We've been together for a long time now,
and over the time she has been on and off
focused and unhappy with her body and
weight. She has recently been saying that
I think she's too fat and keeps saying
'i'm too fat for you though aren't I?!?'
and i reassure her that I am not bothered
by her body and love her the way she is.
However, today she told me that when she
was eating lunch she had a thought about
something (she doesn't want to tell me
what it is at the moment) and it put her
right off eating it. She then told me that
after dinner, her family had served some
dessert, and it was one of her favourites.
As she began to eat some of it, she
thought the same thought as she had done
at lunch and decided she didn't want any
more.
Later this evening, I was on the phone to
her and she said she was going to go for a
shower... and make her self through up.
I'm not sure if she was joking or not and
it has began to make me worry that she is
going to develop an eating disorder. Does
this sound like it could develop? and how
can i help it not get any worse?
Any help is much appreciated, thanks
|
keys101
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Sep 2007 Posts: 87 Location: , USA
Reply Posted: 01-14-08 15:50pm
Is it completely out of the question to
ask her about what that "thing" she
thought was? Without seeming like you're
prying? Maybe if you approach her without
accusation but with sympathy and concern
she will let her guard down and tell you
exactly what she's got going on.
|
Lewis_Spurs
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2007 Posts: 10 Location: Aldershot, England
Posted: 01-14-08 16:57pm
when she told me that she had this
thought, she said she wouldnt tell me...
then speaking to her later on the phone,
she said that she'd tell me then hang up
straight away so i couldnt ask about it or
anything. But in the end, she changed her
mind.
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danielv
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jul 2003 Posts: 78 Location: South East, Macedonia
Posted: 01-14-08 17:20pm
Hey Lewis,
Sorry to hear that man.
You sound like a you've got a good heart
and I sincerely respect your concern for
her. Remember that alot of girls
(especially young and thoroughly
commercially brain washed ones) are
completely crazy. Any attempt to figure
them out or salvage a broken self esteem
is not only futile but dangerous for your
own well being. If you feel that she is
exhibiting unhealthy behaviour, then don't
be afraid to confront her about it. Set
your boundaries, and if you feel that she
is not responding in a healthy adult
manner, then move on. It will send a
much stronger signal for her that her
modus operandi is not working than any
"baby, don't worry i love you, the way
you are" sweet talk will ever help.
Whenever we say that sort of stuff it goes
in one ear and comes out the other. It
only feeds her false ego and contributes
to the complex. Don't reward her negative
behaviour with caring attention, you will
strengthen it. Set your boundaries, and
if they are violated run for your life
man.
I've been through the same thing hundreds
of times. There are healthy girls out
there, and you don't have to play doctor
for the rest of your life. Sometimes a
good break up will actually help her to
see the ridiculousness of her actions.
Good luck man.
|
keys101
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Sep 2007 Posts: 87 Location: , USA
Posted: 01-15-08 12:36pm
Wow, Daniel.... I feel like I should put
on my girl claws on principle, but you're
right. I don't think he should leave RIGHT
away, only after he's tried sincerity and
she doesn't respond positively, then
leave. But hey maybe if she cuts it out-
it DOES sound like she's being immature-
and realizes that the relationship is more
important than her little melodrama then
it can work out after all.
(Sorry for the harshness.)
|
Lewis_Spurs
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2007 Posts: 10 Location: Aldershot, England
Posted: 01-15-08 15:32pm
That might be a good approach actually. At
the moment, she seems to be back to her
normal self and she told me that she was
only joking about the throwing up thing...
i know that can be hard to believe, but i
know when she is telling the truth. We're
going out for dinner on Friday, that might
be a good chance to observe how she acts
about eating. I know she is keen on
getting appertite supressant tablets, but
i don't know how good they are. She had
lost weight on them before but when she
didnt have the money to get more, she put
the weight back on. Can anyone tell me
anything about how good they are? I have
found a few that are in a health shop
(sells all sorts of supplements from Cod
Liver Oil to Creatine) and they seem to be
okay... but a little more information, if
it can be provided, would be nice
|
wavyhaired
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2008 Posts: 40
Posted: 01-25-08 15:23pm
You sound like a really supportive and
great boyfriend! She's lucky to have you.
|
rabbitgreen
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Dec 2007 Posts: 11 Location: , Malaysia
Posted: 01-26-08 01:07am
Hello Lewis,
Any kind of synthetic suppressants do not
contribute to health. You need to read
labels and watch what you buy. Is she
eating healthily - balanced meals? Go see
a nutritionist and a good probiotic
(friendly bacteria) will help the
digestive system.
it occurs to me that she using yr caring
nature too well and sucking yr energy.
Like Daniel said, set boundaries. Exercise
your choice and make it powerfully w/o
blaming anyone especialy yourself.
|
28shazza
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 6
daniel? Posted: 02-01-08 08:45am
Have you ever had an eating disorder? no?
well how dare you tell him to leave his
gf? he loves her! i suffer from anorexia
and it has caused many probs with my
parter-but he loves me and supports me-a
real man sticks around when times are
tough-not run like a coward!
|
28shazza
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jan 2008 Posts: 6
daniel? Posted: 02-01-08 08:46am
Have you ever had an eating disorder? no?
well how dare you tell him to leave his
gf? he loves her! i suffer from anorexia
and it has caused many probs with my
parter-but he loves me and supports me-a
real man sticks around when times are
tough-not run like a coward!
|
bibisim
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 76
RUN AWAY MAN??? Posted: 03-20-08 08:50am
////[quote="danielv"]Hey Lewis,
I've been through the same thing hundreds
of times. There are healthy girls out
there, and you don't have to play doctor
for the rest of your life. Sometimes a
good break up will actually help her to
see the ridiculousness of her
actions.////
Ok, Daniel, it is so obvious that u have
been in such situations hundreds of times,
i bet you go for another hundred! you
problem is : YOU ARE NOT A RELIABLE MAN,
GIRLS HAVE A NOSE FOR THAT AND RUN AWAY!
