I think I am finally ready to end my
relationship with my boyfriend. We have
been together for 20 years. There are
several things I love about him. He is
compassionate, loves animals, is fun to be
around, is generous, and helpful. The
reason I want to leave is he is verbally
abusive. He puts me down a lot. And he
brings up things I have done in the past,
years later, and picks on me about how bad
I am for things I have done in the pase.
Recently I have been asking him to leave
if he really feels I am so bad. He has a
temper. He has never hit me, but he has
threatened violence in the past and come
close. I recently lost 25 pounds. I am
5'6" and went from 176 to about 150. He
says I am too skinny now and should go
ahead and lose more weight. He is 100
pounds overweight. I do not understand
why he always picks at me. But I am
finally tired of it. I have been with him
since high school. I am afraid to be
alone. I left once before, moved across
country and went back with him after two
months. I think maybe I didn't grieve the
end of our relationship properly and had
no support from people that were nearby.
I think I am ready now. I have been
second guessing myself for a while. When
things are good they are wonderful, but it
is not enough anymore... What do you all
think? In 20 years there is a lot more.
If you want more info, ask me...
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meblonde01
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 2131 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:2
Posted: 12-30-07 14:32pm
I think if you are unhappy you should not
waste another 20 years, unless you love
him very much. and can't see yourself
without him, then I would tell him your
thoughts and ask him to go to counseling.
Being along sounds sad and boring but look
at it as a new adventure. You can do what
you want to when you want to..
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womaninpain
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jul 2007 Posts: 179
Posted: 12-30-07 23:19pm
I have been in your shoes! Not that long
of a relationship but it hurts when you
love someone that much so time doesn't
mean that you love any more or less. I
think that you went back because of your
fear of being alone and it makes sense,
and I do think that you didn't give
yourself that time. I think that if you
want to keep trying the only way to make
it work is to try going to counseling so
that he can see how he is ruining this
relationship and if you are really ready
to go then do it but as you are doing it
seek help in counseling that will help you
get through the grieving and the fear. You
still have plenty of life to live and you
should be happy and it's not worth it to
live your life in constant misery you
deserve to be treated better than this.
This is a choice you have to make and when
you make that choice you have to jump in
with your whole body or you will end up
back where you are with him. I wish you
luck!
