Im Dan im 20 years old i have a gf thats
17 and a senior in HS and we think shes
pregnant, she wants to be a mom but im
scared... i love her more than words can
describe and she loves me the same. The
baby would have two very loving and caring
parents but i dont think im ready at
all...i need some advice, Thanks
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 12-29-07 09:41am
You have to very clearly tell this to your
gf. Tell her you guys can get married
after she graduates from school and then
have a baby sometime later, when you both
are ready. . She can either abort this
pregnancy or put the child up for
adoption.
I wish you well.
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mominashoe
Supporter
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 1702 Location: , KS USA
Thanks: 33
Thanked:16
Posted: 12-29-07 11:45am
Give yourself time. A baby is a very big
thing to accept in your life, especially
if it's not planned, and it's really a
normal thing to have misgivings and be
afraid.
If you are just thinking that she MIGHT be
pregnant, don't worry too hard about it
until you find out that she is for sure.
You wouldn't want to worry about something
that isn't taking place.
If she is pregnant, you should talk to
both yours and your gf's parents together
and tell them your wishes, which they
should respect, seeing that she will not
have the baby until after she graduates
and you are almost a "completely legal"
adult. Hopefully they will be able to
help you both out in some respects.
Telling the parents early on will ensure
a greater possibility that you and them
have a mutual trust and respect for each
other.
If you are both ready to love and care for
this baby, that's all you need to be good
parents. Every time I get pregnant I'm
scared too and this is my 7th pregnancy
and 6th full term pregnancy and I've been
married for nearly 10 years. You'd think
it was old hat for someone like me, but
each baby is a change in my life and there
are many things to consider. It is the
responsibility that you are realizing, but
this is very good that you know that it is
there, because this is no small thing: a
human life.
The only thing that you would need
otherwise is the finances, and there are
programs to help if you don't quite have
the means to do it. Otherwise, I'm
guessing that you are a working guy, so
you should start making more money to
provide for the little one, because it
isn't going to be cheap.
Be a good and supportive partner for your
GF. She wants the baby and you wanting it
too is the best thing for her. You have 9
months of pregnancy to come to love this
baby growing inside of her and also that
is enough time for you and her to consider
that if you can't handle it, there is
always adoption.
I wish you all the best
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 12-29-07 11:54am
Moninashoe, we both read the same thing
and got something completely different
from it. I focused on this part:
wdr726
wrote:
but i dont think im ready
at all...i need some advice,
Thanks
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mominashoe
Supporter
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 1702 Location: , KS USA
Thanks: 33
Thanked:16
Posted: 12-29-07 12:11pm
I was mainly considering that he part
where he is saying "I don't THINK I am
ready" means that maybe after the initial
shock of the situation, he will calm down
a bit after it registers what it means to
have a baby in his life. If she wants the
baby, there is no reason why they should
terminate the pregnancy. It is not as
much up to him as it is to her.
Sometimes the initial thought of what has
happened triggers just an overall panic
attack and crazy views of what the future
holds, since it's just such an unknown
thing, all new to him, and a pretty big
responsibility. This is perfectly normal.
Sometimes people forget that there is
time.....9 months....before the baby is
born where they can either decide to keep
the baby (which is what mom wants to do)
or give it up for adoption, which they
might decide on later because of difficult
life circumstances, or they just feel that
they aren't quite ready yet. They don't
want to terminate now and be sorry later
on. You can't undo that. I wasn't
thinking that was something they were
considering as an option.
But in this case, the parents might also
be able to help out as well. They might
help her take care for the baby while she
adjusts too. There is just plenty of time
to think about it is all I'm saying
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wdr726
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2007 Posts: 2
Update Posted: 12-29-07 12:11pm
seeing as i couldnt sleep this morning i
went to her house we live very close i
just walked (i needed the fresh air), i
walked in nd went upstairs. I came to find
her sitting up awake i got in bed with her
i told her that i was nervous, she agreed
that she was also. We agreed its one way
to take life on the fast track but if it
comes out positive that we are going to
keep the baby. Her confidence in me
reassured me that i can do this
financially, physically & mentally and
that i will be a good dad. she bought a
test a few days ago and she said she was
just too nervous to take it alone. She
took the test after reading the directions
for 20minutes and it was positive. As of
now were deciding how to tell our parents.
She made an apointment for planned
parenthood to get vitamins? i think thats
what she said untill we tell our parents
and start seeing a real doctor...
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 12-29-07 12:26pm
Great! I wish you both the best.
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mominashoe
Supporter
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 1702 Location: , KS USA
Thanks: 33
Thanked:16
Posted: 12-29-07 13:28pm
Good for you. Best of luck.
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stefanialynn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 30 Location: Horsham , PA US
Posted: 12-29-07 13:45pm
what a morning you have had! i hope things
work out, go get some sleep! good luck on
starting a family!
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Ayrshire-lass
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2007 Posts: 656 Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
Posted: 12-29-07 15:36pm
Good luck! n dont worry about it. you do
have a long time to sort your head out b4
its the real deal and a baby in your arms.
its nice to hear about a young couple
gettin it good. congrats!
xxx
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anniek
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Sep 2007 Posts: 425 Location: , Iowa Usa
Thanks: 15
Thanked:2
Posted: 12-30-07 13:21pm
Hope it goes well. And yes she needs to
get to the Dr to get prenatels and they
will tell her what to expect. Tell your
parents soon, cause for us they were our
biggest supporters. Well after the initial
shock! It only took them about a day to
know they needed to be behind us in what
we chose to do.
Good luck and take care!
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4101 Location: San Diego, CA
