So Jess what was the outcome? If you
didn't allow the test how was paternity
determined? Does your ex pay child
support?
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4101 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 02-27-08 10:35am
No, in California they do not allow you to
technically sign your rights over. However
Paul wanted nothing to do with Zachary I
petitioned thru the courts and he had to
write out a full testimont saying he did
not want anything to do with our child
(very hard for me) and we traded full
custody for him never paying a dime.
Although I work harder and have had my
struggling moments we are sooo better off
in life leaving him behind when Zach was a
baby.. I today wouldnt even want him in
our life... I dont need or want him or his
money!
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8783 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 161
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Posted: 02-27-08 11:15am
Thats really sad. Both my brother and I
grew up without a father (different dads!)
and it is something I would never want to
choose for my child. I've never met my
father but my brother briefly got to spend
time with his father.
We are both pretty bitter about it.
**This was in no way meant to make you
feel guilty!! We are bitter about
OUR situation. You are doing the best job
being a mom! I didn't mean for my own
feelings to relect on you at all. **
Last edited by Ingi on 02-27-08 11:21am; edited 1 time in total
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Verizon-y
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Aug 2007 Posts: 3291
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Thanked:0
Posted: 02-27-08 11:16am
Wow, what an ordeal you both have been
through. (You and Zach, I mean.) You are
very brave, and I admire the lengths
you've gone to in order to give your child
the best possible life.
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4101 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 02-27-08 11:31am
Ingi
wrote:
Thats really sad. Both my
brother and I grew up without a father
(different dads!) and it is something I
would never want to choose for my child.
I've never met my father but my brother
briefly got to spend time with his
father.
We are both pretty bitter about it.
**This was in no way meant to make you
feel guilty!! We are bitter about
OUR situation. You are doing the best job
being a mom! I didn't mean for my own
feelings to relect on you at all.
**
No no hun you could never make me feel
guilty about having paul sign his rights
over.. He wanted nothhhhing do do with
Zachary... I wouldnt now want to have him
around solely to financially provide for
someone he has no feelings for. Paul and I
were together for a while, got pregnant,
lived together, everything... When I
started showing he backed off alittle...
as the pregnancy prolonged... he would
disapear more and more... we had our fun
moments but he made very very apparent
that he didnt like the tied down family
life... he wasnt even in the delivery room
when I had zach he was in the waiting
room... he lied, cheated, everything.. He
has never (even when we were together)
bonded with zach, help him for more than 5
minutes, changed a diaper, nothing. When
he was a month old he told me flat out he
has no bond, connection, or love for our
son. We split up when he was a month and a
half old. Between a month and a half and 4
months (when the process began to sign his
rights over) he saw zachary a total of 3
times. once for a 20 minute lunch in,
where he picked him up for 2 minutes and
set him down saying and i quote "SEEING
him is enough for me" not holding or
anything, another to where he got into a
verbal fight with my parents, and the 3rd
for a family get together where he
attempted to act like father of the year
in front of his grandparents. After that
we never saw him agian. and Havent since
Zach was 4 months old.
Paul had begun telling people (when zee
was a baby) that I was a one night stand,
and that the baby wasnt even his. (I cut
ties with all our mutual friends because I
didnt want to hear it) He tells people he
doesnt want or have children. And to this
day he is still with the girl he started
cheating on me with (at 8 months pregnant)
Jobless(well bounces between jobs), living
with his parents, and partying it up. He
thought he wanted to be super dad, turns
out he wanted to be mr partier, not check
in with anything no have any cares, and
his gf is just as bad.
I wouldnt want that person in my sons
life. Zach is better than that! He
deserves more. Deserves all the love in
the world. If when hes 16 and wants to
know about his biological father... I'll
pull down that box up in the closet filled
with prom pictures and birthday cards. and
I will give him his paternal grandparents
and paternal fathers address and #'s but I
know without a blind of the eye, they will
simply shut the door on him the second he
introduces himself. Paul has made that
perfectly clear.
