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sam_16
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 2
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16 and pregnant
Posted: 01-05-08 15:10pm
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 i found out i wuz
pregnant about a week ago..im almost 6
weeks now...and on one hand im happy and i
wanna keep my baby..but on the other hand
im REALLY scared...my parents are those
type of people that woudlnt accept their
16 year old to have a child..and im really
scared because im very close to my dad..he
means the world to me..and he always told
me that i would kill him if i ever did
something like this...im so scared i
havent told them because i dont want to
hurt them..i need some advise..please help
me!
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 01-05-08 19:04pm
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you need to tell your parents
in the best intrest for your child if you
dont have a full time job that pays well
and your still in school then you have
options
abortion or adoption are 2 of those
options. you need to think about what this
will do to your life
im 16 and i have a almost 6 weeks old
daughter. its HARD. even when you think
you can do it sometimes you cant . life is
too short. live it to the fullest. and do
whats best for you and your life and the
life of that child. its still not too
late. you have time to think about what
you want to do
if you need help im here. my name is suzy
and ill help in anyway i can
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ilovemyfishies81
Supporter
Joined: 13 Jul 2007
Posts: 1557
Location: Raleigh, NC
Thanks: 6
Thanked:0
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Posted: 01-05-08 19:58pm
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Tell your parents, if they get mad
eventually they will get over it! trust
me! and if they dont move on either
consider school at night and work during
the day or vise versa but it helps to have
an adult know whats going on so that you
can get the help you need either way, if
you keep the baby or adopt. Having baby
is hard at any age a lil harder when your
younger with no experience of the outside
world,work force or even just living your
life.
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stefanialynn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2007
Posts: 30
Location: Horsham , PA US
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Posted: 01-05-08 20:32pm
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when i found out i was pregnant the last
person i wanted to tell was my dad hes 6'7
and intimidating! The first person i told
was my mom and unexpectedly she was one
that went nuts. I didnt even get the
chance to be the one to tell my dad before
my mom was on the phone with him. He
called me and said "whatever you want to
do stef, its completely up to you" and ill
never forget that. It suprised me that he
was calm and didnt over react when i
talked to him he was sure as heck mad at
my boyfriend who got me pregnant but was
trying to be as helpful for me as he
could.
moral of the story i thought i had my
parents reactions to the "T" i thought my
moms first instict would have been to keep
the baby and she preached abortion and my
dad was just overwhelmingly supportive of
any decision i was to make and i thought
he was going to ring my neck.
Tell your best girl friend and she what
she can do for you and the advice she can
give you. BE CONFIDENT and COURAGEOUS and
tell your parents and go from there. Faced
with this issue is not easy and especially
being the parent of the pregnant teen but
your going to have to tell them no matter
what.
Its still so early in your pregnancy if
abortion is a thought it so much easier
the earlier you are along. There are two
types of abortion methods Medical- (which
i had) thats when you take a pill 24hrs
later take 4 more and you bleed heavily
and have cramps for about 3hrs you can
bleed lightly for a month but not all
people do ( i did and it sucked and you
cant use tampons) Surgical abortion- i
dont know much about this and i dont want
to give you false information but if you
type it into a search im sure you can find
all the facts
Adoption is always and option too. A baby
is hard work and its 10x harder for a
young girl thats still in school, doesnt
have a degree or a job that can support
her baby. There are many couples out there
that cant have children and are looking to
adopt, you can find a great home for your
baby and know that he/she is safe. You can
choose to have a closed or open adoption
too which means that open your child can
look for you in so many years and closed
adoption means that they cant contact you
when they get older.
Keeping that baby is also there too.
You need to talk to your parents and see
what thier outlook is it will make your
decision that much easier.
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Electriceyes
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Posts: 1059
Location: Monroe, Michigan United States
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Posted: 01-05-08 20:57pm
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| stefanialynn
wrote: | | Adoption is always and
option too. A baby is hard work and its
10x harder for a young girl thats still in
school, doesnt have a degree or a job that
can support her baby. There are many
couples out there that cant have children
and are looking to adopt, you can find a
great home for your baby and know that
he/she is safe. You can choose to have a
closed or open adoption too which means
that open your child can look for you in
so many years and closed adoption means
that they cant contact you when they get
older. |
Also with an open adoption you can choose
to be a part of that child's everyday life
without being financially responsible for
him/her.
With a closed adoption they CAN contact
you but they have to go through the hard
work of trying to find the birth parent.
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jjsharp
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jan 2008
Posts: 8
Location: Corona Hills, Ca USA
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Posted: 01-05-08 21:07pm
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I'll never forget the day that I looked at
that pregnancy test and it read POSITIVE.
I was going to be a sophmore in high
school and just turned 16 a month earlier.
I agree with "stefanialynn " on assuming
how your parents will react. I was wrong
but never the less I was terrified. It was
definitely emoitonal and I did hurt my
parents but we got through it. I too was
very close to my dad and didn't want to
hurt him but after it was all said and
done, he still loved me. I personally am
against abortion and will not advise. You
do have to ask yourself what you want and
what your willing to do. I stayed in
school full time and gratuated with 4.0
and gratuated mid-term so I could get a
jump start on getting a job. My boyfriend
was involved and worked when he could but
we were both in high school too. The
bottom line is communication.. and will
power. What are you going to do now.. you
will survive and get through this, as long
as you make a decision and stand by it.
Parents are very crucial in all this and
you need thier support no matter how every
one feels. I remember this one statement
when I was 16 and pregnant... "Everyone
hates a pregnancy, but everyone loves a
baby"... good luck and God Bless...
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stefanialynn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2007
Posts: 30
Location: Horsham , PA US
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Posted: 01-05-08 21:07pm
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Closed Adoption (sometimes called "secret
adoption") is the process by where an
infant is adopted by another family, and
the record of the natural (birth)
parent(s) is kept sealed. (Often, the
natural father was not recorded -- even on
the original birth certificate.) An
adoption of an older child who already
knows his or her natural parent(s) cannot
be made closed or secret. This formerly
was the most traditional and popular type
of adoption. It still exists today, but
its use is rapidly declining in favor of
open adoption. The sealed records
effectively prevent the adoptee and the
natural parents from finding, or even
knowing anything about each other.
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Electriceyes
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Posts: 1059
Location: Monroe, Michigan United States
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Posted: 01-05-08 23:20pm
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| stefanialynn
wrote: | | Closed Adoption (sometimes
called "secret adoption") is the process
by where an infant is adopted by another
family, and the record of the natural
(birth) parent(s) is kept sealed. (Often,
the natural father was not recorded --
even on the original birth certificate.)
An adoption of an older child who already
knows his or her natural parent(s) cannot
be made closed or secret. This formerly
was the most traditional and popular type
of adoption. It still exists today, but
its use is rapidly declining in favor of
open adoption. The sealed records
effectively prevent the adoptee and the
natural parents from finding, or even
knowing anything about each
other. |
I have a few friends that were adopted (a
closed i mind you) and they DID find their
birth parent. I don't know how but both my
friend and her mom are happy my friend
started looking for her.
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CrzyChikkita111
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 6
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Posted: 01-05-08 23:40pm
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Well your 16 nd this can be very tough. I
cant say I know exactly what your going
through but i have come pretty close, and
when I think about what to tell my parents
nothing comes to mind just the looks of
disappointment, but after all they are
your parents and they do love you thats
why they have raised you and taken care of
you, they only want what is best for you.
So take the courage to think this through
and speak to them about it it wont be easy
at first but no one but your parents will
want what is best for you. Take care I
wish you the best, God Bless
Keep me posted on what happens. Id like to
help you in anything you may need.
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sam_16
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 2
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Posted: 01-06-08 00:00am
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thanx 4 all the advice..but i wouldnt dare
2 have an abortion..i just cant do
that...adoption maybe but i would still
have to tell my parents...im still in high
school..im a junior..i dont have a job..im
still wit my boyfriend and hes very happy
that im pregnant...he has a steady
job..hes 21.......just seeing my parents
hurts me that im keeping this from
them...but telling them would kill them
inside..mt dad n mom mean everything to
me..my dad has always giving me whatever i
wanted and to repay him bak with this..it
hurts..im SO SCARED..
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Electriceyes
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2007
Posts: 1059
Location: Monroe, Michigan United States
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Posted: 01-06-08 00:07am
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my parents are everything to me too...
well, at least my mom.. my brother has
been more like a dad to me than my
actually father... when I told my mother I
thought it was going to kill her but she
was actually was and still is very
supportive of me and my decision. Good
luck to you in telling your parents.. You
NEED to do it. They will be mad/upset at
first but will come to support what ever
you want to do.
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AyaMiyaki
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Posts: 8246
Location: Floating on a cloud, United States
Thanks: 168
Thanked:14
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Posted: 01-06-08 00:40am
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Hiding this from your parents won't do any
good. You're just putting off the
inevitable. One way or another, they WILL
find out... whether you tell them now or
wait until a baby falls out of your
vagina. The only way for them to not know
is to get an abortion. If you don't want
to abort your pregnancy, you need to tell
your parents and see a doctor.
This is important. YOU NEED TO SEE A
DOCTOR. Don't put this off. If you care
about your child at all, you'll get
medical treatment. They need to do some
blood tests. They need to give you an
ultrasound. They need to prescribe
vitamins for you to take. YOU NEED MEDICAL
CARE. Your parents can help you get the
care you need.
Not telling them isn't going to do anybody
any good. Waiting to tell them will only
make them more upset that you were hiding
this from them. Get it over with and tell
them now. If you think you're adult enough
to raise a baby, you should be strong
enough to admit you even have a baby on
the way.
Good luck.
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CrzyChikkita111
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 6
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Posted: 01-06-08 00:55am
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Well your 16 nd this can be very tough. I
cant say I know exactly what your going
through but i have come pretty close, and
when I think about what to tell my parents
nothing comes to mind just the looks of
disappointment, but after all they are
your parents and they do love you thats
why they have raised you and taken care of
you, they only want what is best for you.
So take the courage to think this through
and speak to them about it it wont be easy
at first but no one but your parents will
want what is best for you. Take care I
wish you the best, God Bless
Keep me posted on what happens. Id like to
help you in anything you may need.
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jjsharp
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jan 2008
Posts: 8
Location: Corona Hills, Ca USA
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Posted: 01-06-08 01:28am
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Here's something to consider, the sooner
you deal with the issue of telling your
parents, the quicker you can move onto
making some better choices. Regardless of
how difficult this is, part of proving
that you can handle this pregnancy is
making some mature decisions and handling
things like an adult. If you become to
weak to deal with reality, then it's going
to clearly show that your not ready for
this. I agree with you when you say that
abortion is not an option for you, though
others in this discussion may feel it is.
If you firmly beleive that, then you have
to move on from that thought and deal with
revealing this to your parents and every
step after that. The longer you put things
off, the more turmoil and confusion it's
going to call you. No matter how
dissapointing this may be to your parents,
your health and the health of your un born
child need to be acknowledged. This is a
critical time of development for this baby
and you. As much stress as this is, you
have to start eliminating it as much as
you can. You will have a weight lifted off
of you when you get this out. And you will
adjust on how to deal with your parents
reactions to all of this. Besides, like
previously mentioned, they will find out,
and it will be so much better if they hear
it from you first. That shows a great deal
of maturity. You may not have made the
best decisions in getting pregnant right
now, but it doesn't mean you keep on
making not so popular decisions. Please,
if there is anything else, let me know...
God Bless!
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Relm
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Dec 2007
Posts: 64
Location: Toronto, ON Canada
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Posted: 01-06-08 13:05pm
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Just a quick note:
I'm 20 and my parents always used to say
"Go have fun honey!!...but don't you dare
get pregnant!"
I told my mom that I was pregnant and she
started crying happily "I'm going to be a
grandmother!."
You just really never know!
Best of luck and you have my full support
if you plan to keep the baby : )
Message me if you need anything : )
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Relm
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Dec 2007
Posts: 64
Location: Toronto, ON Canada
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Posted: 01-06-08 13:17pm
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P.S. I met my mom for a lunch date and
told her there. But if you're getting
yourself worked up and it seems too hard
to confront them, try writing a letter
telling them whats going on and how you
feel.
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AMomOf3
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 37
Location: San Diego, CA USA
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Posted: 01-07-08 02:34am
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I think everyone here understands that
you're scared. Beng 16 and pregnant IS
scary. The longer you put off telling
your parents, the harder it's going to be.
It doesn't get any easier. The sooner you
tell them, the quicker you can start to
deal with the actual situation instead of
being scared..and alone. Your parents may
surprise you. The first initial reaction
is usually disappointment and shock, but
both of those wear off soon enough. Tell
them!!! It's important for the health of
the baby and yourself.
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Amanda4
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jan 2008
Posts: 9
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Posted: 01-09-08 13:59pm
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I think you should tell your parents.
They might get mad, but they will also get
over it. I say keep the baby. I had my
first child at 17 and I am doing okay.
Your parents will be there to support you.
It will be hard, but take it as it comes.
Your parents will just melt when they see
that baby's face for the first time. I
promise you that!
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004
Posts: 4101
Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
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Posted: 01-14-08 11:10am
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have you discussed your pregnancy with
your parents yet?
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blink912102
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 9
Location: Dunnellon, FL United States
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Posted: 01-15-08 11:25am
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I kno its scary but when you do tell them
(you have to some time) dont just come out
and say hey i am pregnant. turn it into
something somewhat positive. Tell your
father you love him and that you made a
big mistake and you need his help and
guidance to help you through it cause you
cant do it alone. Then tell him that your
sorry and that your pregnant. it might
soften the blow. I kno how you feel. I am
almost 18 and my boyfriend is leaving for
the military soon. i just found out
myself.. and i too feel so.. in a way
alone. I havent talked to my parents yet.
but thats how i plan on spilling the
beans... GOOD LUCK! keep me posted.
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