anorexia for years, never satisfied Posted: 01-11-08 16:44pm
As long as I can remember. Iīm 37 and not
over it yet. I have a fair weight now. Iīm
a kick boxing blue belt working hard for
the green one. Boxing has kept me alive, I
eat īcause I have to be strong but every
bite is a torture and a sense of guilt
that never goes away. People around me
think that I m over it but all that I
think about is that I have to try never
give up or I will die...I feel fat even
when u can see my muscles.Its never
enough, its never good, never satisfied
never feel ok. Every body talks about
young girls with anorexia, I m a woman and
I just know I will never recover from it,
my doctor told me so. He said that u can
reach a point of no return. Am I there? I
fight every day and the pain is my best
friend so that I can feel my body. I donīt
like to eat in front of others, I donīt
like to watch people feeding. I have
gastritis and sometimes it hurts really
bad. But I like it so it will keep me from
eating even when I m not really hungry. I
ve got lots of demons to deal with...but I
try not to hurt those that I love and I
just keep it to myself. Had breakfast
today, I trained for about 3 hours, eat
some rice and I think later Iīll have some
sushi rolls. Today is friday, sunday is my
brotherīs birthday, no cake for me.
|
bibisim
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 76
Hi Posted: 03-17-08 07:53am
it s so great to know u dont starve urself
as u did before and do sport. I have been
anorexic my BMI was 16.9 or less. and i
know what does it mean to eat sushi for an
anorexic...this is a victory,congrats. No
cake? i am no more anorexic and bulimic
and even i hesitate to eat a cake, this is
not a healthy food, so enjoy the party . A
joy and love is a great help!!!
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