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Katrinadoodle
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2007
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More Help?
Posted: 01-08-08 20:45pm
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I can not take my mother anymore. I'm sick
of her b*tching at me over every little
thing, of constantly putting down how I'm
raising Jay, of not giving a sh*t about
anyone but herself. I'm fed up with her
acting like I sit on my ass all day
because the house doesn't get spotlessly
cleaned every day. She always seems to
"forget" that I have a kid to take care of
and I'M IN SCHOOL. Jayden is up most of
the night, either she has a tummyache,
she's colicy, or she's just.. up. Alert.
Not fussing, just awake. And I can't sleep
unless she is... so we sleep during the
day. Between feeding and bathing and
changing Jay, my school work, and the
chores that are at the top of MY list of
priorities (keeping mine and Jayden's room
clean, washing her dirty washcloths,
washing her clothes) I'm lucky if my mom's
chores, like scrubbing the kitchen and
picking up the downstairs, get done. And
I'm sick of getting treated like a lazy
slave all the time.
On top of that, I'm just emotional all the
damn time. I cry over everything, and now
it's even worse because when I think about
Erica the tears start falling again. Just
typing up that sentence started me
sobbing. And my mom doesn't give a flying
f*ck. When she asked why I was crying this
morning, I told her a friend I'd known
since I was 8 died, her response was
"Oh... *pause* Don't forget to do the
dishes today."
What the hell.
But my problem is... should I move out? If
I move in with Jacob, I'm going to lose my
job. And it's a GREAT job. I make $13 an
hour, plus commissions for any appliances
I sell. Jacob lives two hours away, and I
can't drive (no license). He lives in a
tiny town, pretty much all it has going
for it job wise (that I could get) would
be Pizza Hut. Jacob already drives to
another city an hour away from his house
to work, and I couldn't get a job there.
Plus my work has a child care center, so
Jayden would be close by me all the time.
I've even talked to my boss about
switching from meal preparation to working
in the child care, so I'd be taking care
of Jayden and getting paid for it 
So... I don't know.
Moving out would set us back quiet a bit
financially, we'd have to rely on our
parents a LOT more than we do now. But on
the other hand, I honestly feel like I'm
going crazy here. I don't think that the
constant yelling's having an effect on
Jay, she's a happy little baby... so maybe
it's best for her if I stay here.
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 7863
Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
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Posted: 01-08-08 20:52pm
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You should wait. Moving out isn't only
about MONEY. Moving out is about a lot of
emotional stress. You think you are
stressed now? It gets worse. And all the
other chores you are talking about not
getting to (your mom's stuff), you would
be REQUIRED to do that because there would
be no one else.
Stay at home where life is cheaper as long
as you can. Sit down and talk to your mom
about what is expected and how you are
feeling about this. FYI: do not do this
when either of you is angry!! It will only
turn into a yelling match!
Good luck.
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Katrinadoodle
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2007
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Posted: 01-08-08 20:58pm
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Just gotta point out a few things I didn't
mention:
I wouldn't be moving out on my own, I'd be
moving in with Jacob and his mom and
sister.
And there is no one else to do the chores
here, if I don't do them they don't get
done, too bad so sad.
And my mom is never not mad. She gets up
at 7, yells at everyone until she leaves
at 7:30, gets home at 6, yells some more,
and holes up in her room. That's... it.
That's all we ever see of her.
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newmommy07
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2007
Posts: 682
Location: Sparks, NV, 89434
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Posted: 01-08-08 21:00pm
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I agree with Ingi. Try to stick it out,
even tho thats very difficult, at least
things would be cheaper. Ingi pretty much
said what I would tell you so goodluck and
I wish the best for you guys. 
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13936
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 01-08-08 21:11pm
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i have to agree with ingi
in the mean time you may want to talk to
your dr asap about the crying and stuff.
i know you FEEL like your going crazy.
your stressed. this is a hard job. and you
need more help
why doesnt jacob come move in with you? he
seriously needs to be there to help with
chorse and the baby so its not all on you.
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Katrinadoodle
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2007
Posts: 1231
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Posted: 01-08-08 21:16pm
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It's the same thing in reverse. He would
lose his Job because he doesn't have a
car, he drives to work with his mom every
day. And his job is great too.
Plus he and my mom kinda.. hate each
other. Making them live together would add
to the tension here quite a bit.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13936
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 01-08-08 21:20pm
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hmm
this is a tough one 
maybe just try and save some money for a
while? didnt you say he was helping pay
for medical bills? maybe the money you are
putting towards that you could just save
for a while. med bills are important but
you have to prioritze. if you seriously
feel like you cant be there much longer
then you need to save that money so you
can move out in the near future. then
maybe get a job near jacobs work if you do
move with him. that way you can all go to
work together. in the mean time are you on
wic? if not get on it
you qualify for it and it will help alot
too
tell your mom your not superwoman and to
lay off
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Katrinadoodle
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2007
Posts: 1231
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Posted: 01-08-08 21:27pm
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I've already tried WIC, I don't qualify,
Jacob, my mom, and I all make way too much
money.
We got on AHCCCS for medical insurance for
Jayden, they take the money out of Jacobs
pay check to pay the bills. I don't
actually see any of his money. And the
money that he gets to keep go to paying
his family's bills.
I guess I'm just going to have to suck it
up and stay here. My mom is more
financially stable than Jacob's is... if I
moved in with them Jayden would still be
provided for, but things would be tougher,
especially if I wasn't working.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13936
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 5554
Location: FL
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Posted: 01-08-08 22:44pm
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silly question but has he always lived so
far away?
Why is he helping his family pays bills?
hes got his own small family now and need
to be saving the money to get a car so he
can drive himself to a job. I think you
both need to save all the money you can
and not spend it on anything you dont
absolutely need. One day if yall intend to
live together one of you will have to quit
your job and find a new one so you will
need a nice saving to do so. Also I
understand you have a lot going on but if
you were living on your own youd have to
do all the house chores + take care of Jay
n go to school. Its not just your house so
you shouldnt be the only one doing it but
dishes take all of five minutes and then
maybe your mom would back down a little
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Katrinadoodle
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2007
Posts: 1231
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Posted: 01-08-08 23:47pm
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No, he used to live in Flagstaff, which is
about 4 hours away. Then he moved down the
street from me at his dads house, but his
dad is an abusive friend so Jacob moved in
with his mom. He helps out with the
families bills because his mom is really
bad with money and usually ends up short
at the end of the month, even though she
makes more than he does.
I do save money, I have a nice chunk saved
in the bank. I'd rather keep that in case
my step-dad pulls out of paying for half
my college tuition though. After my
step-dad gives the money to me, I could
use it as a cushion, but right now school
is more important because I can't garuntee
I won't be paying for all of it.
and "all of 5 minutes"?
Yeah, you need to see this kitchen. We
have 6 other people living at my house,
who don't know what it means to "clean
up". Both sides of the sink and the
counters around it are piled up with
dishes. It takes me nearly an hour to get
the dishwasher loaded and everything else
washed. Longer, if I'm trying to do it
while the washer is running because our
hot water heater is crap.
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yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 5554
Location: FL
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Posted: 01-08-08 23:49pm
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we have 6 ppl i n this house n it takes me
5 mins a day
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Katrinadoodle
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2007
Posts: 1231
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Posted: 01-08-08 23:52pm
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Lucky you. I swear this family uses every
dish and utensil we own on a daily basis.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13936
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 01-09-08 01:09am
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i understand he wants to help with hsi
moms bills but.
hes got his OWN family now. shee needs to
learn how to manage her own money. thats
extremely wring of her to even take money
from him when she KNOWS he has a kid that
he should be providing for. his mom needs
to step up and stop it.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13936
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 01-09-08 01:10am
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oh and i have some good advice for the
dishes thing
maybe go buy a TON of paper plates and
those plastic cups. write your name on a
cup and have everyone else do the same
thing and then you ONLY use one cup a day
for all of your drinks and if everyone has
thier name on it they wont get mixed up.
then all you would have to wash is spoons
and forks but even then you can but the
plastic kind! 
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Sandbox Party
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2006
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Posted: 01-09-08 01:41am
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write ur name on a paper plate and use it
over and over.
wash it.
kthanxbai.
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yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 5554
Location: FL
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Posted: 01-09-08 04:40am
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break half the dishes and then there will
be ahlf as many to use so ppl have to
reuse the one they already have
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Katrinadoodle
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2007
Posts: 1231
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Posted: 01-09-08 20:20pm
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That would work 
I can't win with my mom. Today I put off
all my schoolwork and cleaned... I got the
kitchen scrubbed, the bathroom cleaned,
all the piled up laundry washed and
folded, and the entire house vacuumed...
and my mom came home and got pissy because
I didn't mop.
I give up -_-
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yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 5554
Location: FL
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Posted: 01-09-08 20:27pm
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omg 
how did u not say "listen ungrateful B, i
am not the only person that lives in this
house! i just wont do sh*t since it doesnt
please you."
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ladylee70
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006
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Posted: 01-09-08 21:33pm
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Wait...where do you live? I used to live
in Surprise, AZ (near Phoenix and Peoria).
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