Hi my names Jim, we had a party at my
apartment last night, I got alittle too
drunk and this girl that i just met that
night, pretty much took advantage of me. I
remember i kept on telling her that i
didnt wanna have sex, just fool around but
somehow she talked me into it, and i had
sex without a condom (didnt even think
about it i was so drunk).
Im 21, and this is only the 2nd girl ive
had sex with. the first was a high school,
long-time girlfriend that we both took
each other virginities, and we still
always used a condom. im always really
safe about my health, girls always come on
to me at parties and i never let it go too
far, and ive never done anything like this
before.
Im so scared right now, ive been depressed
all day, its all ive been thinking about
all day. I know i need to go get checked
out, but if she had something, what are
the chances that i got it? we had sex for
about 5 minutes, and right after, i took a
shower, washed my genitals twice really
hard, and peed, and brushed my teeth
twice. Im so scared right now, my life was
going so great. even after the washing, if
she has a disease, is there a pretty good
chance that i got it?
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 01-12-08 20:36pm
if she had a disease there is a high
chance you got it
also you could have gotten her pregnant
gi get tested and dont get so drunk that
this can happen ever again
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unnamedny
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Dec 2007 Posts: 93 Location: New York, USA
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Posted: 01-13-08 03:48am
Listen, don't get paranoid about this,
you've done it there is no way back. Go
get a check up. Chances that she had
something are pretty low, but if she had
something you might got it.
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Canary
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jan 2008 Posts: 11
Posted: 01-13-08 06:13am
I read a great quote once: 'My life has
been full of disasters - most of which
never happened!'
We have all done things we regret. Chances
are you will get away with this one but
put your mind at rest and get a check-up.
My concern would be that she might have
got pregnant so maybe it is a warning to
you not to drink so much!
thanks for the advice everybody. i really
appreciate it. im not concerned about her
gettin pregnant, im pretty sure i pulled
out, im just concerned about an std or
soemthing. im just like the biggest health
nut ever, did sports in HS and college,
workout, take multi-vitimans. never smoke,
rarely drink alot... =(. all my
grandparents are in their late 80s with
perfect health, my main goal in life was
to live past 100... if i get get out of
this safe, i know ill never do anything
like that again.
afterwards it was like i had a drunken
moment of clarity and realized what i did
and stumbled to the shower. i know it
wouldnt completely prevent anything, but
did peeing and washing afterwards help at
all?
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fiona05
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Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
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Posted: 01-13-08 13:46pm
this is the second time i have had to post
this today so i feel like a tape stuck on
a loop...
pulling out before ejaculation does NOT
prevent pregnancy. during sex, the penis
secretes small amounts of precum, which
contains sperm. i don't mean to make you
feel worse than you already do, but you
may have got her pregnant too. i would
hunt this girl down and find out if she is
on any birth control and if she isn't,
then you need to go with her down to the
local clinic or doctor to get the morning
after pill. otherwise you may get a letter
in 9 months time from the child support
agency demanding that you pay her towards
the upbringing of the baby!
do not rely on the 'pull out method' ever,
because it is not effective
contraception!!!!!!!!
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
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Posted: 01-14-08 13:11pm
Do you feel this was rape?
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Canary
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jan 2008 Posts: 11
Posted: 01-15-08 18:46pm
Good question, Georgia - for he is
certainly describing the usual behaviour
of a rape victim.
I suppose it is something that we as a
society still have to reconcile ourselves
to, that men can be raped and sexually
assualted, too.
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gingerelizabeth
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 79
Posted: 01-15-08 19:02pm
hey
if she did have something theres a small
chance you would get it once after 5
minutes
dont stress.
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cmander159
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 01-16-08 04:45am
"the penis secretes small amounts of
precum, which contains sperm."
Fiona, you should be entirely accurate if
you're going to go around posting that
constantly.
Precum doesn't contain sperm by default.
It *can* contain it, however that is
unlikely unless the guy had just had sex
or pleasured himself and orgasmed already.
Usually, peeing will "clean the guy out"
- but it's still risky.
Not saying pulling out is a good method,
but you should definitely put the straight
facts out, it's not something you should
be using as a pure scare-tactic, and can
destroy your credibility with some people.
Pulling out, according to wikipedia, has
about the same perfect-use success rate as
condoms though, interesting side-fact.
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
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Posted: 01-16-08 13:45pm
yes, it is somewhat effective. But not
entirely effective- and there's no way to
know when it is going to work and when it
isn't. If you had sex and pulled out, that
is NOT a sure sign that you aren't going
to get pregnant, know what I mean?
Perfect use meaning what- that you somehow
made sure that there wasn't any sperm in
your pre-cum? It's just not possible. I
think it's safe to say that if you're in a
relationship and not too concerned about
pregnancy, it's a good enough method to
use. But it's not reliable if pregnancy
would be a really bad thing for you.
In other words, I realize it has some
level of effectiveness, but Fiona was not
out of line to bring up the fact that she
may have gotten pregnant. Because she
could've.
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cmander159
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 01-16-08 15:41pm
I know, I think we agree overall, I just
don't like people excluding the whole
truth to suit their agenda. These are
health forums, not opinion forums, I would
think getting as much accuracy as possible
should be the goal.
Sorry if I ruffled some feathers, I just
tend to think more scientifically, I
rather have issues with dishonesty and
that's how I see situations where the
entire truth is held back to fulfill an
agenda. Personally, I also appreciate
knowing the how and why behind something,
so I'm going to like explaining that to
others too >.<
So again, my apologies if it seems like
I'm jumping on her case, I'd just rather
seek truth and see that properly spread
around.
Perfect-use is the just the term used for
when everything goes exactly as it should
- The condom doesn't break, the pill isn't
missed, little things like that.
So, barring abstinence, combining as many
of the methods as possible and following
the instructions 100% is going to be your
best bet to preventing pregnancy, but they
*all* still have potential to fail.
Condoms themselves are only slightly
better in both typical and perfect use
situations - But I would definitely call
them more than "slightly effective." - I
don't think there is a 100% perfect
contraceptive out there, so it all comes
down to how many percentage points you'll
let it slide before it fails into the
"ineffective" contraceptive category.
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
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Posted: 01-16-08 15:49pm
Thanks for posting that. It really is
helpful.
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fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
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Posted: 01-16-08 20:38pm
cmander159
wrote:
"the penis secretes small
amounts of precum, which contains sperm."
Fiona, you should be entirely accurate if
you're going to go around posting that
constantly.
Precum doesn't contain sperm by default.
It *can* contain it, however that is
unlikely unless the guy had just had sex
or pleasured himself and orgasmed already.
Usually, peeing will "clean the guy out"
- but it's still risky.
Not saying pulling out is a good method,
but you should definitely put the straight
facts out, it's not something you should
be using as a pure scare-tactic, and can
destroy your credibility with some people.
Pulling out, according to wikipedia, has
about the same perfect-use success rate as
condoms though, interesting
side-fact.
interesting comment and good point,
thankyou for pointing it out, it is
something i will bear in mind next time
posting. but i think you are picking
hairs. the chances of precum containing
no sperm whatsoever are pretty slim, and
it only takes one to do the job. the most
important thing is getting across the
point that it is not wholly effective and
shouldnt be practised without other means
of contraception. an amazing amount of
people dont seem to know this.
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
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Posted: 01-16-08 22:20pm
Usually when people come on and say they
are using the pull-out method it has more
to do with teenagers acting irresponsibly.
Planned parenthood gives the same
effectivess rates for pull-out, but says
it is NOT a good idea for teenagers or
people who are inexperienced/irresponsible
or people who would really be bad off if
they got pregnant.
Because of that, on this site, we always
say not to use it.
If you are, for example, married and
financially stable and prepared to have a
child, it might be a good enough method,
but not if you are a teen or something.
But that's not what this guy wanted to
know, really.....
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cmander159
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2008 Posts: 10
Posted: 01-17-08 02:49am
I've actually been debating starting a new
thread (to get more replies) or if I
should post my issue here, because quite
frankly I'm in a nearly identical
situation.
I could almost copy paste parts of the OP
haha.
I'm 20, I've only had sex with two
partners, the first being my highschool
love, we both were virgins, etc. The
second ended up being a one night stand /
fling. I think she was looking for casual
sex, and I'm just a relationship only kind
of guy and scared her off... I feel really
weird contacting her after the fact to ask
if she had any STD's, because I know she
wasn't a virgin... I knew her fairly well
beforehand, and so I have some trust in
her, but since she sort of fell out of my
life after that, I'm a little nervous,
because my urethra started hurting a month
or so after, it's been about 2 months,
going on three and the pains that were
here have pretty much gone away.
I guess, I know I should go get checked
out, but I don't know if I should be
getting checked out for a UTI, or an STD
of some sort, or something entirely
unrelated like kidney stones or something
-_- I'm pretty much just entirely nervous
about going to the doctor for all this,
especially now that it's subsiding, but I
also don't want to be a safety risk for
future relationships... argh. I guess I'm
just looking for some input as to what my
deal might be, and some moral support,
heh. It's hard to talk to the people close
to me about it, even though I know they
wouldn't turn their backs on me.
Heh, Ohiokid, if only we could go get
tested at the same time (For moral support,
nothing weird intended by that statement,
haha ><)
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
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Posted: 01-17-08 10:00am
I would say def. get tested before you get
involved in another sexual relationship,
but you know that. If you want some clues
about what you might have caught, you can
check out the sexually transmitted
diseases forum.
Honestly if you're nervous about calling
her, don't- if she says she's clean would
you trust her? She seems in to unprotected
sex and never asked you if you were clean,
right? You might wanna get tested anyway.
If it were a UTI, it would hurt
specifically when you peed- and you might
have a feeling like you have to pee really
bad but then you go and there's barely
anything coming out. If it was a kidney
stone you'd be feeling intense pains in
your kidneys (it would feel like your
lower back) far before you felt pain in
your penis. That's all I can tell ya,
otherwise, check the STD forum.
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fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 663 Location: , Norn Iron
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Posted: 01-17-08 11:56am
even if you have no symptoms whatsoever
it's still a good idea to get tested since
you've been sexually active. chlamydia for
example often manifests no symptoms in
men. i would go get tested if anything
just to put your mind at rest, too.
otherwise you'll always have the niggle in
the back of your head that says you might
have something.
I find statistics such as these useless.
Seriously. You argue about whether or not
the pull out method is effective... and
sure, it is most of the time for many
people, but clearly not all the time. And
add alcohol to the mix, who's to say for
sure if you really did pull out in time.
I'd be willing to bet that you can't
account for all the little sperm that
jumped out that night. but whatever. if
it's a problem, the girl will let you
know. And to base your pull out method on
the stats above is like saying, ok if i
have sex with 100 people, and pull out,
typically i'll get 15-28 girls pregnant.
Obviously thats crap, but thats kinda what
those stats are saying. heh.
Just get tested so you know where you
stand, can't really do anything about the
situation till then. Almost everyone
makes a drunken mistake like yours, and
although it's hard to deal with at the
moment, you'll move on. its not the end
of the world.
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5557 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
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Posted: 01-22-08 17:39pm
Well, no, actually, it means that out of
every 100 women, 15-28 will get pregnant
using that method for a whole year.
For a year, not just once.
But totally true- add alcohol and you're
sure to mess up.