I'm in a pretty bad place right now. I
have no good friends. I'm living with my
parents at the moment because I haven't
got a choice. I won't go into details but
I don't get along with them well. We're on
very separate levels and I can't converse
with them and talk to them about my
problems because they just don't get it.
It's extremely frustrating. The more I
try, the more upset I get because it keeps
reminding me how unintelligent they are..
especially my mum.
The only real person I have is my older
brother but as of recently he's done some
pretty disrespectful sh*t towards me and
he knows it, but apparently family is
"unbreakable" so he thinks to himself
"he'll be fine". He's a lot like my
dad.... I hate it.
So now I'm pretty much by myself with no
one to talk to and no one who really
understands. I hate talking about this
stuff, I prefer to keep it in but I don't
know what to do. I feel like I'm digging
my own grave but I can't do anything about
it. And no one seems to know how I feel.
I've told my brother how I feel but he has
the same sort of feelings about himself
but it doesn't stop him to completely
disrespect me for a tad of happiness. It's
shameful. I know that sounds vague but I
don't wanna go into details.
I guess I just wanted to post this if
anyone else feels the same way.
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dpst420
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jan 2008 Posts: 5 Location: ,
Posted: 01-12-08 06:00am
trust me.. i know what alone is.
alone is everything i've been feeling for
a while...
i've felt it since the day my mom od'd and
died the day before i grad from
highschool.
i'm only 20 years old, and i've been thru
a trainwreck of tragedies.
the whole thing is is that, i let myself
go. i mean i don't know how you deal with
depression.. but i sure did the wrong
things to cope with all of it.
i began doing drugs heavily. and now my
mindset is totally off, "it wants, it
needs, it has to have" all on its own... i
dont have a say anymore i feel like.
i dont want to die like my mother, but its
like i know that if i dont stop, i will
end up like her, its been such a
depressing lonely field for me to play in
that i can't grab the energy to care about
anything anymore. i'm at the "f*ck it"
point of my life. and its pretty scary.
but i know what alone is like. i was
insanely close with my mom, and everything
feels like its breaking down in and
burning right in front of my eyes.
so yeah, i feel you on that.
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Stribre
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jan 2008 Posts: 2
Posted: 01-12-08 08:07am
Thanks for letting me know how you feel. I
feel everyone around me is living a normal
happy life. They've all got their friends
and supportive families.
There's so many major holes in my life
that I'm afraid to even think about them
because I feel it will only make things
worse. I dread looking into the future
because I'm on such a lonely and
self-destructive track but I'm powerless
to change it. Every day I get older I get
more upset about myself.
I'm letting myself slip more and more
every day and it just makes things worse.
It's getting to the point where I can't
recover.
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gingerelizabeth
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 79
Posted: 01-12-08 08:55am
i think there is a point in everyones
life..or many points where they feel just
like that.
especially when your maturing and all your
friends are stuck on a plateu.
you will get through it and come out the
other a stronger person.
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gingerelizabeth
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 79
Posted: 01-12-08 08:55am
i think there is a point in everyones
life..or many points where they feel just
like that.
especially when your maturing and all your
friends are stuck on a plateu.
you will get through it and come out the
other side a stronger person.
