Joined: 10 Dec 2006 Posts: 99 Location: Toronto, Ontario,
I Turn Chicken Trying to Talk to Her Posted: 01-05-08 20:12pm
So basically I have this big problem, well
its not big its HUGE. I want to talk to
this girl that I kinda like and I believe
she likes me as well. At graduation she
was making signals as me like kissy faces,
and pointing and kinda whispering in the
air to me "i want you". Me being a goof I
didnt do anything. So I added her on MSN.
I also have her on Facebook, I've written
on her wall a few times but nothing like
"hey hows it going".
So heres my problem. I'm too chicken to
actuall talk to her on MSN or even write
something like "hey wutsup" on Facebook.
Like I can get to the point, with MSN,
that I start the conversation but I turn
chicken right when I go to push enter and
then my heart starts racing and I close
the window. Similar thing happens with
Facebook when I go to write "hey hows it
going?" or "hey wutsup", I get to her
profile and I make it down to her wall but
then I turn chicken right when its time to
post the wall post.
Any advice and/or help?
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Jude-Love
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 727 Location: Williamstown, Kentucky USA
Posted: 01-05-08 21:38pm
Ask a friend to type whatever you want?
haha
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greekjohn
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2006 Posts: 99 Location: Toronto, Ontario,
Posted: 01-05-08 22:06pm
yeah but then i have to be there to make
sure i know what he or she says to her
and i really dont want to have to rely on
a friend to talk to a girl for me, i wanna
do it on my own and to be able to do it on
my own in the future
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lonestarguy
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 591 Location: , Hoosierland, USA
Thanks: 10
Thanked:1
Posted: 01-05-08 22:27pm
Nothing is going to happen apparently
until you get off the bench and get in the
game. If what you said about her signaling
to you and making some sort of overture,
then she probably thinks the ball is in
your court.
You have to summon the courage to take
advantage of her attraction to you before
it's too late. We all know that
nervousness when you want to ask someone
on a date, but you have the perfect
opportunity to let her know you're
interested by computer. Just push that
button and sit back and wait to see what
happens.
Just post on the wall post. That's all you
have to do. Go slow and talk with her
online to build up a relationship before
asking her out. It doesn't have to be a
lot to get started, but you are going to
have to do it yourself.
There's nothing wrong about saying "Hi,
how are you?". However, if you just sit
there online on MSN without talking to
her, she could believe you're not
interested after all ! (well this depends
on how important she considers MSN)
PS: once you're more self confident, get
to know her better face to face you don't want to
end up as "just an MSN buddy" do you
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greekjohn
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2006 Posts: 99 Location: Toronto, Ontario,
Posted: 01-06-08 14:22pm
Well I just sit online on MSN talking with
everyone but her. I don't know why I turn
chicken.
Im usually really good at giving adivce to
others, even about women. Ever sinece my
cousin started getting interested in
girls, which was like 6 months ago I've
been his Serino.
So basically I can give the advice just
cant really take it on how to talk to her,
because I get really nervous.
Once I can get the ball rolling then Im
golden. I kinda relate it to trying to
hop over a fence, I start running and I
make it to the to the fence and I jump and
I start climbing it but then right before
I hop it I get stuck. I even relate it to
one line from the "Friends" theme song,
"It's like you're always stuck in second
gear", like I'm there right I've let off
the accelerator and I clutched and Im
trying to push into third but its stuck
and the more I try to shift the more
resistance it finds.
Just tell yourself: what could possibly
happen ? You have nothing to loose afaik.
You say: "hey there" "how are you?" "how
was school?" "hmm well if you need some
advice I'm right there okay?"
What will she answer? Why would she turn
you down anyway? You think she'll say "go
away I hate you" ? "I have a bf" ? "I
figured out I'm a lesbian" ? Very
unlikely. Relax, she'll answer just like
anyone normal would. Maybe she won't
answer at all! Because nothing proves
she's behind her desk during her MSN
sessions
Well, even if you hear something negative,
it's still better to be aware... I once
got in trouble for flirting with a girl
while I had no idea she was taken.
Last opinion: don't use all your ammo on
MSN. it's important for you that you stay
more interesting face to face than behind
a computer. You see what I mean ?
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greekjohn
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2006 Posts: 99 Location: Toronto, Ontario,
Posted: 01-06-08 22:50pm
Yeah man I know what you mean. Like I've
herd it before, and thats what I keep
telling myself.
And you'll probably not have any other
advice than that, unless you actually wish
her to go away. To get close to her, you
have to... well... get glose to her.
Remember that she's a human being just
like you and she doesn't have
superpowers or more rights than you have.
Besides, at this point you guys are two
absolute normal individuals to each other,
so there's no chickening to do, she's not
a godess !
(moreover, don't hesitate to speak up your
mind when you don't agree with her. It's
more interesting to talk to a guy who has
a point than a guy who always agrees "to
not annoy her".)
Once you get across this step, things will
get much smoother.
Of course, if this is also what you keep
telling yourself... you know the problem,
you know the solution... the next steps
are up to you.
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greekjohn
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2006 Posts: 99 Location: Toronto, Ontario,
Posted: 01-07-08 09:34am
Well I wrote on her wall "Hey, hows is
going" last night before I went to bed.
So I guess you can say I bit the dust and
just got it over and done with, however I
have not gotten a response yet but its
only 9:34 in the morninig so its still
early
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greekjohn
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2006 Posts: 99 Location: Toronto, Ontario,
Posted: 01-07-08 21:12pm
well its 9:15pm and she still hasnt
written anything on my wall, I singed onto
MSN and she was on and basically after
about 10 minutes of being online she
signed out, I dont know if she did becasue
she has a class (university) and had to go
or is just basically one of those girls
that has the mentality like "girl with
asses like mine dont talk to guys with
faces like yours"
From what I've heard from my female
friends, they don't pay much attention on
what happens on their websites/MSN/e-mail
boxes etc, they prefer phone calls and
face to face conversations. You know maybe
she didn't even notice you message.
Besides, "Hey, hows is going" is maybe not
personal enough for her to actually
answer. You're probably not the only one
who said that.
You could say "hey remember me? I'm John,
I used to be in your class/school/grade/we
used to talk during pauses/... . how's
your diploma, what are you doing right
now? see ya later, bye" -- aaaand if she
doesn't answer, try the same on MSN.
Nothing really proves what she thinks of
you unless she tells you, it's maybe just
a misunderstanding.
Your mistake is that you just put all your
hopes on one message on a virtual space
whereas you took conclusions for not responding
the same day. That's just going to
frustrate you
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greekjohn
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2006 Posts: 99 Location: Toronto, Ontario,
Posted: 01-08-08 22:27pm
I wouldn't say I'm getting paranoid.
But anyways she just wrote on my wall late
tonight and well I wrote broke back and
well we'll see what happens next.
She was like "I'd doing pretty good, how
about yourself?" and I was like "I'm
alright, just getting back to the going to
school routine "
were you close at school, or just "I know
who she is" ? depending on that you could
get easier on the way to e.g. her phone
number maybe from what I've
learned I know it's easier to get close to
someone you can hear on the phone than
someone you get popup messages from. how
close are/were you guys?
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greekjohn
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2006 Posts: 99 Location: Toronto, Ontario,
Posted: 01-10-08 13:26pm
We were not that close at school. We were
way closer then "I know who she is" but
more distant then regular friends. Like
we would talk but not all the time, so if
I were to put in on a scale from 1-10
where 1 being not close at all and 10
being attatched at the hip, I would say 5.
you don't want to
end up as "just an MSN buddy" do you 