I've been with my boyfriend for about 4
months now, and the first few times we had
sex, I would get so wet and soo excited
that I had no problem getting off. But
now, I just can't seem to anymore, and I
don't think it's anything he's doing
wrong.
I know that most women need clitoral
stimulation through either oral or hand,
but even when he does that anymore...it
just doesn't do anything for me. I think
it may be because of two possible
reasons:
1. I've become somewhat insecure about the
way I look, taste, and smell down there.
He likes me to be completely bare, which
is a new thing for me, so I'm always
worried about if I shaved well enough for
him, as well as washed well enough.
2. I tend to be more focused on getting
him off than me getting off, I love seeing
him get off, and he often tends to take a
while to get off. And after so long, it
starts to get sore and painful and after
it starts to get sore, than I may as well
just forget about myself climaxing.
It's also harder for me to get wet too.
Before we go to have sex now, I'm thinking
about these issues and not even being in
the moment, so I don't get excited and
wet.
I'm just really upset because I don't know
how to get over these problems.
I hate to say it, but as soon as I get
home from his house, I usually masturbate
because it's easier for me to get myself
off since I don't have to worry about how
I smell, taste, and look to someone else
or have to worry about pleasing someone
else.
Does that make any sense?
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-13-08 22:47pm
It sounds like you already know your
problems... you're insecure about yourself
and you're focusing too much on your
partner's pleasure and not on your own. I
don't have any advice on how to improve
your self-image and become comfortable
with him again, or how to focus on
yourself and not him, but that's what you
need to do.
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mwb2050
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2008 Posts: 14 Location: Huntsville, AL
Posted: 01-14-08 12:28pm
Yes, you're worrying too much - which can
kill the mood and make it hard to climax.
First of all, do you like shaving it bare?
Because personally, this would bug the
crap outta me. Nicely trimmed is MUCH
more comfortable, in my opinion. So for
starters, maybe it'd help if you just
trimmed it instead of having to worry
about keeping it baby-smooth all the
time...
If he cares about you like he should, he
won't mind.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5316 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 62
Thanked:27
Posted: 01-14-08 13:01pm
Maybe direct him some more?
I'm thinking slightly tame/dominatrix
style direction- have sex once and just
make it all about you, be selfish (you can
pay him back later) and tell him exactly
what he needs to do?
And as for being clean, maybe keep baby
wipes in the bathroom, and run in and
freshen up quickly before your romp
session? Might help you to feel more
confident.
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