Am I Developing Schizophrenia? Posted: 12-28-07 23:52pm
Hello im 14 years old and in desperate
need for some advice i dont know whats
happening to me and i really scared i
might be developing schizo. For 2 years
now ive only had 2 close friends i hung
out with outside of school besides some
others i talk with in school. I used to
have some other friends but they had
stopped hanging out with me because they
thought i was uncool so they started
teasing me.. my best friend since fourth
grade stopped hanging out with me because
of one comment a girl a girl had said
about he might become cooler if he stopped
hanging out with me
So because of that one comment he
never spoke to me unless it was to insult
me. since then ive had only 2 friends. It
was pretty okay until i started school
this year. In the beginning of september
my sisters boyfriend came over and
pressured me into doing weed. So i did it
and felt completely horrible i thought i
was going to die. This was the first and
only time i had taken drugs. A month later
i had began feeling really strange like i
wasnt connected to myself all day. At
night as i was trying to go to bed i felt
the same way as i did when i was high it
wasnt as bad but when i walked i felt like
everything was in slow motion and the
feeling of not being connected to myself
had increased alot. Not only this but my
mouth was very dry.
I thought this was something like a
withdrawl symptom but i didnt know how
that couldve been possible since i only
used the drug once. The next day i told my
mom and she took me to the hospital
however they couldnt see anything that was
wrong except high blood pressure. I still
felt the feelings of being disconnected
from the world. The next day i went to the
doctor and he acted as if i was just some
kid looking for attention. SO from then on
i never said a thing about what was going
on. And it seems from then on i was alone.
The feelings continued some nights the
same thing would happen feelins of being
in slow motion dry mouth etc.
But one night it changed. I was
laying in my bed for awhile my sister was
playing music but then she stopped it,
however it kept playing in my head. It was
scary my heart was pounding when i closed
my eyes all these weird thoughts were
racing through my head. Like flashes. One
of them i remember was a face something
like zombie. i didnt see them while my
eyes were open though but my vision was
distorted. The only way i had gotten
myself to fall asleep was by trying to
relax my breathing and thinking of a nice
song.
I had thought i was being possesed
my a demon for alil because the songs
seemed to almost speak to me like id hear
little line of different songs i dont
remember the songs i was hearing but it
would be something like id hear the lyrics
"How could this happen to me" from simple
plan. The weird thing was i was only in
this state when i was laying down it
disappeared as i sat up.
Through october and november things
kept getting worse days seemed to move by
so quickly id look at the clock and it
would already be time for bed it was
scary. Like i was couldnt even enjoy the
day where i felt kinda normal. But by then
throughtout the day my concentration would
suck my memory of the day was like that of
a dream (strangely throughtout this i had
began to remember more of my dreams which
before i couldnt) also i began seeing like
flashes in the corner of my eyes it was
scary and sometimes when im turning my
head things would look different like they
would be morphed into something scary like
a monster but then id look at it and it
would be a coat or something sometimes my
nightly symptoms would only happen one
time one i remember is when my brother
woke me around 3 am i tried to go back to
sleep but some weird things happened it
would be like i was dreaming but it was
realer like it actually happened... i cant
explain it so well so i dont even think im
gonna try also what was even scarier for a
few seconds i was like paralyzed im not
sure if this mightve been a dream or not
but its never happened again.
Since then i thought i was
developing anxiety and depersonality
disorder which most of you would probably
agree but now my symptoms are getting
freakier for the past few days when im at
the computer ill hear someone whisper my
name its really scary. And last night when
i was trying to sleep i had gotten that
feeling again where my head was pounding
and my mind was racing with all these
thoughts i couldnt control and when i
opened my eyes for a split second i saw my
brother sitting on the couch and few
minutes later when i looked at the lamo my
friends face popped up out of nowhere and
disappeared. sorry if im not descriptive
enough and theres some things i forgot to
put but i think ive gotten enough in. Ive
tried to tell my guidance counselor when
he was talking to me about my grades which
have been horrrible this year because of
my bad concentration and memory but the
words wouldnt come out so i jsut sat there
and nodded as he talked like an fool. i
heard the voice whisper my name alil while
ago which is why i forced myself to write
all this its like a lil echoey whisper
please someone please tell me they know
what im going through.
|
HeatherEM
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Dec 2007 Posts: 11 Location: Mississauga, ON Canada
Posted: 12-30-07 21:30pm
First, are you male or female?
Males, if they are going to experience
schizophrenia, normally do anywhere
between the ages of 16 and 25, and females
between the ages of 25 and 35.
Have you done research on the disorder to
find out if your symptoms match? If you
can't talk to the doctor, write everything
down and bring it in.
You are very young to have this
debilitating brain disorder. Are either of
your parents schizophrenic? If not, you
only have a 1% chance of getting it. If
one of your parents does, you have a 13%
chance, and if both parents have it you
hit a 35% chance of getting the illness.
The racing thoughts and pounding heart
sounds like a typical anxiety/panic
attack, however those are quite different
from each other. A panic attack is when
you fear impending doom. Anxiety is when
you are anxious and nervous, you may
sweat, rock back and forth, hold your
chest, get shortness of breath, etc. Like
butterflies in your stomach and you can't
get a thought processed.
If nothing else, a prescription for an
anti-anxiety agent might be what you need.
You either take them everyday no matter
what, or only when you have an attack.
Either way, you MUST see your doctor. Are
your parents understanding? If one of them
has the illness, they should understand,
though they may forget how bad it can be
initially and how scary it can be so don't
be upset if they don't get it. Most people
don't get it. That's why we are such a
unique set of people. We have one of many
illnesses that ALMOST NO ONE understands.
Physical conditions are easier. We can see
them. Yes you have a broken leg, I can see
it. Let's put a cast on it and you'll get
better. But when it's a mental condition,
then what? We can't do brain scans to
check on the chemicals and see if they are
working properly. We have to go on
feelings and emotions and medications are
more of a trial and error approach until
you feel better.
Having said that, several people have
taken a keen interest in mental health, so
do some research. There is a lot of good
reading material out there. A lot of
professionals are previous sufferers as
well. Who else would understand us so
well?
Good luck and keep us posted on what the
outcome is!!!
|
coonfuusedkidd
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 21
Posted: 12-31-07 19:41pm
hey thanks for the advice to tell you the
truth i think it's all jsut anxiety from
my lack of friends at the moment because
most of the time im always thinking about
getting better and the things that are
happening to me and such but when im
around other people i feel alot better and
for awhile stop thinking about my
condition but once im alone again it seems
to start up again. Also on days that i'm
alone my memory sucks i mean it's really
bad i have a hard time thinking about
things i did just in the morning or
sometimes just did but on days im around
friends its a bit easier to remember.
|
naomi48
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2007 Posts: 21 Location: europe
Posted: 01-01-08 00:07am
Sorry to hear about what you're going
through, ckid. I know a little about how
awfull these things can be, the most
important thing is not to be afraid...
I've sent you a pm.
|
HeatherEM
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Dec 2007 Posts: 11 Location: Mississauga, ON Canada
Posted: 01-02-08 08:52am
Depression can manifest in a similar
way... I am not schizophrenic, however, I
have depression and anxiety issues.
When I am with my friends, we talk and my
mind stays off the negative things in my
life. When I am alone again, I'm back to
negative thoughts, because what else do I
have to think about?
There's the kicker... You need to
re-direct your focus... Start reading,
doing crossword puzzles, exercising, a
hobby, walking, cooking, cleaning, etc.
Watching tv or a movie won't do it. You
need something to occupy your mind. It
does work. It's hard work, I'm not gonna
lie to you. It's very very difficult work.
You can't expect yourself to feel better
in one day. It takes time, so give
yourself that time
|
coonfuusedkidd
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 21
Posted: 01-02-08 15:51pm
thanks yea i am getting pretty depressed
but what scares me is when i hear a voice
whispering my name which has become a
daily thing now is this how schizo vocies
begin? I dont have any delusions as far as
i know but i sometimes hallucinate mostly
i see misty skull-like face appearing from
the corner of my eye or many scary misty
images when i close my eyes.
|
Marianne0558
Supporter
Joined: 10 Sep 2007 Posts: 1722 Location: Charleston, SC USA
Thanks: 48
Thanked:6
Posted: 01-02-08 16:11pm
coonfuusedkidd
wrote:
hey thanks for the advice to
tell you the truth i think it's all jsut
anxiety from my lack of friends at the
moment because most of the time im always
thinking about getting better and the
things that are happening to me and such
but when im around other people i feel
alot better and for awhile stop thinking
about my condition but once im alone again
it seems to start up again. Also on days
that i'm alone my memory sucks i mean it's
really bad i have a hard time thinking
about things i did just in the morning or
sometimes just did but on days im around
friends its a bit easier to
remember.
You are definitely not alone in the world.
High school can be some of the most
awkward, traumatic experiences in your
life. I used to get picked on a lot too.
Then I realized that it was THEIR problem
if they didn't want to be my friend, not
mine. I ended up making the majority of my
friends outside of school. When I was in
school, I stuck with my small group of
friends and stayed busy with school work.
True friendship is valued by quality, NOT
quantity.
Once you're out of highschool, you'll
realize that you had the upper ground
because you probably have more to offer
than those mean people that tease you.
Now that I've been out of high school for
6 years, I occasionally run into people I
went to school with, the people that used
to tease me. Now they want to hang out
with me and be my friend.
People change. Hopefully these immature
people will too.
