Joined: 09 Jan 2008 Posts: 6 Location: Mississippi,
18 pregnant single Posted: 01-09-08 22:15pm
Hello~!
My name is Michelle, I'm 18 and I'm 16wks
1day pregnant. The long version of 'my
story' is in my profile but here is a
condensed version.
I lived in CO Springs with my then
boyfriend when I found out I was pregnant.
I [well, we rather]decided to move back
home to MS since we were dead broke [and
already having a ton of relationship
trouble] up there and I knew I wouldn't
get any kind of help, money or emotional
wise.
So once I get back home, he decides that
he already has to much on his plate with
his custody battle for his 3 year old to
even deal with me or the baby. That 'I'm
being taken care of down here so why such
he worry?'
So, in short, I'm in this alone. I have
family but no friends to speak of because
I picked his sorry ass over them about 6
months ago. Karma huh?
I'm just...really hurt and lonely at the
moment. Don't get me wrong, I'm already in
love with my little beanbaby but I'm just
so scared at being a single mother so
young.
Any tips, advice, hugs, anything, is
greatly greatly loved.
|
mominashoe
Supporter
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 1590 Location: , USA
Thanks: 18
Thanked:6
Posted: 01-09-08 22:41pm
I'm sorry things didn't work out the way
you planned, but I'm sure your family
loves you and if you talked to them, I'm
sure they would find a place for you in
their lives with them again? Why do you
say "I'm being taken care of down here" if
you have no one?
It's reasonable to be scared, but you
really aren't alone. Your family hasn't
gone anywhere, so you should contact them.
As for your loser BF, he is the father,
so legally he has to pay for child support
no matter if he decides to stay with you
or not. Concentrate on your baby and
keeping yourself healthy and remember that
it isn't your fault that some people can't
live up to being responsible
adults....people like your boyfriend who
run away when things get to be hard and
complicated.
|
TeenMommyofTwo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2008 Posts: 9 Location: New Jersey, USA
Posted: 01-13-08 01:37am
i am really sorry i understand, I mean I
really do. I had this boyfriend for years
and he doesnt live up to being a father..
some men dont change. I have a almost two
year old, and after going through hell
over a immature guy, i thought he changed
and got pregnant by him again... guess
what? nothing changed he's raither play
games then spend time with his kids. And
what's more stupid... my friends told
me... and he had a kid before my two. but
I thought she was some health forum like
he said.
Anyways all in all, I will be your friend
I am 18 too and having my second baby. So
I honestly understand. Just so you know,
Men are suckers lol. And I agree
concentrate on the baby. And I am sure
your old friends or people your ex knows
too will support you.
One thing to think about though (and I
learned this the hard way) is how he
treats his ex and his other child, is how
he'll treat you and this baby. And
remember there's always two sides to the
story..
I am sorry again I hope this helps
|
Jude-Love
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 727 Location: Williamstown, Kentucky USA
Posted: 01-13-08 01:50am
I am so sorry. Do you have any
information on this guy? Where he lives
and works?
You can be a single mother. People do
this everyday. If your family is there
for you, you can make it work. Right now,
just focus on keeping yourself as healthy
and happy as you can.
|
michellec601
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2008 Posts: 6 Location: Mississippi,
Posted: 01-13-08 14:36pm
Jude-Love
wrote:
I am so sorry. Do you have
any information on this guy? Where he
lives and works?
You can be a single mother. People do
this everyday. If your family is there
for you, you can make it work. Right now,
just focus on keeping yourself as healthy
and happy as you
can.
Thanks :]
I know I can do it, but, I didn't think I
would HAVE to at such a young age you
know? I'm only 18 and this isn't really
the way I saw things happening, lol. I'll
live, I'm sure
He lives in Colorado, over 1000 miles away
from me right now. And has no job
whatsoever
He said he was planning on moving back
here in June [when I am due] but I really
don't see that happening. At all.
So I'm going about this with the mindset
that I will be a single mother. I guess I
just need to stop worrying so much about
ever last detail and get ready, ha~
|
TeenMommyofTwo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2008 Posts: 9 Location: New Jersey, USA
Posted: 01-13-08 15:12pm
well he doesnt have to have a job he still
owes you child support and if worst comes
to worst you can get his taxes or put him
in jail [not sure what the rules are in
your state but its the state you live in
not his]
Is there a reason you don't think he's
moving back?
You can be a single mom, sometimes it's
easier. Without a jerk {sorry I *hate*
men} I am doing it, but it's hard, but
sometimes it's better then the guy.
Justin, my babies daddy, when we where
together he was a jerk to me, comparred me
to other girls he dated before me and
acted like I was his slave, he'd yell at
me, then make me feel guilty when I wanted
to go back home.
This time, I am doing better cause I know
nothing will change and I have to deal.
I wish I could help, but I know nothing
about your situation and I am a natural
mess up... but dont worry, make him help
you, you have that right.
If you need info on rights I am sure you
can find them. or I can help you find
them. I live in New Jersey, but I am sure
I can find or help you someway
**Alyssa
|
michellec601
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2008 Posts: 6 Location: Mississippi,
Posted: 01-13-08 16:38pm
TeenMommyofTwo
wrote:
well he doesnt have to have
a job he still owes you child support and
if worst comes to worst you can get his
taxes or put him in jail [not sure what
the rules are in your state but its the
state you live in not his]
Is there a reason you don't think he's
moving back?
You can be a single mom, sometimes it's
easier. Without a jerk {sorry I *hate*
men} I am doing it, but it's hard, but
sometimes it's better then the guy.
Justin, my babies daddy, when we where
together he was a jerk to me, comparred me
to other girls he dated before me and
acted like I was his slave, he'd yell at
me, then make me feel guilty when I wanted
to go back home.
This time, I am doing better cause I know
nothing will change and I have to deal.
I wish I could help, but I know nothing
about your situation and I am a natural
mess up... but dont worry, make him help
you, you have that right.
If you need info on rights I am sure you
can find them. or I can help you find
them. I live in New Jersey, but I am sure
I can find or help you someway
**Alyssa
See, I'm not even sure if I WANT his child
support. I've been trying to find out if I
do go for support, how much power and
decision rights it will give him regarding
the baby.
I wouldn't worry about it if I didn't know
what crap he would pull. Well, he and his
mama. [ugh, mamas boys!]
So right now I'm debating if I even want
him on the BC...Theres no doubt in my mind
he would try to take off with the baby or
something...
Colin's in Colorado for his custody case,
and because his mama made him so he can
look better. His parents don't want him to
move back in June because of all the work
'he' has done so far regarding the case.
And really, with him, what mama says goes.
God. Your guy sounds just like mine.
Wouldn't find a job, played video games
all day, blamed me for ALL his
problems....I was the maid, cook, main
source of income, sex object, babysitter,
everything but an equal..
He isn't even a good dad to the one little
boy he has. He -finally- got up to getting
him one night a week, after 2 years of
just getting him a few hours a week, and
rarely gets him then cause he is 'to
busy.' Doing what?! I would take care of
the boy when he got him. Colin just wanted
to...be his buddy. To not be a parent and
take care of the kid. So really, I don't
think my baby is gonna miss out on
anything special.
Just talking to someone that knows what
it's like is great. Makes me feel less
alone and like I might can actually do
this~
How far along pregnant are you?
|
TeenMommyofTwo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2008 Posts: 9 Location: New Jersey, USA
Posted: 01-13-08 16:57pm
In that case, don't put him on the BC and
don't give the baby his name. If your
worried about that. I can look up laws for
you.. and it doesn't sound like your baby
is going to miss out on anything.
I am 12 weeks and 2 days, about for a boy
now, you??
Do you know the story about the other
girl? His son's mom? Only reason I am
asking is cause, like I stated my ex had a
baby before my two, and that was a
retaired thing. But I learned that {after
it was to late} that he did to her what he
did to me. And it's sorta what you could
expect. But it sounds like he doesn't care
about his child, and has sad has this is
for you, if he doesnt care about his son
he wont care about your baby.
if you want you can pm me and tell me
more, and i'll tell you all of my story. I
dont have myspace, but maybe I should get
one?? lol you sound like someone I want to
be friends with
I know that sounds retaired its just I am
sorta lone too
|
UnluckyLady
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Mar 2008 Posts: 2 Location: Pine Ridge, SD,
Posted: 03-20-08 21:00pm
it doesn't sound like the guy is worth
your time, you need someone that treats
you like a princess not someone that a
deadbeat
|
michellec601
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2008 Posts: 6 Location: Mississippi,
Posted: 04-23-08 11:32am
Hey all, sorry for the old bump. Colin's
ex posted this on myspace to try to 'use
it against me' so it was brought back to
my attention. Just thought I would fill
you guys in on what has happened since my
first post here.
Our relationship has indured a lot of
stress from this girl, since the
beginning. I don't see why someone who
'isn't in love with him' is so set on
breaking us up but whatever.That's a
different story all together, ha~
We are currently dating again and even
searching around for apartments before the
baby comes.
Like I said, it has been an uphill battle
but as of right now, things are going
smoothly :]
The baby is due in about 8 weeks!!
Everyone is soooo excited! I can't wait to
see my little Lillian :]
So yeah....Things are going well for now.
Ha. I'll always be on guard though.
Hope everyone elses pregnancy is going
well!
Oh and I forgot to say hi to my stalker.
HI AMY.
|
PenguinsRus
Supporter
Joined: 05 Nov 2007 Posts: 1193 Location: New York, NY United States
Thanks: 28
Thanked:8
Posted: 04-26-08 16:56pm
Lillian is a beautiful name! It's
actually in my top 2 names for girls
(Lillian and Hannah). Congrats; I'm glad
you two are trying to work things out.
You'll have to update us when she arrives
with pics!
