everything. i keep playing the same song
over and ver again in my head and it wont
go away
i have blackouts and stare into space alot
which i have no control over. Apparently i
was speaking to someone on the phone
yesterday but i dot remember which has
scared me.
please help i think im going crazy
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 4789 Location: Midwest, USA
Thanks: 3
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Posted: 12-29-07 12:32pm
You're not going crazy- you just need some
guidance! Go see your doctor. It will only
help you. You can feel better, whatever
your problem is.
In the meantime, let us know how you are
doing.
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bunnies
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 6 Location: , Edinburgh
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Posted: 12-29-07 12:57pm
Georgia59
wrote:
You're not going crazy- you
just need some guidance! Go see your
doctor. It will only help you. You can
feel better, whatever your problem is.
In the meantime, let us know how you are
doing.
thanks
im going to go when i get bk to uni in a
weeks time. i feel realy really low its
horribe. i dont know how im going to pass
my final year. my mum has a mental problem
and drinks alot so im stuck with her which
is not helping at all. i feel i have no
one.
i know i can call a relative or friend i
know i physically can i just cant bring
myself to do it. i feel so alone its
unblievable.
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puzzld
Supporter
Joined: 19 Nov 2007 Posts: 188 Location: gulf coast =), USA
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Posted: 12-30-07 09:46am
hello bunnies,
you are not alone. i am here and so are
lots of people that suffer as we do. but,
i do know the loneliness is the worst. it
really is.
please see a doctor as soon as you can.
try to be honest and leave nothing out. i
like write down notes before a session.
and do what they say. just try it out.
OH - i was overdosed on paxil this year.
i, too, ended up in the ER. i was being
treated through my city mental health
facility. now i have insurance and a
better dr. i never knew you could overdose
on anti-depressants.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 4789 Location: Midwest, USA
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Posted: 12-30-07 19:35pm
like puzzld said, there are many people on
here going through this, you aren't alone.
It's hard when your family situation isn't
exactly supportive, hopefully you'll be
able to see someone soon. In the meantime,
try focusing on yourself, relaxing, deep
breaths, etc.
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bunnies
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 6 Location: , Edinburgh
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Posted: 12-31-07 10:44am
thanks
i was feling really really low to the
point where i couldnt get out of bed 2
dyas ago.
now i feel the complete opposite i cn feel
myself going manic and i dont know wot to
do to cal mysekf down
i had a threesome last night with 2 people
i had never met before. i dont know what
im going to end up doing today
does anyone have any tips for manic
phases? im quite scared of mysrlf right
now
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 4789 Location: Midwest, USA
Thanks: 3
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Posted: 12-31-07 12:57pm
You really need to get yourself some
treatment. If you leave yourself untreated
like this, you could really make some
decisions that endanger your life, if you
haven't already.
Take care of yourself! Love yourself! Get
your butt in to the doctor.
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puzzld
Supporter
Joined: 19 Nov 2007 Posts: 188 Location: gulf coast =), USA
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Posted: 12-31-07 15:26pm
try to channel your energy in a
constructive way rather than destructive.
i make art, write and watch movies. it
helps some. i really like horror movies.
please get some professional help asap.
xoxo puzzld
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bunnies
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 6 Location: , Edinburgh
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Posted: 01-02-08 16:34pm
thanks for the replies
this week has been an emotional
rollercoaster making life quite unsettling
and driving me to paranoia.
i used to actually keep a diary but i
found it only increased the depression
because i would end up focusing on it
more. I also find this with music which
only increases the mental state im in at
the time.
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puzzld
Supporter
Joined: 19 Nov 2007 Posts: 188 Location: gulf coast =), USA
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Posted: 01-03-08 22:04pm
i know exactly what you're talking about
bunnies regarding the music or writing. i
use it as a way to get all the crap out of
my system. so it seems like i'm dwelling
but i usually feel better in the long run.
but if i am really low then is sounds like
more of a suicidal thing and in that state
of mind i usually call a person, my
brother who is was bipolar.
i do try to stay away from certain music
that i know gets me going down the wrong
path mentally. but in that small way we
have control over it. ya know?
are you more low than high? i am, i think.
and the lows just keep getting worse the
older i get. i just turned 33 jan 1st. and
this past year was the worst year ever.
but i also had the best year, too. it's
confusing... i married a man that actually
believes in me! he is my biggest fan. he
can see past the illness and knows that i
will not let it define me completely.
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lonestarguy
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 551 Location: , Hoosierland, USA
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Posted: 01-03-08 22:26pm
I'm sorry you've both been suffering so
much with these mood changes and
loneliness. I've never been diagnosed with
bipolar symptoms, but my son has and I'm
sure he got them from me.
I also know how the loneliness affects
your mood and I thought I was the only one
who suffered more if I heard certain
music. Sorta like a trigger to bring on a
worse feeling.
puzzld--You are lucky that you have found
a man to support you through this terrible
disease. My wife has kept me alive for
over 30 years now and I am forever
grateful I married her.
bunnies--Finding friends or a boyfriend is
the key to keeping you from falling into
those low moods. If you are at uni, then
surround yourself with friends if you can
and try to avoid being alone as much.
Good luck to you both.
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bunnies
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 6 Location: , Edinburgh
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Posted: 01-06-08 12:54pm
i would say i was definately more low than
high but then i can go a few days in which
im normal well i think i am anyway i dont
even think there is such ting as normal
anymore lol
to most people i come across quite mellow
and can sit for hours in silence. I
suffered qite bad hallucinations yesterday
and it didnt help that i was left in the
house on my own. Sometimes i will be lying
in bed and someone will be pearing over me
or i keep seeing faces and distortions in
the walls. I know its not real but it
still mkaes me feel incredibly uneasy.
i would hate to tell a dr about this they
would probably think i was insane lol.
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gatorgirl01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jan 2008 Posts: 16 Location: ,
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Admitting I Have Bp Posted: 01-08-08 15:23pm
Im a 34 year old woman, i have been told
have have BP about 10 years ago.. i went
for along time denying the fact that i
have this disorder. but lately i have been
going through some manic episodes. and not
i have come to term with my disorder. im
looking for support, because i feel like
im going out of my mind.. i just cant
believe this is happining to me.. i have
so many mixed emotions about this. but me
admitting it i think is the first step..
what do i do now..
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