michelle1981
Supporter
Joined: 20 Jul 2005
Posts: 7236
Location: Toronto, Canada
Thanks: 7
Thanked:6
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Posted: 01-13-08 22:26pm
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| the_girlfriend
wrote: | | she asked for it to be
locked right? if she requested it they are
supposed to lock it. didnt she say take it
to pm's? |
Look at her last post, Suzy, she was still
asking questions...
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 01-13-08 22:39pm
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oops
sorry i only read her last post i didnt
read the others!!!!!!!
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yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 5554
Location: FL
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Posted: 01-14-08 01:07am
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could u get a restraining order and him
have to leave the apt? i dunno how that
stuff works.
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Bridget
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Posts: 10817
Location: ,
Thanks: 61
Thanked:42
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Posted: 01-14-08 08:23am
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| the_girlfriend
wrote: | | kaiteo
wrote: | Request to be locked.
It's not because I don't want to hear what
people have to say, it's just that I see
this post going nowhere. I just forsee
arguments and bashing.
If you have something to say, PM me, but
please do it politely. I am very
vulnerable right
now. |
so
id like to know why this hasnt been locked
yet? |
(this goes for anyone) for future
reference, if you would like a thread
locked you should send me a PM. i try to
keep up but i don't always see every
single new post.
but since she's still asking questions and
people are trying to help, i'll leave it
open for now.
Last edited by Bridget on 01-14-08 08:43am; edited 1 time in total
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006
Posts: 3165
Location: Vacationland, USA,
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Posted: 01-14-08 08:30am
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in Maine you can't get a "restraining
order", but you can get an order of
protection. You go down to the District
court house on Hammond Street and ask for
the paperwork (it's free) and you fill it
out. Then you wait for a judge to be
available to review it and then he/she
signs it if they feel there is a danger.
This is a temporary order of protection.
He will be served by a Sheriff and you
will both be given a court date to go and
appear to make it a permanent thing. You
can get it for up to 2 years. If by
chance he doesn't show up for the court
date you get the order by default. If he
does than you will need to plead your case
to the judge.
It isn't hard to get one if you are in
danger, but if you have contact with him
you have broken the order and then it's
null and void.
I hope everything works out for the best
for you Katie.
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kaiteo
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Oct 2007
Posts: 1578
Location: Cold, Maine
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 01-14-08 09:53am
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You guys, I don't want a protection order.
It wasn't like last time. I just said he
was yelling and name calling and it wasn't
okay.
He is on a waiting list for anger
manangement. I need to at least give him a
chance to prove that this can work for
him. He has been better, but not ANYWHERE
near perfect.
I know I'm going to get replies saying
"dump him, he doesn't deserve another
chance" but I have BEEN through what he is
going through, even if I didn't get
arrested because of my bipolar. He wants
to get help, and I really think that is
the first step. I know I would want
another chance.
Thank you again for all of your help
girls. I really mean it, and I meant it
before. 
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kaiteo
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Oct 2007
Posts: 1578
Location: Cold, Maine
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 01-14-08 09:55am
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P.S. I just dropped him off at college. He
decided to go back, so I think it will
make a big difference in his mood. I know
when I'm at home all day I get really
depressed and peeved easily. Especially
when I didn't have a job.
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Magical Logic
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 2248
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Posted: 01-14-08 09:59am
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i would not take a chance to wait around
and see if he is gonna get better.the next
time he could hurt you and the baby.
why not leave and let him get the help he
needs than go back once he is better?
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kaiteo
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Oct 2007
Posts: 1578
Location: Cold, Maine
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 01-14-08 10:00am
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I'm not going to explain this again.
The court said they want me to go with him
to anger management to understand him
better. I plan to do that.
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Magical Logic
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 2248
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Posted: 01-14-08 10:02am
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this is a prime example of ..you cant
help someone who does not want help
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kaiteo
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Oct 2007
Posts: 1578
Location: Cold, Maine
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 01-14-08 10:06am
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I said I would like suggestions, and i'm
sorry if it offends you that I don't like
giving up on people and don't take your
suggestion.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you
have an abusive husband you kept going
back to even though everyone else told you
not to?
EDITED to add: Jamie I never even talk to
you. I don't understand why so suddenly
you want to "help". It seems like you just
want to throw your opinionated two cents
in like you do in every other post.
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Magical Logic
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 2248
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Posted: 01-14-08 10:07am
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| kaiteo
wrote: | I said I would like
suggestions, and i'm sorry if it offends
you that I don't like giving up on people
and don't take your suggestion.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you
have an abusive husband you kept going
back to even though everyone else told you
not to? |
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Magical Logic
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 2248
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Posted: 01-14-08 10:10am
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| kaiteo
wrote: | I said I would like
suggestions, and i'm sorry if it offends
you that I don't like giving up on people
and don't take your suggestion.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you
have an abusive husband you kept going
back to even though everyone else told you
not to?
EDITED to add: Jamie I never even talk to
you. I don't understand why so suddenly
you want to "help". It seems like you just
want to throw your opinionated two cents
in like you do in every other
post. |
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kaiteo
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Oct 2007
Posts: 1578
Location: Cold, Maine
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 01-14-08 10:14am
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Sorry, I thought I read in other posts
that he did something wrong.
I do want help, with custody issues. Not
leaving him. Keep it open.
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ladylee70
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006
Posts: 1912
Location: Boise, Idaho,
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 01-14-08 13:05pm
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I am just curious. If you are with him,
what can be done about custody? Doesn't
custody issues or discussion occur if you
are no longer with the person. I don't
know. I am just asking. I can't imagine a
court giving you full custody if you are
already living with the person. Someone
enlighten me.
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 8783
Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 161
Thanked:194
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Posted: 01-14-08 13:09pm
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Custody: She can get custody of their
daughter even if she lives with the
father. It just means, she has the legal
right to take the child when they do not
live together any longer and his
visitation will be limited to what is
listed in the custody agreement. 'Custody'
is just the legal term for who has the
'right' to the child/ren. Full custody is
a parents FULL right to that child.
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 8783
Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 161
Thanked:194
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Posted: 01-14-08 13:24pm
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| kaiteo
wrote: | thanks, suzy. we are waiting
to hear back from HUD, actually. i want to
just do it by myself, though.
i tried calling a shelter the night nick
got arrested but they said i seemed safe,
so they couldnt do anything about it 
i just don't understand. i want to
cry. |
I wanted to reply to this specifically.
HUD houses/apartments are incredibly hard
to come by - waiting lists are upwards of
3-5 years. So unless you've been on their
waiting list for a long period of time,
chances are this won't be a valid option
for you in the near future. But still, GET
ON THE LIST! You never know where you'll
be in 3-5 years, you know? 
Good luck.
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006
Posts: 3165
Location: Vacationland, USA,
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Posted: 01-14-08 13:34pm
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Section 8 and Bangor Housing are good
options in your area for low income
housing. There is still a waiting list,
but not as long. The apartments are nice
too.
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Magical Logic
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 2248
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Posted: 01-14-08 13:41pm
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i dont know how it works there but with my
first child we were not married he had to
go to court just to get his rights to our
daughter i cant think of what its called.
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006
Posts: 3165
Location: Vacationland, USA,
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Posted: 01-14-08 13:48pm
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Here (Maine) parents have equal rights if
your married or not. So if the mother or
father wanted to they could take the kid
and there would be nothing legally the
other parent could do. When parents part
ways they have to go to court or at least
attend a mediation to agree on where the
child has primary residence. It's a
screwy situation.
You really have to prove that the other
parent is unfit or unable to have rights.
It isn't as easy as one would think. My
daughters biological father is a dirt bag
loser and I had to hire a lawyer to take
his parental rights away. It wasn't easy
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