Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 3743 Location: Merrie Englande, UK
Thanks: 72
Thanked:65
Why Did You/do You Want a Baby? Posted: 01-04-08 14:46pm
I would really love some honest answers
here, a lot of people claim their
pregnancies weren't planned but I doubt
the percentage of contraception failures
is as high as it seems!
I was not a teenage mother but I wasn't
prepared for pregnancy. My fiance and I
just got lax with the condom use, knowing
full well what the risk was, and our son
was the result. We were living in a poky
flat and had lots of debt but my hormones
had made me so broody and his hormones
made him so horny that we just let Nature
do her thing! It was a life-changing
thing but I have no regrets. I was 24
years old and had been with my fiance for
4 and a half years so we were committed.
We got married when I was 16 weeks
pregnant and are still happy, living in a
house now and still with some debt but
we're getting there!
My mother was 13 years old when she began
having sex and 16 when she fell pregnant
to my father. Just to clarify, my father
did not sleep with her until she was 16
She wanted a baby
because she had a terrible childhood and
wanted someone to love and to be loved by.
Her father had left them and her mother
was in and out of mental institutions.
She was bullied at school and left at age
12. She was bulimic from age 10. She
says that getting pregnant saved her life.
Having my brother gave her the family she
craved and she poured all her love and
energy into raising him (she did a
fantastic job, he's a fine young man now).
She says she'd have probably become a
drug addict or an alcoholic if she'd not
become a mother.
So, there are my stories; two very
different ones.
What's your story? Do you regret your
choice? Do you wish you'd waited to have
a baby or, like my mother, do you feel
having a child was the making of you?
All the gritty details please...
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browngirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 188 Location: Oklahoma City, Ok USA
Posted: 01-04-08 15:25pm
I havent yet had my child yet and I am now
almost 12 weeks pregnant with our first
child. I never really wanted kids when I
was really young. But when I was 13 my
very best friend's dad and step mom had a
child. Her dad was arrested and put in
jail for several months before the baby
was born. About 3 weeks after she had
their son her stepmom was also arrested
and put in jail. Her and her month old
little brother came to live with me while
her parents were in jail. I became very
attached to that little boy. Everyone
would ask if I was his mom when we took
him out in public. Shortly before he
turned two years old, his dad got out of
jail so they both moved out and back in
with her dad. The little boy will be 6
years old in April and I havent seen him
for at least three years. He is the very
reason why I changed my mind about having
kids.
The first time I was ever intimate with
anyone I was 17 years old and had just
graduated from high school. I told him
many times over exactly how much I wanted
kids. Yet I took my birth control
religiously til we both felt like we were
ready. I married him in October of 2007
and stopped taking my birth control about
two weeks before that. Shortly after
thanksgiving is when we found out we are
having our first child.
But thats my story.
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Re: Why Did You/do You Want a Baby?stories Please! Posted: 01-04-08 15:38pm
Jules
wrote:
I would really love some
honest answers here, a lot of people claim
their pregnancies weren't planned but I
doubt the percentage of contraception
failures is as high as it
seems!.
I feel the exact same way. The question I
wished you had asked, though,(and maybe we
can tack this question on to yours) is,
if you get pregnant by accident, why do
you choose to keep the baby instead of
opting for abortion or adoption?
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-04-08 15:40pm
browngirl
wrote:
I havent yet had my child
yet and I am now almost 12 weeks pregnant
with our first child. I never really
wanted kids when I was really young. But
when I was 13 my very best friend's dad
and step mom had a child. Her dad was
arrested and put in jail for several
months before the baby was born. About 3
weeks after she had their son her stepmom
was also arrested and put in jail. Her and
her month old little brother came to live
with me while her parents were in jail. I
became very attached to that little boy.
Everyone would ask if I was his mom when
we took him out in public.
.
People asked if a 13 year old was his
mother? Or did I misunderstand?
browngirl
wrote:
But thats my
story.
And it's a great story. The question is,
why were you able to wait until you were
married and others don't?
|
browngirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 188 Location: Oklahoma City, Ok USA
Posted: 01-04-08 16:00pm
futureshock
wrote:
browngirl
wrote:
I havent yet had my child
yet and I am now almost 12 weeks pregnant
with our first child. I never really
wanted kids when I was really young. But
when I was 13 my very best friend's dad
and step mom had a child. Her dad was
arrested and put in jail for several
months before the baby was born. About 3
weeks after she had their son her stepmom
was also arrested and put in jail. Her and
her month old little brother came to live
with me while her parents were in jail. I
became very attached to that little boy.
Everyone would ask if I was his mom when
we took him out in public.
.
People asked if a 13 year old was his
mother? Or did I misunderstand?
browngirl
wrote:
But thats my
story.
And it's a great story. The question is,
why were you able to wait until you were
married and others
don't?
Yes. They didnt know that I was thirteen
at the time. I have always looked older
than I actually am.
As far as why I was able to wait. I knew
that we both had to want it and that just
because it would be his kid that doesnt
mean that he would stay with me. We are in
a much better place emotionally and
financially than we were before. It was
almost two years ago when we first met
each other and we have came very far in
our relationship since then.
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bellax0x
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jun 2004 Posts: 3572 Location: Jersey Baby!
Posted: 01-04-08 16:02pm
what a great post this is!! i love your
story
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RebelCats
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2007 Posts: 132
Thanks: 7
Thanked:4
Posted: 01-04-08 17:45pm
I can cetainly say my first pregnancy was
in no way shape or form planned. I spent
most of my teen years saying I hated kids
and never wanted them. Having kids were
the furtherest thing from my mind even
when I did become pregnant. I was on the
depo shot when I became pregnant the first
time. I was one of those that thought as
long as I was on birth control you didn't
get pregnant. It didn't matter if you used
a condom (boy was I wrong). So yeah I
became pregnant. I did not even know I was
pregnant until I was 4 months along.
Yes my last 3 kids were planned with my
husband.
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Lilly Ivy
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Aug 2007 Posts: 1514 Location: Moorefield, WV
Thanks: 45
Thanked:80
Posted: 01-04-08 17:49pm
I've always wanted kids. In the past year,
4 people have had a baby (all girls
ironically) and the pressure just kinda
built in me. I got together with my
fiancee in September 2006, turned 18 in
May 2007, and got pregnant in July. It was
ALL my fault that I got pregnant, and he
doesn't let anyone forget that, lol. We've
ALWAYS talked about marriage, but since I
was 17 up until May, we really didn't get
anything for it. So as soon as my papers
come in (HOPEFULLY within a month) we are
getting married. I'll probably be 8 months
pregnant by then, but we want to be
married before the baby comes. He also has
a 9yr old son who is actually starting to
like me, and I really wanted to give him a
sibling before he got too old.
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Katrinadoodle
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2007 Posts: 1231
Posted: 01-04-08 19:01pm
I'm one of the honest ones XD the pill and
the condom failed.
I chose to keep my daughter because
1) I couldn't get an abortion when I was
financially and mentally able to care for
her
2) I couldn't give her up for adoption and
not know if she was being cared for, or if
I had put her in some kind of hell,
especially when, like I said, I could care
for her on my own.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 01-04-08 19:07pm
i wish i could provide all the gritty
details but ive got a baby in one hand
that will no sleep LOL
do i regret anything: no
do i wish i could have waited: nope
i love my life and i love my daughter life
definately changes ALOT when you have a
baby. your entire not only life changes
but your mood, your feelings towards
everything,your maturity level. yuve gotta
all of a sudden grow up in a few days to
be able to provide for your child. your
not a kid anymore. yoour an adult.
i still do everything i normally do
i hang out with friends, i go shopping and
i also take care of a baby 24/7. i also
still take care of my dogs. its ALOT of
work. thank god i have help and support
from travis or i dont know WHAT i would
do. and a newborn is the EASIOEST part.
when they eat sleep and poop. as they grow
up it gets harder. my pregnancy was NOT
avoided. i was NOT on BC. we did NOT use
condoms. we knew it would happen and we
still did what we did. i dont blame anyone
for anything. it was up to me and travis
we did what we did and after 7 months of
it i got pregnant
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mszxmelli
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2008 Posts: 6 Location: Maryland, United States
Posted: 01-26-08 13:05pm
I'm not a mother or pregnant but I do want
a baby. I'm 17 years old. I don't plan on
havin a child right now but I so want one
in the next two years. For me it's not so
much that I want someone to love me. It's
more that I want to give that love to
someone and I love children. I've always
wanted to have children young. I feel that
having your child young allows you to be
closer to them. The only reason why I'm
waiting now is because I want to finish
school first and want to make sure that I
am financially ready to support my child
as well as emotionally. I do know other
teen moms. I have a friend who is 25 and
she had her first child when she was 15.
she now has 3 children and is very happy
and very successful. I look up to her and
she gave me hope that I could do the same
thing she did. I know some people will
criticize me and think I'm stupid and I
don't know what I'm gettin myself into but
believe me I do which is why I'm not
trying to conceive right now.
She wanted a baby
because she had a terrible childhood and
wanted someone to love and to be loved by.
Her father had left them and her mother
was in and out of mental institutions.
She was bullied at school and left at age
12. She was bulimic from age 10. She
says that getting pregnant saved her life.
Having my brother gave her the family she
craved and she poured all her love and
energy into raising him (she did a
fantastic job, he's a fine young man now).
She says she'd have probably become a
drug addict or an alcoholic if she'd not
become a mother.
