Ayrshire-lass
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2007
Posts: 649
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
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pregnant by best friend
Posted: 01-08-08 11:50am
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Hay i'm in a bit of a sticky situation. in
the last 4 months or so ive had sex a few
times with my best friend. were always
together and everyone assumes were a
couple lol 
but were soo close and hes soo nice
looking.
i honestly dnt think he feels the same way
back but ive been hurt soo many times b4
and when people say just tell him i cant
stand things going wrong and losing
everything we have.
p.s found out am pregnent.
HELP!
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greekjohn
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 99
Location: Toronto, Ontario,
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Posted: 01-09-08 14:12pm
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Maybe you should tell him how you feel
about him. Its a hard thing to do and
I'll tell you one thing its a bit of
gamble. A chick that I'm friends with
told me she had feelings for me, and I had
somewhat feelings for but there wasn't
that much physical attraction between me
and her, but between her and me there was
a whole lot. In the end she was hurt but
she learned to deal with it and we are
still friend. I also think you should
tell him that your pregnant, if it is his
kid.
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Ayrshire-lass
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2007
Posts: 649
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
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Posted: 01-10-08 07:48am
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i understand what you mean. but i started
to like my bestfriend b4 him and ended up
in sex as well but i was well hurt out of
that one n i dnt want this one to go the
same way. i'm not going to tell him untill
i'm a wee bit in to it. shood i just
pretend i dnt like him in that way or do i
honestly tell him and rewin the chances of
still being friends???
what did you do?
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greekjohn
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 99
Location: Toronto, Ontario,
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Posted: 01-10-08 20:23pm
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I would honestly tell him the truth, he
deserves to know and its better that you
tell him sooner rather then later.
Basically this is what happend with me.
The girl liked me, she told me. I was
flattered but I wouldnt date her. She was
my friend, I kinda liked her but there was
no physical attraction between us so she
got hurt. But she told me that she liked
me and she knew that I kinda liked her but
there were certain things that she would
need to do so I could be more attracted to
her. In conclusion it was a somewhat of a
bad experience she became like a
girlfriend to me and now things have
changed.
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Ayrshire-lass
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2007
Posts: 649
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
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Posted: 01-11-08 09:05am
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ouch  well i bet that
was hard to say.
you see i kinda feel the way she might be
but the only problem is were together 24/7
and we know each others familys soo well.
hes fosterd and i'm the only person to
meet his real mum n brothers n sisters.
but hes always going on about different
girls and ex's and talks ta me like one of
his boys mates.
are you and this friend still as good a
pals as you were before she told you how
she felt??
xxxx
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Marianne0558
Supporter
Joined: 10 Sep 2007
Posts: 1676
Location: Charleston, SC USA
Thanks: 41
Thanked:6
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Posted: 01-11-08 09:43am
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I've been with one of my best friends and
it totally RUINED everything.
We slept together a few times, and our
whole friendship fell apart.
But since you are pregnant, you need to
tell him ASAP so you all can work out a
plan of action.
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greekjohn
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 99
Location: Toronto, Ontario,
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Posted: 01-11-08 10:35am
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| Ayrshire-lass
wrote: | ouch well i bet that
was hard to say.
you see i kinda feel the way she might be
but the only problem is were together 24/7
and we know each others familys soo well.
hes fosterd and i'm the only person to
meet his real mum n brothers n sisters.
but hes always going on about different
girls and ex's and talks ta me like one of
his boys mates.
are you and this friend still as good a
pals as you were before she told you how
she felt??
xxxx |
As hard as it is to say, its actually
easier for me to post on a forum rather
then just saying it. Up until the other
day no one in my family knew about her,
well they knew that she was my friend but
you know they didnt know what had happened
between us, I told one of my cousins since
he is having troubles with his girlfriend
well now ex as well as a few other girls.
You see we were kinda joined at the hip as
well, but the only difference is we were
not around each other all the time. We
were always talking on the phone, msn,
facebook, text messages etc.. So it hurt
her even more when I would not date her
cause it was like we were boyfriend and
girlfriend. Another similarity is that I
was really wanted to hook up with one of
two girls, one that I used to go to greek
school with or this one that goes to the
same church my family attends, so I would
sometimes talk about them and that was one
of my reasons why I couldn't date her of
course there were other reasons as well.
Our relationship today, its nothing like
what we had. I sometimes miss it. It was
something special. Like I would wake up
and I'd have a text message from her. At
first our friendship was great then after
we had our little break up we were barley
talking and when we would if was kinda
akward, for her mostly cause she was
pissed at me. But within a few weeks she
kinda moved on and we started talking
again and she me a boy and they started
dating and then she was really happy.
After she started dating this guy our
relationship went back almost to the level
where it was prior to our break up thing.
Then she kinda broke up with him and now
its back to normal even though she started
dating a older fella our relationship is
pretty good now. Like every time she
needs advice or just wants to talk she
rings me up.
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gingerelizabeth
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jan 2008
Posts: 79
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Posted: 01-11-08 11:10am
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hey!
dating a best friend in any situation is
bad. but considering he is your best
friend, no matter what he will be there
for you and the best thing you can do is
just be 100% up front with him.
it will save any relationship and
friendship there will be
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Maddie34
Supporter
Joined: 06 Oct 2007
Posts: 1287
Location: ,
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Posted: 01-12-08 04:18am
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If anything you can just ask him where you
two are at.
I mean I think having sex on multiple
occasions gives you reason enough to put
that question forward and not make things
awkward.
Did you have an agreement that this
wouldn't turn into more-- not judging, I'm
just trying to understand? If thats not
the case then why are you having sex with
him when he's going on about ex's and
other girls?
I'd probably give him a head's up on what
you're planning with the pregnancy. It
really won't make things better if you
wait on that.
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Ayrshire-lass
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2007
Posts: 649
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
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Posted: 01-12-08 13:32pm
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Thanx for all the heads up on this folks
its realy helping me alot.
you see i dont know what people call it in
different places but hes real nice looking
and alot of girls like him. so he just
sits back and enjoys the ride basicly. hes
obv had good times with ex's but hes
always talking about the bad things in
them. yano bad habbits and things that he
didnt like about them. hes also the kida
guy to whistle at a complete random if he
thinks there nice 
(you know the type) lol
well anyway its wierd were like an old
married couple i'm the health forum n hes
the wife lol. 
well anyway we have sex on a kind of for
the whole sake of having sex situation its
not a moment of love shared lol its an (I
NEED SEX) moment. and then the next day
were back to the exact same as we were b4
the sex. none of my friends know how we do
it. 
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Maddie34
Supporter
Joined: 06 Oct 2007
Posts: 1287
Location: ,
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Posted: 01-12-08 13:57pm
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Well surely the two of you had a
conversation as to WHERE the sex puts you?
Did he say he didn't want anything else to
come from this?
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Ayrshire-lass
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2007
Posts: 649
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
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Posted: 01-13-08 10:50am
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nope no conversation lol yea i know ok it
sounds stupid lol but it just happens we
dnt really talk about it unless we have to
or if were having a laugh with our other
friends.
usually if were both staying at someone
elses house or even mine we share a room
because were obv such great friends. he
gets sore backs from work and it always
starts off with a massage. (shoodnt it be
me getting one tho )
anyway we didnt/havnt spoke about it like
that
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005
Posts: 2419
Location: North Carolina
Thanks: 14
Thanked:3
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Posted: 01-13-08 11:20am
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| Ayrshire-lass
wrote: | nope no conversation lol yea
i know ok it sounds stupid lol but it just
happens we dnt really talk about it unless
we have to or if were having a laugh with
our other friends.
usually if were both staying at someone
elses house or even mine we share a room
because were obv such great friends. he
gets sore backs from work and it always
starts off with a massage. (shoodnt it be
me getting one tho )
anyway we didnt/havnt spoke about it like
that |
Let me see about this Ayrshire. This is
your best friend and you decide to have
sex cause you feel like it with him and
you didn't discussed with him about birth
control nor so if he had any sexual
disease before you had sex and now you are
pregnant and you don't even tell him? Omg.
I can tell you are young and careless.
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Ayrshire-lass
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2007
Posts: 649
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
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Posted: 01-13-08 11:42am
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eh? if he had a STI i'd know. (best friend
remember)
and where are you from? does everyone
disscus intercourse and everything with
everyone. where do you fit that in. "
right now see b4 we have sex! where will
this take us?" call it a total turn off.
the sex situation would get totaly thrown
out the window. yea i know its carless but
if i wasnt carless then i wouldnt need
adive and i wouldnt be on this. plus i'm
old enuff to know what i'm doing with
this. just needed a bit of help.
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Maddie34
Supporter
Joined: 06 Oct 2007
Posts: 1287
Location: ,
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Posted: 01-13-08 14:26pm
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haha I had that conversation with my
boyfriend and we've been together for
awhile! We still both were checked for
stds too even though I was a virgin and we
are best friends. It may be a turn off for
the momment but I refused to consider sex
until I made sure he knew everything I'm
going to do to prevent pregnancy and what
I would do in case of pregnancy.
Are you completely against having a good
ol' conversation about things now? My
advice: Tell him whats going on and whats
on your mind. He's your best friend so you
should really feel comfortable talking
about this sorta thing with him I'd think.
Are you going to tell him your preg?
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Ayrshire-lass
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2007
Posts: 649
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
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Posted: 01-13-08 14:59pm
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yea i'll tell him l8ly hes been going thru
alot with his mum. thought ad leve it to a
day he was a wee bit happy might tell him
tomorrow after court. (dnt ask )
yano were real close but i feel sooo wierd
talking about that. see i would if he was
my boyfriend. not shaggin everyone in town
i think it would put a right cramp on
whatever we have going on lol.
i know hes not got any STD's because there
was a big uproar about clymidia from my
other friend and he told everyone to get
tested so we all walked in causing a party
in the waiting room lol. never seen so
many happy people in a clinic b4
hahahahaah.
anyway we last had sex after we both got
tested.
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Maddie34
Supporter
Joined: 06 Oct 2007
Posts: 1287
Location: ,
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Posted: 01-13-08 15:16pm
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[quote="Ayrshire-lass"]
yano were real close but i feel sooo wierd
talking about that. see i would if he was
my boyfriend. not shaggin everyone in town
quote]
What?
And it's good you both were tested. You
need to talk to this guy about it. I don't
know what your plan is but since you're so
close, the fact that you're keeping this
from him at all doesn't show any trust or
maturity on your side and that alone could
really bother him. I know you're probably
a very mature girl, and thats really the
only reason I feel comfortable telling you
that you're acting silly. You need to let
this guy know whats up.
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Ayrshire-lass
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2007
Posts: 649
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
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Posted: 01-14-08 14:43pm
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right ok folks news is out i told him!
and well his face went alot like this
lol he seriously freaked but said later on
that hes gonna need to deal with the fact
that its his responsability.
were gonna talk tomorrow but he looked
like he cuda shot himself rite there n
then  yikes!
think he might need to clear his head. al
let him lay for a few nights lol.
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Ayrshire-lass
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Dec 2007
Posts: 649
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland
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Posted: 01-14-08 14:43pm
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right ok folks news is out i told him!
and well his face went alot like this
lol he seriously freaked but said later on
that hes gonna need to deal with the fact
that its his responsability.
were gonna talk tomorrow but he looked
like he cuda shot himself rite there n
then yikes!
think he might need to clear his head. al
let him lay for a few nights lol.
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Maddie34
Supporter
Joined: 06 Oct 2007
Posts: 1287
Location: ,
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Thanked:15
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Posted: 01-14-08 15:02pm
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Yay! You told him!
It's both your responsibility so make sure
you let him know you're in this together.
If he's already having trouble with other
things in his life then make sure you be
the friend you say you are and help
eachother through this.
Good luck and keep us updated!
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